Becoming a parent is a joy, but it’s also kind of terrifying. Unless you’ve already had kids, there’s no way to really know what to expect. The best you can do is prepare as much as you can.
Reddit user Kookiebanookie asked for advice after finding out that his girlfriend was pregnant. While he did later explain that she, unfortunately, lost the pregnancy, the thread is still full of amazing tips for him, as well as other fathers-to-be.
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“Get this book: The Expectant Father.”
“I’ve gone through several first time dad books and they all treat you like an idiot except this one. I found the majority of the information super helpful and interesting . My wife loved that I was as interested in what’s happening to her and the baby as she was.”
“Aside from the book, be attentive to her. Don’t be afraid to ask her if there’s anything you can do to help or make her feel more comfortable.”
“If she’s feeling nauseous, go out of your way to find things that will help. Don’t even ask if she wants you to get it, just research and pick some stuff up for her. Look up some prenatal massage techniques to help ease her discomfort.”
“Better yet, look up professional massage places near you that offer prenatal massage.”
“Ultimately, just putting in effort to help her and to prepare yourselves for this big change is going to go a long way. Congratulations, bud!” – Via robbleshaver
“Dad of 4 here. Preemptively plan for supplies that are needed, and be active in jumping in and assisting with things you’re able to do.”
“There will be a period of time when you’re pushed a bit away and a lot of guys take that personally when they’re used to being front and center. Embrace the support role, don’t demand anything of your partner but give 110%.”
“Be the first to change the diaper, jump up to wash bottles and restock towels and blankets.”
“Childbirth is exhausting on a level we will never understand, now is the time to embrace that support role and expect nothing back and be totally ok with it. It could last longer than you think, but a good dad and partner is the rock the mom and baby can stand on. Be that and love it.” – Via OkayOkay777
“Before she goes back to work, after the kid goes to bed always spend at least 5 minutes just talking to her.”
“Locked in the house with a newborn is stressful as fuck, add in no other deal human interaction – PPD is real as s***. Talk to her, have an adult convo and LISTEN.”
“Make an effort to attend doctors appointments, take the kiddo out and give her a break.”
“And don’t be afraid to screw up, my first time holding a baby was in the operating room with my first son. You will see how fast you grow up and enjoy it.” – Via Jazzlike-Blueberry65
“Save your money. Take care of her. Let your families buy all the baby stuff.”
“Get your s*** together. Figure out your finances. Get your drinking in check. Be ready to put your life on pause. Work on the you stuff. Your temper, your moods. Be prepared to put a lot of people first ahead of yourself.” – Via knowitallz
“Just do it!”
“Clean that room, cook dinner, do the shopping, (later) change the diapers, bath the baby, etc. Don’t wait for her to ask or don’t ask ‘what needs done?’ You know what needs done so do it.” – Via Nic4379
“Try to make sure y’all get your own time.”
“Draw her a bath while you do whatever, get her a massage while you hang with your boys etc. But always ALWAYS make time for her. For emotional and physical support.”
“I’d usually make my lady dinner…”
“…and then run tummy butter on her belly (helps prevent stretch marks and is soothing for her and the baby) and read up on fathering as much as you can young man. God speed and good luck!” – Via Mountain_Jello7747
“I am a 23F and would consider my dad one of my best friends. Here is what he did to facilitate that:”
“He let me learn by making my own mistakes. He never told me not to do something(unless it was life or death lol). Whether it was riding a bike a certain way, making my own rope swing, or making a bad impulse purchase, he let me learn through experience instead of through his control.”
“He trusted me. I never got the overprotective dad vibe from him.”
“He was kind to my boyfriends as he trusted my judgement. I went to Europe by myself when I was 19 with him on call whenever I needed him instead of helicopter parenting.
“I did some dangerous things, and he never stopped me, but was always there for me if I needed him, while letting me take responsibility for my own decisions. I guess this kind of goes with my first point.”
“He spent a lot of quality time with me and took interest in my interests.”
“He was a parent chaperone on my elementary school field trips, he cooks with me, and whenever I wanted to try a new project or hobby he would help me with it, along with inviting me to participate in his hobbies, like photography and mead-making.”
“He never held anything against me.”
“He never prescribed me gender roles. He encouraged and supported me in following my own career goals. He was patient and loved me unconditionally. Still does.” – Via pink_ammonia
This just shows how attentive parenting can make all the difference.
“My wife and I are having our first kid in Nov.”
“Once thing I kept bugging her to do was take a bath. My theory was it’ll help take some of the weight off her hips. Well she finally took one and felt fantastic after and now she’s having more.
“So baths is my input.” Via Vegetable_Sector_316
“Get married. Don’t ever cheat.”
“Be really, really good to each other all the time. Start early teaching your kid letters, sounds, numbers, addition, subtraction, etc. Make it part of the games you play.” Via – TubeToUranus
Other commenters agreed that marriage is a good idea for legal, financial purposes, when it comes to having a kid.
“Take a hundred pictures of her with the baby.”
“As a mom, I can tell you my son has millions of pictures with every family member and friend and maybe three of them are with me.” – Via sanguinepsychologist
“Go to EVERYTHING! Get a GoPro and video EVERYTHING.”
“I’m doing this with my nephews because my dad did it with me and my sister. We always knew how proud he was of us. It sounds like your heart’s in the right place. You’ll be good.” – Via Moarkush
“Expect the unexpected.”
“Be prepared for not being prepared. Relax, everything is going to be fine.” – Via ethylalcohoe
This might be the simplest piece of advice in the thread, but it also feels like it might be one of the most important.
