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Mom Conflicted After Special Needs Girl ‘Ruined’ Her Daughter’s Birthday Party

by Daniel Mitchell-Benoit
5 years ago
in People & Society
Reading Time: 4 mins read
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Parties of any kind can be precarious things. When certain events don’t go as planned, it can throw the whole day off for everyone, which never feels fun.

This happened to one girl’s birthday party after her mom suggested that she invite a classmate that had special needs. A few things didn’t go too smoothly, and now the girl’s mother doesn’t know where to go from here.

When your child has a birthday party, you want to make sure it’s as special as can be.

Image credit: Unsplash | Brooke Lark
Unsplash | Brooke Lark

After all, it’s their day! They ought to celebrate it how they want, with their friends close by and fun times to be had for all.

That’s exactly what one mother wanted for her daughter, but the party, unfortunately, went awry. In the aftermath, one mother took to Reddit to see if she did the right thing.

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It all began when one of her daughter’s original guests said they couldn’t make it.

Image credit: Unsplash | Element5 Digital
Unsplash | Element5 Digital

In their place, she suggested that her daughter invite Molly. Molly is a classmate of her daughter’s who has cerebral palsy as well as some other developmental delays. Molly’s mother had admitted to the author that Molly had a hard time making friends lately, so she thought getting her daughter to invite her would be a nice gesture.

Her daughter agreed, not knowing how it would affect the night.

Image credit: Unsplash | DesignClass
Unsplash | DesignClass

The party itinerary was pizza for dinner, then a double feature at the local drive-in theater, then a games night and sleepover back at her house.

“While Molly seemed to be [a very] sweet kid, she was absolutely awful at the party. She cried when [we] didn’t get a pizza with her favorite toppings, and then stole the first slice of cake meant for my daughter,” the author wrote.

It didn’t get much better from there, unfortunately.

Image credit: Unsplash | Marco Albuquerque
Unsplash | Marco Albuquerque

“Things got worse at the movie. The first movie ( Cruella ) was too scary for Molly and she started freaking out and crying multiple times throughout the movie. I tried to calm her down, […] but she was inconsolable. […] Eventually we ended up having to leave before the second movie( Black Widow ), which was the movie my daughter really wanted to see.

The mom tried to contact Molly’s mother, but couldn’t get an answer.

Image credit: Unsplash | Marcos Paulo Prado
Unsplash | Marcos Paulo Prado

And even after the movies, matters didn’t improve. “That night at our house things still got worse,” she wrote. “Molly threw a Wii remote after she lost at Just Dance, and didn’t want to play any of the games the other girls did.”

Molly still stayed the night, though, and was picked up early the next morning.

Image credit: Unsplash | Meg Boulden
Unsplash | Meg Boulden

The author said that her daughter was feeling pretty bad about how the party went, so she offered to take her and her friends to see Black Widow in theaters without Molly.

However, her husband’s reaction to that idea left her feeling conflicted.

Her partner said he thinks it’s a real “jerk move.”

“[…] He pointed out that sometimes life isn’t fair and things get ruined,” she wrote. “He also doesn’t think it’s a good idea to show our daughter it’s ok to exclude people who are different.”

She wasn’t sure if she was making the right call here and asked for some outside opinions.

Many in the replies agreed that she was not making a bad call here.

Image credit: Unsplash | Marc Fanelli-Isla
Unsplash | Marc Fanelli-Isla

“You’re not ‘re-doing’ the birthday to exclude Molly. You’re taking your daughter and friends out for pizza, and to see a movie they really want to see but Molly doesn’t,” wrote one comment.

,

Another commenter elaborated, turning this into a teaching moment.

“Let her know you are doing this for her as an extra gift in part because you are proud of her kindness and good behavior last weekend,” the wrote. “And tell the other girls you appreciate their being kind to Molly too […] This is a good learning experience for them all.”

Though it was unfortunate that the initial party was ruined, the gesture still meant a lot to Molly.

Image credit: Unsplash | Felipe Santana
Unsplash | Felipe Santana

Molly’s mom said that Molly couldn’t stop talking about how much fun she had at the party, and with the second party planned for the author’s daughter, everyone is sure to have their happy ending.

What do you think of the situation? How would you have handled it? Let us know in the comments!

Tags: People & Society

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