There are some traditions when it comes to weddings that people stick to. Traditionally, many believe it is the bride’s parents who pay for the wedding of their daughter. Sometimes, parents have the money to do this, but other times, they don’t. When that happens, some people opt for smaller weddings instead of big, large, expensive ones. Some even opt to elope.
Recently, one soon-to-be bride took to Reddit seeking advice over her wedding plans.
The Reddit user said that her parents, who originally agreed to pay for her wedding, cut the budget in half.
Now, she wants to elope and forgo the big wedding altogether. But, her mom is really not into that plan at all.
The Reddit user said she makes “good money,” but her parents had made her a promise.
“They’ve always said they’d pay for my wedding when I decide to get married. I set my budget around 25k and started getting estimates on venue, photographer, videographer, etc.
My dad said the budget was 40k (which I knew I’d be way below) so I wouldn’t have to stress about diy-ing the whole thing and enjoy the planning process,” she said.
Her mom, however, was starting to go back on that budget.
“My mom has consistently pushed me to cut corners and have a cheaper wedding and said she’d give me a few thousand as a gift if I do (note: my mom is notorious for backtracking on promises when it comes to money).
My fiancé and I agree we’d rather have a nice, put together wedding than accept the gift(might I restate, she backtracks on these decisions last minute too often for me to trust it).
My mom has also gotten estimates of how much her friends paid for their daughters weddings (all of which were over 25k) and agreed they could swing that financially,” she said.
Now, her mom decided to cut the budget in half to $20,000 instead of $41,000.
“The kicker here is after those two estimates were thrown out, my parents backtracked and gave me a final wedding budget of 20k.
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My mom is also pushing me to use vendors her friends used instead of me finding people my that fit my style (she wants a southern barn wedding, I like more modern elegance). I wouldn’t be so upset with them had the budget been 20k from the beginning but it seems as if they pulled that number out of thin air.
They also created this budget after my mom spent 3000 on my dress and veil so I’m now left with 17k.”
The bride decided she’s rather elope than have a wedding she doesn’t like.
“My fiancé and I are long distance and will be until we’re married and when I told my mom I’d rather elope than dance around a wedding budget and not be able to enjoy my day, she flipped.
She’s pretty much refusing to let me elope and when I told her to plan the wedding herself because she’s being so picky, she had a problem with that too,” the Reddit user said.
Now, she’s asking the website users for advice because she feels there’s “no winning” in this situation.
Some said that this bride sounded “entitled” and “rude.”
“Sorry but you sound incredibly entitled whinging about your parents only giving you 20k for a single day event. That’s an annual salary for some people.
Your mum is being overly pushy which I can imagine is really annoying. If she offered to pay for a wedding as a gift then it should be yours to design.
If you want to elope then do it,” one person said.
Some were confused as to why the bride couldn’t pay the difference herself.
“Your parents shouldn’t keep changing your budget, because it makes planning difficult and your mother for trying to control your wedding.
However, they said that they would pay for your wedding and they are keeping their word. Instead of “threatening” to elope, you and your fiance could actually financially contribute to make up the difference in the budget,” one person added.
There were, however, some who agreed with the Reddit user.
“OP’s parents gave them an original budget, one that was 15k above what they were planning on using. Then after planning begun, the parents went back on their word and cut the budget in half. It doesn’t matter if the original budget was 40k or 4k, they still went back on a promise and are trying to control OP’s wedding,” one person pointed out.
One person said the bride was “far from entitled.”
“I don’t really think that she’s being entitled if she doesn’t care enough about a dream wedding to just decide to elope if she can’t have what she wants. $25k is really not that much money for a wedding, especially when the initial budget was $41k. I would agree with your assessment if the budget that they had given her was $41k and she planned a $50k wedding and threw a tantrum when they told her they couldn’t, but that’s not what happened.
Traditionally, parents pay for weddings. Her parents make more than enough household income to afford a $25k wedding. And they promised that they would pay for her wedding pretty much all her life. So why is she entitled? She tried to collect on a promise that her parents made to her, and then just decided that she’d rather do her own thing when they started to get flaky and demanding,” they said.
Who do you side with on this one?
