How do you divvy up chores?
Just kidding, it’s a trick question. Whether you’re a couple trying to keep your one-bedroom apartment tidy, or a big family that wants everyone to pitch in, it feels like an impossible task.
A recent Reddit thread detailed one such argument, and OP wanted a verdict on whether he was in the right about his reaction his girlfriend’s attempts to solve the dispute or not.
“We have been fighting about chores the whole time so far while things were great before.”
OP and his girlfriend have been fighting continuously since they moved in together a few months ago.
He says it started with a few random requests, which he was fine with.
“Eventually I was mad at her for interrupting me so much in the day and we fought,” he wrote. “So her ‘solution’ the next day was [to] make a list of chores pinned inside the closet.”
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He thought she was being controlling.
He says he agreed, even though he had reservations.
Over the next few weeks, they kept fighting, and eventually his girlfriend “printed a whole [expletive] book”, complete with sticky tabs and specific instructions.
“I already felt then I was treading on over-controlling roommate territory but she can be very fussy and likes stuff tidier than me and I didn’t want a fight so I agreed,” he explained. “Even though she asked for ‘minimum one chore a day’ as if I’m an employee and this isn’t my home as well to relax after work.”
“Obviously it was insulting because she gave me this stupid manual that she clearly spent time in writing.”
He resented being treated like a child, so he did the adult thing by, uh…cutting up the chore book with a pair of scissors and throwing it in the trash.
“So after that we fought again. She thinks I’m being unreasonable and I think she’s being a micro manager,” he wrote. “I think we have problems but it isn’t the chores.”
He asked Reddit if he was in the right, and as you can probably imagine, things got spicy.
“After you made it sound like doing one chore a day is something an employee would do in his own home, I made up my mind.”
Another commenter points out that OP is kind of being ridiculous here by acting like one chore a day is too much.
They add that something’s wrong when one partner is so bad at doing chores that they need to have an instruction book made up for them.
“Have you considered that you are in fact a slacker?”
This commenter breaks it down succinctly:
“So you don’t like when she asks you to help because it interrupts you, you don’t like when she makes lists, you don’t listen to her instructions but also don’t want her to write the instructions.”
“I have to wonder — how do you think the rest of the chores get done? How often does her day get ‘interrupted’ by things that need to be done? Have you ever asked?”
This commenter asks OP if he’s ever considered what his girlfriend goes through, considering his post didn’t even try to empathize with her.
“I guarantee you [the chore book] was not a whim or a fun project for her,” they point out.
“Why is you doing chores ‘helping’ her and not simply doing your part as a person who also lives there?”
“Why do you need reminders or pushing to clean,” asks another Redditor. “Exactly what is she interrupting you from that is more important than doing your share of housekeeping?”
It seems the verdict is in, folks. OP needs to step up. Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
