When a birthday for someone you care deeply about arrives, it can be rather nerve-wracking. You want to give them the best present possible, and while that can be tough on its own, sometimes a wrench is thrown in by someone you don’t expect.
When one man was preparing to get a gift for his girlfriend’s birthday, another friend swept in and gave her something that left him feeling anxious.
Navigating jealousy in a relationship can be tough.
It’s a hard emotion to deal with and can cause a lot of problems if it’s not handled properly. It can arise from a multitude of different circumstances and can feel impossible to control.
When one man was dealing with a particular case of jealousy within his relationship, he turned to Reddit’s Am I The Asshole forum to ask for some perspective.
His post was short and to the point.
It was titled, “[Am I the asshole] for getting mad at a guy for sending my gf $500 flowers for her birthday?”
The opening sentence dispelled an assumption people might immediately have, “I know for a fact he’s just a friend so no comments about that. I’m sure. The point is something else.”
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Then he jumps right into his own feelings regarding the gift.
“I’m upset because they’re better flowers than I can afford for her birthday so anything I get for her will be a pity, she posted it on Instagram for everybody to see, and she is just going to tell people they’re from me and have me lie if somebody asks.
“They’re roses too, and she picked the color ahead of time so she knew they were coming.”
Then he explained a bit about the friend.
He’s apparently married but flexible, and after some calculations, the author realized the bouquet was actually closer to $1000. The friend did not pay full price for this bouquet, though. He’s a businessman who’s a partner in the floral shop business that got the bouquet for him.
He then describes the particular reason he’s asking for judgement on Reddit.
“I got extremely jealous and was about to message him telling him hey, I respect your friendship but this is too much. Gf stopped me and asked if I was crazy, my problem is with her not him if I don’t like it. [Am I the asshole]?”
The answers were actually rather mixed.
The top comment reads, “So the issue [isn’t] that he got her flowers, but that they are more expensive than you can afford. […] A gift isn’t about the cost, it’s about the thought put into it, and if you continue to compare dollar amounts, you’re always gonna find someone who can afford more than you.”
However, there are some people that easily see why he’s upset.
Despite his disclaimer in the post, a few comments still accused the friend of being suspicious.
Another comment read, “Your problem should be with both of them – him, for sending an overkill number of roses […] and her for not establishing boundaries with this friend. So she’s uncomfortable enough with the gift that she needs to lie about who got them, but ISN’T uncomfortable enough by the fact that this guy is crossing into inappropriate territory?”
In the end, the author returned with an update.
“Fully admit [I’m the asshole] for wanting to message him but very surprised at how many people think it’s ok for a man […] to send over $1000 worth in roses to another mans girlfriend. Also very surprised at how few people think roses are a romantic gift, you all grew up in a different world than I did.”
“Appreciate the kind and understanding people here, these things aren’t easy. Already resolved it by apologizing for trying to text him but told her I still think it’s an inappropriate gift. Thanks all.”
What do you think of the situation? Let us know in the comments!
