One of the most precious blessings in the world is to grow up in a family that you feel confident will love and accept you no matter what.
In these households, secrets that would normally be nightmarish to reveal can be introduced in a relaxed, supportive environment with the understanding that the family can get through whatever problem one of their members has together.
But unfortunately, all too many of us know that not all families work like this. For some, deviating from what their parents expect from them can get somebody punished, ostracized , and even outright disowned.
In that most extreme situation, the demoralizing knowledge that you may never see your family again is only compacted by the impression that there are limits to their love. And as one woman’s story illustrates, that pain only makes it more galling when that family suddenly finds it convenient to forget they did this.
After describing her parents as “super religious,” the woman we’re about to hear from shared their reactions when she didn’t want to go to a Christian college.
As she explained in a Reddit post , they refused to help pay for her schooling unless she came back “to the right path,” which left her struggling for a couple of months.
That was until a friend told her that a club was hiring exotic dancers and since she had danced to some degree for all her life, she was able to adapt to the work quickly.
Not only did this solve her money woes, but it put her in a position where could own her own house outright and prepare for life after she aged out of her job with a series of investments.
To give you an idea of her income, it’s considered a bad week if she makes $3,000 by the time it ends and a very good week if she earns $11,000.
However, it also led to her being disowned by her parents as soon as she started dancing, along with everyone else in her family aside from two cousins.
That happened nine years ago, but her parents recently contacted her nonetheless.
The reason? Her father had lost his business due to the pandemic and her parents were now bankrupt as a result.
So despite the fact that they disowned her, they now wanted their daughter’s financial support. In response, the woman reminded them they didn’t have a daughter anymore and that they would normally consider her money tainted by sin.
As she relayed, “My mom started crying and my dad said that they didn’t know where they went wrong with me.”
Other family members tried to guilt her by saying family helps family, but backed down once she asked them what was stopping them from living up to that code themselves.
Despite this, the fact that her parents are genuinely struggling makes her wonder if she should help them anyway.
In response, just about every commenter expressed that she shouldn’t feel any obligation whatsoever to do so.
As one user said , “In religious parlance, “they reaped what they sowed.” They disowned you and didn’t care if you were homeless when you…the horror…chose to go to the college of your choice.”
That said, if it would give her more peace of mind to help them than spurn them, the husband of a retired judge let her in on the best way to do this.
As he explained , “You can set up a blind trust that will pay them only enough money that it doesn’t louse up their social security payments WITH THE PROVISO that this trust ends *permanently* if they ever contact you again.”
This person also explained that she doesn’t even have to talk to them to arrange any payments, as the lawyer she names as trustee can handle all communications for her.
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At last report, she sounded interested in that option.
h/t: Reddit | Born-Problem-8280