Many girls dream about their wedding day from a very young age. Some plan as early as when they are toddlers — seeing princesses in movies and imagining what their wedding dress will someday look like.
In many families, a wedding dress is a keepsake that can be passed down from mother to daughter. Some women love the idea of being able to honor their mother by wearing her wedding dress again on their own special day.
However, not everyone sees weddings in such a way. Instead, people can insert themselves into the planning and preparation of what a bride will wear and do on their special day. When that happens, it can backfire.
One Reddit user recently opened up about a traumatic incident that occurred with her fiancé’s family
Capital_Manager_7070 shared that she met her fiancé, Jacob, when she was 21, and they have been together for six years. They have been engaged for almost a year and are planning their special day. Of course, picking out her wedding dress is a huge part of their wedding day.
However, this soon-to-be bride said she had some ideas about what she wanted to wear.
Her mother’s wedding dress is a generational keepsake in her family
Her mother’s dress has been passed down from other women in her family and she has “always dreamed” about walking down the aisle in it. However, her fiancé’s family had some plans of their own.
She revealed that she and her fiancé were invited to a dinner at his family’s house where his sister decided to make a toast — which included some surprising news. She tapped her glass and exclaimed that she would “be right back.”
His sister returned from the other room with a very large plastic bag
She proceeded to open the plastic bag, which contained her wedding dress, which she had worn two years before. The rest of her fiancé’s family began to clap, and her fiancé’s sister shared that it was her “wedding gift” to the bride and groom for her new sister-in-law to wear her wedding dress on her wedding day.
The bride was shocked and tried to hide her disappointment, but it was too late. Everyone around the table began to ask her what was wrong.
She tried to explain to everyone at the table that she already had a wedding dress
The Reddit user shared that it was “nothing personal” and that she had plans to wear her mother’s wedding dress on her wedding day. Her future sister-in-law then began to cry, and her in-laws began to rip into her. She ended up running outside and crying herself — but her fiancé didn’t come outside to comfort her.
She said he finally came outside after “what felt like hours” and yelled at her to get into the car so they could leave.
He proceeded to berate her and scold her
Instead of having her back and supporting her, he said that she “had made such a big scene and embarrassed him in front of his family.” In addition, he said he said that he can’t believe he’s marrying such a “b*tchy c*nt.”
Not only did he call her names, but he also insulted the bride’s mother’s wedding dress, saying his sister’s was “much more modern” compared to the “rags” her mother got married in.
She explained that her mother’s dress meant a lot to her
Despite this, her groom did not see where she was coming from or even acknowledge her point of view. The bride feels like he and his family put her on the spot and thought she would just go along with their plans.
Part of her feels bad for standing up for herself, and she now believes she should have acted happy and spoken to her sister-in-law in private rather than in front of the entire family.
However, Reddit disagrees
Many people felt that it was very weird of the fiancé’s sister to impose on her special day and hand over her dress to wear. Not only did the bride not pick it out, she didn’t even discuss it with her before doing this in front of the entire family.
“That is so weird of your SIL- they sound like a really creepy overstepping group of people who are also incredibly rude and borderline abusive,” wrote Ok-Benefit197.
“It’s not normal for future SIL’s to “gift” you their wedding dress and cry because you don’t want it,” added Radiant_Humor5110.
Aside from the dress saga, many said that her fiancé should be “dead to her”
The dress saga at dinner was one thing, but how her fiancé spoke to her in the car was another. People online had one piece of advice: Run.
“It’s bad enough he wants to dictate what OP will be wearing and does it in this manipulating way, but count in the complete disregard of her attachment to mom’s dress, not having her back or checking on her, yelling, guilt tripping her, calling names and completely disregarding her feelings and I can only make one conclusion: He is a POS and you need to leave him now! DO NOT GET MARRIED,” wrote Elliewick.
Others said these are his “true colors”
In certain situations, true colors emerge, and it’s unavoidable.
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“Be thankful that he is showing you who he really is before you marry him. You have just had a glimpse of what your future is going to look like if you go through with your wedding,” commented Affectionate-Tap1967.
“The fact that he used two misogynistic slurs in one breath while berating you for not wanting to wear his sister’s dress is reason enough to cancel the wedding. The fact that your fiance’s family was tearing into you for your polite refusal is a sign you don’t want to be part of that family,” added DaniCapsFan.
Overall, Reddit said this was the final nail in the coffin of their relationship
Despite being together for almost a decade, many people online felt as though this was a preview of any conflict in their marriage.
“I encourage you strongly to overthink if this is the man you want to be with for the rest of you life. He might be a nice person in general but when he turns to insults this fast over something so little I think he might not be the one. He should have known that SILs dress is not an option and defend you but he did the exact opposite,” said DrRaumfisch.
And the best advice of all?
“Wear your mother’s dress when you marry a man who respects you,” shared phylbert57.
H/T Reddit
