We make a joke of it but it really is staggering just how quickly arguments can escalate . And whether anyone gets physically hurt or not, what starts as a minor disagreement can end up uncovering some deep-seated issues that change your entire relationship with a person.
And in such cases, it’s often clear that regardless of what some involved in it may try to claim, that argument was never really about the minor thing that started it.
Unfortunately, one such confrontation has put one couple in a very awkward position with some members of their family.
To establish some context, the woman we’re about to hear from gave birth to twins using genetic materials from her wife and a donor.
As she wrote in a Reddit post , “Both kids ended up being practical clones of my wife so it’s pretty clear to everyone who contributed the genetic material.”
This became relevant at a recent barbecue this woman’s in-laws threw when her kids ran into the kitchen where she, her sister-in-law and her mother-in-law were talking and asked if they could have some M&Ms.
Since they were about to eat dinner, the mom said no and that they could once dinner was finished.
However, when dinner time came, the mom discovered that her mother-in-law had given them cups of the candies. This prompted an argument over whether the kids could have them or not, which became heated enough to attract the wife’s attention.
At that point, the mother-in-law said, “I’m saying it’s okay, they aren’t even your kids, they’re [wife’s], just give them the chocolate.”
In the woman’s words, “Wife had MIL repeat herself, and said something like ‘absolutely not, we’re leaving.'”
And just like that, they started packing up to leave.
After this transpired, the barbecue descended into chaos.
The kids were crying because their grandma just said in front of them that their mother wasn’t really their mom, the wife’s grandmother was crying because she thought she would die before she’d see her great-grandchildren again, the father-in-law was screaming at how “disrespectful” the couple was for leaving, and the mother-in-law was crying about her only daughter “abandoning her.”
Although the kids seemed to recover from this shock after a couple of hours, the wife had to spend four hours fielding calls from irate family members.
In response, all heard that the only person who wasn’t allowed to see the kids until she apologized for what she said was the mother-in-law.
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However, as the woman said, “The apology has not happened, but the phone calls of guilt trips, yelling, and crying have not let up.”
While the woman doesn’t feel it’s unreasonable to expect her to apologize for her hurtful remark, she is concerned about the toll this drama is taking on her wife.
However, it seems that Reddit commenters thought she was being far nicer than she needs to simply by insisting on an apology.
As one user said , “Please keep in mind that MIL revealed how she really feels. She genuinely believes her parental rights supersede yours – and if you get some superficial apology, that’s still a pretty lonely and scary place for you to be.”
Another said that for them, an apology would only be a start to the path to forgiveness for both what she said and what that statement implied.
In their words , “Saying that you aren’t your children’s mother, in front of them no less, shows that MIL is not equipped to spend time around them, and she should absolutely not be allowed to see them until she has shown consistent and earnest improvement over a longer period. I don’t think an apology is enough here.”
So rather than being stubborn, it seems this mother-in-law should feel incredibly lucky the woman is only expecting her to apologize.
What do you think? Let us know in the comments!
h/t: Reddit | throwawayaitamil
