Wedding photos can be a big-time source of stress . From unexpected stylistic changes to lost or deleted photos , a lot is riding on these wedding day keepsakes.
There’s your typical wedding photo drama , then there’s the drama of the bride — one of the focal points of the whole ceremony — not wanting to be in the photos at all.
When you read the bride’s post on Reddit , her position starts to make a lot more sense.
OP was born with a big nose.
She writes that her fiancé and his family have always teased her about it, even though it doesn’t sit right (OP is of Jewish heritage and large noses are part of a long-running anti-Semitic stereotype ).
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It’s gotten hurtful at times.
“My fiancé made this comment once which was supposed to be joking/sweet where he basically said he was so lucky for my nose because it was the only way he had a chance with me,” OP wrote. “That comment stayed in my head since, the idea that I’d actually be beautiful if it wasn’t for my nose.”
She decided to get a nose job.
After awhile, her self esteem and the teasing got to be enough that OP decided to go under the knife and get a nose job. Her fiancé (the guy who contributed to her self esteem issues) was a big supporter of the surgery.
“My fiancé loves my new nose. I hate it so much.”
OP is experiencing some remorse with her new nose job. She writes that it feels like she’s looking at a different person in the mirror.
“I’ve always struggled with depression, and I was finally in a good place before this,” she wrote. “Now I can barely get myself to leave my room for work.”
Her fiancé is frustrated.
Rather than helping her through this difficult experience, he says OP is “sulking like a toddler.”
If this drama isn’t bad enough on its own, it’s all going down while OP and her fiancé are getting ready for their wedding.
She doesn’t want to be in wedding photos with her new nose.
“I didn’t want to let this hurt him, so I tried to come up with options like wearing my veil covering my face in the pictures, incorporating a scarf into the outfit, wearing my mask, etc., and he said if I do any of that we might as well not get married at all,” she wrote. “That hurt a lot. I can’t stand to see myself in pictures like this and having everybody see my nose the whole day would make this even worse for me.”
So is she in the wrong?
“Honey, no ,” emphasized the top-rated comment . “As a woman with Jewish heritage myself, there was nothing wrong with your nose. However, there is something wrong with the man who is supposed to be the love of your life insulting— and allowing his family to insult — the literal face you were born with. You don’t need to know your father to realize that people who make fun of certain ethnic features are racist. His insults are borderline anti-Semitic. And no, I’m not exaggerating.”
OP’s fiancé is rubbing people the wrong way.
“His comment about ‘the beak’ was stone cold cruel. His remark about your nose being the only way he’d have a chance with you is telling,” wrote another commenter . “He is superficial and shallow and inconsiderate, and I really hope you realize you deserve much better before the wedding rolls around.”
Is this the right kind of family to marry into?
Aside from the bullying, OP notes that her future in-laws “don’t like sensitive people.”
“I suspect the part about the family not liking sensitive people is instead not liking when someone pushes back against their bullying,” added a commenter . “What a breathtakingly horrible family.”
The verdict is in.
It shouldn’t come as a surprise, but OP was not the jerk in this story — while this story has a number of awful people in it, she isn’t one of them.
Let us know how you would have handled this in the comments section.
