Being a mom is a lot of hard work. From changing diapers to breastfeeding and warming bottles, we’re running around constantly trying to make things happen for our families. Sometimes life can be so overwhelming that we have no choice but to laugh all of the hard times off. We love a funny mom because it makes our lives seem not so wild and crazy.
Someone come get this kid, it’s not mine.
No one wants to be the one with a crying child on the airplane. Everyone is going to look at you as, “that mom who brought a screaming kid on board.” So, you might as well try to ditch them! (Kidding!)
It’s a horror movie.
You can have the sweetest, most beautiful kid in the world but as soon as they try to wake you up out of a dead sleep in the middle of the night, it’s over.
Send help!
A screaming child is not a child that I ever want to be around. Someone tell this kid that whispering is the new talking and we are only accepting requests in whispers from now on.
Everything gets split, and I mean everything.
Having two kids means that everything gets shared. And by everything — we mean everything. Even the smallest of things need to get split in half so no one cries or feels left out.
This is mommy’s special snack.
When our kids are screaming, running, hitting, kicking, spilling, and all the in-betweens… we just need a break. Maybe a Xanax, maybe a glass of wine. Whatever it is, we need to just relax.
Thanks for that, kid.
There’s nothing like having your own child embarrass you worse than anyone else could have. We don’t need someone announcing our bowel movements in public bathrooms. Thanks, honey.
We’re always the most careful with our first.
Our first kid is like that brand new doll that you want to make sure never leaves your sight. When it comes to your second, and third, and fourth kid? Well, everyone can hold them and they can eat whatever they want. It’s fine.
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We’re not hypocrites we’re just…hypocrites.
We may not want our kids to eat like crap, but we can eat like crap because all we do is put up with their crap all day long.
Genius in the making.
Honestly, there’s nothing more relatable than a kid saying they love us but forget to care about our existence. I would write back, “Same kid, same.”
Yup, we do.
Mommy cries when she’s on her last glass of Pinot Grigio because now we’re stuck sobering up and dealing with life as it comes to us.
It’s a challenge to say the least.
You try telling your daughter that she cannot wear her Elsa dress to school every single day. It’s a challenge and should be considered an Olympic sport.
Genius idea here.
Most moms know that there’s almost never a peaceful moment to enjoy your morning cup of coffee, and you’re stuck chugging cold coffee you forgot about hours later. This mom fixed that problem brilliantly.
