The real estate market is unbelievably hot right now, which is a good thing for people who barely know how to stage their home.
The houses we’re about to feature, courtesy of @badrealestatepics on Instagram, will probably sell thanks to this market. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a chuckle at their expense.
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“WTF is hanging from the ceiling?!”
Unless you’re moving into a brand new build, you’ll have to deal with some of the previous owner’s aesthetic choices. Sometimes, these choices include mysterious fur hanging from the ceiling. It is what it is.
“Brilliant.”
This place is no doubt a bit of a fixer-upper, but I think it’s worth it to put some work into it considering it was clearly Garfield’s childhood home. This should have a heritage plaque out in front.
“This is all time.”
It’s not like you couldn’t put a gym here, it’s more that it’s hardly a gym when the only thing in the room is a trampoline…a trampoline that will lead to broken ceilings if you ever try to use it.
“Remodeled bathroom.”
Carpeted bathrooms are, unfortunately, a thing. With this particular carpeted bathroom, you get to enjoy a small step (and a railing for safety) before you get into the shower. That’s much better than plain old tile, isn’t it?
“Ceiling goals.”
I’ve never put much thought into what my ideal ceiling might look like. All I know is that it wouldn’t look like this. If it did have to look like this, I’d at least make the walls a little less lurid.
“Double oven.”
Having two ovens would actually be useful on occasion. But to follow through and actually install two ovens side by side is utter madness. Apart from the holidays, when would you even use both of these at the same time?
“That works.”
If you haven’t done this at one point or another, you’re either lying or are actually good at home renovations. My point is this: there’s no shame in messing up, but you should at least cover up your mistakes.
“Whoever uploaded this: ‘yeah…no…this is fine.'”
Blinds are one of those functional things that no one gets that excited about. They do their job, and that’s about it. Even though they’re not going to be the deciding factor in someone buying a house, could the realtor have at least fixed them up?
“Two rooms, one smoke detector.”
I guess this is what happens when you put up drywall haphazardly and without the aid of a measuring tape. I’m not sure if this smoke detector is more effective or less effective than normal.
“✌️ ☮️ and ❤️”
It takes a lot of work to set up a light display like this one. I give all the credit in the world to the person who set it up, but have to throw a little shade their way for the spelling.
“‘Great use of space.'”
A built-in oven isn’t a bad idea by any means. But you kind of have to actually build it into something, not let it float on top of the dishwasher. And maybe make your appliances match while you’re at it.
“The ‘4th bathroom.'”
When they say “nature calls,” they don’t mean it literally. It’s one thing to do your business outside when you’re in the middle of nowhere, but this outdoor toilet is in the neighbors’ line of sight.
“Oh look, another superimposed Ferrari. Do we think this is a good strategy?”
This just doesn’t make sense. People who already own a Ferrari don’t need this eye candy, while people who don’t own Ferraris will be less likely to buy one after shelling out for a new house.
“Just keep it there it’s fine.”
It’s amazing how bad some people can be at placing ceiling fans. I guess it’s easier to just slap a fan wherever than to actually measure and find a better spot for one.
“Central AC.”
I’ll give them points for creativity. Unfortunately, I’ll have to take all those points away for safety. Trying to sleep when it’s hot out is tough, but there are easier (and safer) ways to cool your room.
“Festive. But you can’t come in. Unless you have a ladder.”
It’s not terribly uncommon for houses to have doors to nowhere after a balcony is removed. But it does feel a bit strange to dress the door up and draw attention to it like this.
“Urinal in workshop.”
I just know there’s someone out there who thinks this is a prime selling feature. Need to pee while you’re in the middle of work? Just sneak over to the urinal in the corner, no big deal!
“Genius.”
The apartment itself isn’t bad, but there’s no reason to have someone planking in random spots around the place. I guess if anything, it’ll be one of the more memorable listings in the area.
“Beautiful balcony looking over the palatial dining area.”
I don’t know what architect would go ahead with this silly floor plan, because this weird little balcony thing would never, ever get used. I’d probably just use it as a linen closet or something.
“Shower closet.”
There are plenty of things that could’ve gone in this space. A washer/dryer combo. Linens. Even a pantry would look less out of place than a random shower in the middle of the hallway. It probably doesn’t even have good ventilation.
“Jail whoever did this.”
I have to agree with that sentiment. Whoever decided that carpet in the bathroom was a good idea clearly had no taste. All I see is a floor that looks and probably smells like mold.
“Need!”
We take toilets for granted, but their technology truly is a modern model. That doesn’t mean we need toilets to be see-through, though, because that would be kind of gross. Imagine how this would look if you neglected cleaning it.
“Light mold.”
I think the worst thing about this is the fact that people will actually try to sell and rent out homes like this. As if having literal fungi growing out of random corners is just a cute quirk or something.
“You keeping this or updating?”
Individual tastes will always vary, but I think I would keep this, assuming it’s watertight and in good repair. It isn’t often that taking a shower feels like entering some kind of futuristic space portal.
“That’s a hell of a barrier.”
This is definitely in the top 5 of things you don’t want potential buyers seeing when they come to view your home. Don’t let them figure out the neighbors are bad until after the sale goes through.
“A LOT going on here…”
I’m not sure who would want a toilet on a pedestal — a carpeted pedestal at that. I suppose it would be a good fit for a person with very long legs and very bad taste.
“Thoughts?”
Sink fixtures vary greatly from house to house, but usually they still make sense. This one’s a bit confusing, but it’s probably just a matter of tugging on the, uh, balls repeatedly until things start working as intended.
“Pretty in pink.”
When you add it all up, we spend a lot of our time in the bathroom. That means you’re going to want a bathroom that vibes with you. Pepto-Bismol pink isn’t for everyone, but I’m sure it fits some aesthetics.
“Why does this exist?”
I hope someone got this sticker randomly and just slapped it over the first spot they saw. Otherwise, the implications are weird. Are you supposed to kiss the toilet goodnight, or are you supposed to kiss someone immediately after using the toilet?
“Like when you see it.”
This actually looks like a really nice bedroom. So why is it in the list? I don’t want to ruin the surprise, so take a good look for yourself — and remember, always wear a shirt when you’re taking photos in a room with a mirror.
