It blows my mind, but a weird number of us were allowed to watch Friends as kids.
In my house, The Simpsons was off-limits (thanks, Itchy and Scratchy), but Friends was fine. It wasn’t until we were older that my mom realized how dirty Friends actually was.
RELATED STORIES
If that sounds familiar, then join me in discovering just how many dirty jokes we watched… and didn’t even notice.
Ross and the juice box
I can’t believe I watched this as a kid.
I also can’t believe that Rachel was okay with getting down on the museum floor that looks like it has the world’s itchiest carpeting. Girl, where are your standards?
When Rachel said this
When Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe went all-in on a self-help book for women, it liberated them in big ways.
It also led to this joke, which… I mean, anything involving the word “blow” is going to come off wrong, isn’t it?
Stock tips with Monica
Tag yourself, I’m Rachel’s incredibly unimpressed facial expression.
All Monica wanted to do was get overly obsessed with the stock market for a hot second.
No one ordered a side of Joey grossness for the table.
Chandler KNEW IT
I’d say this is kicking a man when he’s down, but I was always on Team Rachel for the great Ross vs Rachel debate.
They were on a break! And yeah, maybe Rachel’s 18-page essay was a bit much, but he didn’t have to lie about reading it.
I have a lot of feelings on this subject, apparently.
Joey’s man bag
Looking back, this is an eerily prescient lead-up to the actual hookup of Rachel and Joey.
Anyway, Joey’s general airheadedness always makes for a good laugh, even if it’s a clumsy one.
Chandler’s supply
The great Christmas present hunt was really embarrassing for Chandler.
1: He didn’t find any presents; and 2: Phoebe and Rachel found his porn stash.
All in all, that wasn’t the best day for Miss Chanandler Bong.
Mon’ca bang
After accidentally banging Ben’s head on the crossbeam of their apartment, Rachel and Monica decided to bang their own heads to make him think it was normal.
Rachel’s comment was actually more normal, in this case. Tbh.
Joey’s nasty mind
There’s a lot of nasty to unpack here, so I’ll leave that up to you.
What I want to know is why Joey just assumed Chandler found recipe magazines… stimulating.
You know what, it’s Chandler. Anything goes. I take it back.
Monica’s handshake
Um… wow.
This one really went over my head. Between Monica’s rough massages and her overly aggressive handshakes, Chandler must have had one interesting marriage.
Hope they had health insurance. That’s all I’m gonna say.
Science with Ross and Chandler
If you say you haven’t made this kind of joke in your life, you are fully lying.
The opportunity was there, and Chandler took it. I both love and support him for it.
Joey sucks at learning
All Rachel wanted to do was teach Joey how to sail the boat he accidentally won at an auction.
Instead, all she got was bad sex jokes and a psychological breakdown that she related right back to her father.
Maybe sailing just wasn’t for Rachel?
New year, same Ross
When you want to be a better, happier person for the new year, but you phrase things in ways that are easily mockable to your friends?
That has big Ross energy.
That’s not what that’s for
I mean… I get it, though. Curiosity is a powerful thing.
I can’t help but wonder if they’d just use the measure app on their phones, if Friends was set nowadays. Anyway.
Monica is a plumbing expert
Listen, what a woman gets up to in the shower is between her and her shower head, okay?
I can’t believe she even brought it up. I would have taken that entire incident to the grave.
Good for Uncle Sal
I’m just so happy for Uncle Sal’s wife, you know? Good for her. Good for Uncle Sal.
This is a classically underrated joke, in my opinion. It’s nasty, it’s subtle, and I heard it at, like, 13 years old.
Guys…wtf?
Halloween burn
When Rachel opened the door to a little girl who told her that she loved her, Rachel gave her all the candy!
To which Phoebe replied: “No wonder you’re pregnant.”
When biology failed Chandler
When we were kids, we didn’t understand what Chandler meant when he said biology had failed him.
But after understanding that he couldn’t get it up, we laughed our heads off.
Phoebe outing Ross
When Phoebe reveals that her new telephone job is better than her last one because she wouldn’t have to say “spank” as much, Ross says “What?”
To which she replies, “Oh, yeah, like you’ve never called.”
ROSS!!!!
What were they measuring?
Okay, so now we know that.
But back in the day, we thought they were probably making furniture or something.
Cats and dogs
Joey: I’m going to say a word, and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.
Girl: I can do that.
Joey: Okay. Here we go. Pillow.
Girl: Fight.
Joey: Very good. Okay, G.
Girl: String?
Joey: Excellent. Okay, doggy.
Girl: Kitten?
Joey: Oooh, sorry. So close though. But you know, bye bye.
Remember when we thought that was just about animals?
Chandler gets creative
When Chandler was trying to beat a video game, he had to get creative when coming up with different names for himself.
And he chose dirty words.
Monica: Hey, wait a minute, this one isn’t dirty.
Chandler: It is when you put it together with that one.
Monica: Ah, well if you don’t clear this off, you won’t be getting one of those from me.
What do you think the word was?
Hospital jokes
When Phoebe meets a man named Cliff at the hospital, she hands him a spoon, to which he replies, “I usually get to know a girl a little better before I let her spoon me.”
She says back, “Relax, it’s not like we’re forking.”
Which is sex.
Spin the bottle
As kids, it might have taken us a second to understand what Chandler meant when he said “story of my father’s life”, when the bottle landed on Joshua.
But when we grew up, we figured out it was because he was gay.
