The holidays are upon us which means Christmas is right around the corner. It’s a time for family, a time for lights, and apparently — a time for some truly disturbing decorations.
Below are 15 accidentally NSFW Christmas decorations that are sure to help make the season merry and bright. If not, it will definitely give you something to chuckle about as you roast chestnuts around the fire.
Have a very crappy Christmas.
Mr. Hankey , is that you? Was this photo perhaps taken in the greater Colorado area? I’m just grasping at straws, trying to come up with some explanation as to why a mall would choose to decorate a giant pile of [expletive].
Whoever did this store’s merchandising should be fired.
It seems to me that someone was trying to be a little Grinchy and get back at the powers-that-be by arranging an especially naughty Polar Bear scene. And why does the one look like a giant jacked mouse?
Christmas came early this year.
Come on, you know I had to go there! This is why you should never decorate a palm tree during the holiday season. If you happen to live in a climate that doesn’t happen to have evergreen trees, just buy a fake one!
The wreath from Hell.
This wreath looks exactly like the one from Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas . You know, the one that tries to eat all the inhabitants of the house? I feel like this thing is going to start moving if I look away.
Are those supposed to be Christmas trees or….
I can’t be the only one who sees it — right? Also, is the holiday shop sure that they didn’t get a box of inventory sent to them by mistake? If there happens to be a sex shop in that plaza, I know who I’d be calling.
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On second thought, I’ll have the French toast.
Well, I think it’s safe to say that I won’t be enjoying the light, delicious, fluffy taste of pancakes any time soon. This is why you should always have an extra set of eyes to look over your work.
On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
Four giant pairs of electric panties! Seriously though, did these actually come like this or did the person stringing the lights really just not care? These lights will definitely get people in the mood, albeit not for Christmas.
Santa, you animal!
Santa did what now? He shat in the hat?! Boy, I don’t know about you but that to me sounds like the beginning of a poorly written Dr. Sess rip-off book. Why do I have a feeling that they’ll be extras come the new year?
Santa’s chimney is getting a real workout.
Santa is looking tired and worn down and for good reason, too! If you had a bunch of strange kids crawling in and out of your chimney all day, you’d probably be a little worse for the wear yourself.
It’s not what you think it is.
Be honest: how many of you thought that it was a giant toe, instead of a baby Jesus ornament the first time around? Did the artist perhaps run out of paint? Because brown on brown just isn’t working.
Headless snowmen or Santa’s bag of toys?
I’m still not entirely convinced as to what these are. Yes, I see that they’re meant to be sacks of toys but you can’t tell me that they don’t also look like headless snowmen.
These Santas are sending the wrong kind of message.
I don’t mean to paint a glib or morose picture, especially around Christmas time, but these Santas look like they just took a long walk off of a short pier — if you know what I mean.
Is that a corn cob pipe in your pocket?
Wow, a human-snowman-centipede — what will they come up with next?! I know that sounds crude, but is it really that big of a reach?! Just look at those satisfied grins on their smug little faces!
Whoever said you can’t buy your way onto the nice list clearly wasn’t trying hard enough.
I really don’t think there’s anything ambiguous or open to interpretation with this one: those elves are indeed having their candy canes tended to in what looks like a very NSFW way.
What exactly still seeks him?
It’s supposed to say “Wisemen still seek him.” But as you can clearly see — it doesn’t. Ironically enough, this is the kind of thing I’d expect to find on my nana’s front porch. She’d be totally oblivious, too.
