Having to coordinate a whole bridal party as a bride can be pretty stressful. While some brides want every one of their bridesmaids to be dressed the same, others loosen up the rules a bit and allow the party to wear whatever they want.
This is a key detail in the story of one bride who accidentally angered her sister-in-law by having outfit freedom at her wedding .
A woman took to Reddit for advice when she realized she may have created a familial divide.
She explained the scenario in a post that starts like this: “I (32f) am getting married to my fiancé (41m) next year. After we got engaged, I suggested it might be nice if I asked my fiancé’s niece (who’s 15) if she wanted to be a bridesmaid too. I’ve only met her a couple of times, so we’re not close, but she seemed like a cool kid and I thought it might be a nice way for us to bond/ get to know each other/ involve her in the wedding.”
She then cuts to a few weeks ago, when they were visiting her fiancé’s family to talk wedding stuff.
“His brother, sister-in-law and their daughter came over and I noticed this time that she was dressed a lot more androgynous than I remembered. The topic moved to wedding dresses and bridesmaid’s dresses and I could see she was immediately uncomfortable. Her parents (her mum really) and grandma were making comments about how she’d need to be more feminine/ brush her hair etc, and how nice it would be to see her like that.”
This really struck a chord for the author.
“I’ll be honest and say this hit a nerve with me, as I was very much a tomboy as a teenager (even though I’m not anymore) and it absolutely broke me whenever my relatives would say things like that. Eventually, her mother made a comment along the lines of, ‘It’ll be nice to see you dressed like a girl for once,’ and she looked really sad/ embarrassed/ upset.”
So she jumped in.
She said her niece was free to wear whatever she wanted as long as it was in the ‘wedding color’, and even said that her maid-of-honor would be wearing a pantsuit. She then began showing the girl other non-dress options on her phone, like a tailored tux or a jumpsuit.
Her niece perked up, but her sister-in-law looked mad.
Apparently, the sister-in-law then went to the author’s fiancé and asked him to pressure her into making all the bridesmaids wear dresses just so her daughter will have to wear one.
The bride-to-be said that while her husband doesn’t care what the bridesmaids wear, he understandably doesn’t want his family to be arguing with his wife on their special day. She doesn’t want to back down for her niece’s sake, but is wondering if she’s being too stubborn about one day.
Thankfully, the comments came to back up her decision.
They fully supported her and even thanked her for allowing the young girl the freedom to wear what she wants.
The top comment on the post writes, “Don’t back down. Stand your ground. Never in my life had I thought I would be urging someone to be a bridezilla. Please. Please. Be the bridezilla. Go full bridezilla.”
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To this, the author replied, “Full bridezilla it is!”
Others suggested further action.
One thoughtful commenter said she should take her niece shopping for the outfit, free of the pressure from her mom, then keep it at her own house so it stays safe until the wedding day.
Others were busy commenting about how rude her SIL was being for wanting to be so controlling of her daughter’s clothing, and cheered the poster on for standing up to her.
The future bride seems very confident in her decision.
A kind, empathetic, and supportive woman who’s looking out for her young family members and striving to make them just as happy as she’ll be on her wedding day. What a sweet and beautiful story, kudos to her!
What do you think? Let us know in the comments!
