Sometimes, a headline is worth a thousand words. The title of this piece might sound like something from a Mad Libs fever dream, but it all happened. I don’t know what lurks in the brains of cows — and after this, I’m not sure I want to know.
Cows, man.
Whether you believe they’re the silent jury in the trial of mankind or just sentient beef, there’s something a little unnerving when you look into a cow’s eyes.
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The age-old battle between police and cows flared up again.
Noblesville, Indiana, has a little over 50,000 residents. Their police force is clearly up to managing a town of that size. But while you might account for all 50,000 residents, there are also cows to worry about.
Here it is.
Noblesville’s boys in blue got an unusual call the other day when they had to wrangle a wayward cow that had somehow gotten loose. Time was of the essence, because this cow was out of control.
At first glance, it seems tentative.
This image from the NPD shows a cow that’s tentative, even wary. Maybe it didn’t even mean to get loose. Maybe it just needs someone to show it back to its home pasture.
It was no accident.
In the bottom left, you can see an officer assessing a situation that police college probably didn’t prepare him for. In the middle, you can see just why this is such a challenge.
*ENHANCE*
Look a little closer, and you’ll see that this cow is straight up sticking its tongue out at the officer who’s responded to the call. Things are going to get worse before they get better.
Off to the races.
The cow made a break for it, and there’s video . After checking out Noblesville’s swanky town sign, the cow decided to just run across a busy intersection, because why not?
Medium rare, don’t care.
The cow nonchalantly trots (cows trot, right?) in front of police cars. Remember, police are meant to enforce human laws. Cows only adhere to the laws of the….pasture.
There was method to the madness.
At first, it looks like the cow just decides to run across traffic for the fun of it. But this cow had a plan. It just took awhile for it to become clear.
Things got a little weird.
You know those commercials for a chicken place that feature cows breaking out from their enclosures and encouraging people to eat chicken? They’re absurd, but in this case, reality was even weirder.
Here’s how it ends.
After getting through traffic, the cow gets to the other side and waits outside, yes, the local Chick-Fil-A. I guess it just wanted to make sure people were indeed eating chicken rather than burgers.
All’s well that ends well.
The NPD confirmed on Facebook that they were able to get the cow back to its home. It’ll presumably remain there, at least until its next jailbreak.
