I don’t know about all of you, but I personally love reading tweets that remind me of my own life. There’s just something so… comforting about it. It relaxes me.
Now, make those super relatable tweets funny and you’ve got peak content, my friend. Because if there’s anything we love more than feeling like strangers online have read our minds, it’s having those strangers make us laugh, too.
All together now.
You know how in the music video for “Bye Bye Bye,” all the members of NSYNC are puppets? Well, that’s how it feels watching any boy band sing together and dance in perfect synchronicity.
I can’t explain why, but I just love it. Thanks for the entertainment, fellas. Now keep dancing.
I’m just doing my civic duty.
Look, no one wants to have relationships with men. In a perfect world, we could just avoid them altogether.
But this isn’t a perfect world and, tragically, some of us are… straight . Ugh.
It did not, in fact.
“I believe this is the perfect time to have a frank discussion about your performance this quarter. I’ve scheduled us a meeting for this week. I trust you’ll be able to attend.”
The *audacity*.
Here’s a quick list of all the times when it’s appropriate for a man to ask a woman that question:
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I don’t like the way he looks at me.
I also don’t really understand what he is? Does he have a body or is he just a floating head? Why is his mustache like that?
Too many unanswered questions for my liking.
You bring nothing to the table, sorry.
You know what goes really great with a steaming hot cup of coffee? Absolute silence. We should pair those two up more often.
Let’s get to it.
Look, I don’t think any of us really feel like defending humanity any more. So to all those aliens out there eyeing up planet earth, please feel free to come wipe us out whenever is most convenient for you.
I mean, it’s not wrong?
I’m not sure what’s going on in that picture or why it belongs in a bathroom but it doesn’t seem to be saying anything that we wouldn’t agree with.
Why yes, women do drive cars.
I don’t remember a single mention of toilet paper shortages in any of them.
And I’m pretty sure there was never any chapter about people literally protesting against doctors who are trying to keep them safe from deadly viruses.
Certainly seems counterproductive to me.
I’m just gonna be louder now.
I remember my teachers were constantly switching up the seating arrangement to try and put the disruptive kids away from their friends.
But that just meant they had to shout across the room at them so how’d that plan work out for you, Ms. Brown?
Does anyone *really* have a “dream job”?
Honestly, my dream is to not have to work. Let’s just start referring to this concept as “I can’t afford to live if I do what I really love so this is the job I’ll settle for just so I can pay for food and have a roof over my head.”
I don’t really wanna see what tomorrow holds.
If nothing else, 2020 taught me that you really shouldn’t go to bed at night expecting tomorrow to be any better than today was.
In fact, odds are it’s just going to be worse. Okay, sleep tight!
It’s just not possible.
Someone I went to school with just posted that her son is starting school in the fall and I guess I just forgot I’m at an age now where people actually have kids and marriages and, you know, lives.
Oops.
Whenever I do something embarrassing while I’m driving, I’ll put my elbow up on the window and shield my face from the other drivers because my shame is too strong and I can’t let anyone identify me.
Y’all were your own babysitter too?
I can distinctly remember my parents having the exact same talk with us before leaving for hours because somehow they trusted three little kids who couldn’t reach the cookie cupboard without climbing up on a chair to take care of themselves all night.
