There are many things in life that are just a given and a known sign of respect. For example: not announcing big news at someone else’s party or event is something that people just know. It’s almost like a universal truth that you shouldn’t “upstage” another person’s event with your own major milestone. Or, so we would think, right?
Recently, one mom wrote into Reddit asking for advice after she had quite the birthday party for her daughter.
The mother started out by saying that her daughter, Maya, had been suffering from blood cancer for quite some time. It was very hard on the family, as she and her husband were doing everything they could.
According to her post, her parents had been suffering from their own health problems and her brother and his wife “hardly came around.”
And, when they did, they were less than helpful.
“My brother’s wife made some backhanded comments about Maya’s health/look while Maya was struggling. Maya cried twice because of her insensitivity and lack of consideration. We kept our distance from her and my brother and focused on Maya,” she said.
After Maya struggled for over a year, her health had been substantially better.
Maya wanted to celebrate her birthday with her family, seeing as she is very close with her grandparents. The mom agreed, as it would be nice to celebrate with family. Her brother and his wife had also been visiting her parents, so they attended, as well.
At first, the party was going “great,” the mom said.
“Family members showed up with gifts and more sweets and also took pictures. However. Once Maya started opening her gifts. My sister-in-law got up while my brother was asking for a minute because he said they had something to announce,” she said.
The mom said the announcement looked as though it was “planned.”
“My sister in law announced that she and my brother were expecting and everyone started congratulating her and hugging my brother. I was standing next to Maya and I noticed she was uncomfortable. Sister-in-law basically stole my daughter’s birthday to announce her pregnancy even though she could’ve picked another day,” she added.
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The mom also said that her daughter, Maya, was upset and uncomfortable.
“We left an hour early and once I got home I called my sister in law and asked her why she thought it was okay for her to ruin my daughter’s birthday and crush her spirit after having been through so much that this party was needed,” she wrote.
Her daughter, who she said had been through “so much,” was really upset by the entire event.
“Maya stayed in her room after that and she even refused to look at the pictures we took. I got into an argument with my brother telling me I shouldn’t berate his pregnant wife and scold her like that. He said she didn’t do anything to me so I needed to apologize for being mean and rude to her for no reason but I refused and turned my phone off,” the mom concluded.
She then asked the Reddit community if she was “wrong” for her decision to lash out on her brother and his wife.
The vast majority of people on Reddit said that this mom did absolutely nothing wrong and it was “tacky” of her brother and his wife to steal Maya’s thunder.
“You never steal another person’s moment to announce one of your own. Ever. I don’t care if it’s the only time in the next decade everyone will be together. You don’t steal someone else’s moment.
And especially not the moment of a kid who’s had a very rough year, probably terrified that she wouldn’t even see another birthday, and finally gets to have a celebration and a little normalcy,” one person wrote on Reddit.
Others said that if they really did want to announce it when the whole family was together, they should have waited until the end, at least.
“Even if your daughter had not been through a health crisis, announcing something like that [at] her birthday party is still insensitive and incredibly rude. They couldn’t even bother to wait until the end of the party,” another added.
What do you think? Did they overstep?