While every parent’s experience is a little different, there are enough major similarities that the statement “parenting is hard” is likely to receive almost universal support among them.
And there’s no telling when that will be true in a parent’s life as some will eagerly await the day when they no longer have to wake up at 3 am because the baby’s crying, while others will wish their child could stay a baby forever.
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But since being a parent is often so difficult, it can be tempting for parents to feel as though their kids owe them for all the struggles they went through raising them.
However, that’s a bubble that one mom clearly feels it’s important to burst.
Be advised that the video featured in this article contains explicit language.
As soon as she began recording her TikTok video, a woman who goes by Lisa P. figured, “I’m about to piss some people off.”
And that prediction was informed by the fact that a previous video about setting boundaries with her mother seemed to attract a large number of comments saying, “You should be grateful for everything your mother’s done for you.”
While she felt that setting those boundaries in no way suggested that she didn’t love her mother or appreciate what she had done, those replies led her to make a further point about parent-child dynamics.
And that was that children don’t owe their parents “a certain kind of relationship.”
As she went to say, “Depending on the parent, they might not owe them respect either because that [expletive] is reciprocal.”
And she considers this especially true once that child grows to adulthood because by then, they’re independent people with their own values, goals, and personalities.
She also stated that all the parental actions that might make people feel their children owe them are just part of the responsibility of parenthood.
She described it as the job that parents signed up for and that just because not everyone “rises to the occasion,” that doesn’t mean that feeding, clothing, and sheltering children stop being the bare minimum for what a parent is supposed to do.
But even if a parent also works to fulfill their children’s emotional needs, the woman said, “You’re not loving and providing for your children with the expectation that they will blindly obey and do whatever you say as adults.”
And while she figures that kids who are raised by parents who don’t have this expectation are more likely to maintain their relationships with them as adults, there’s never any guarantee that this will happen.
Because as she’s discussed with her husband about her own kids, nobody gets to pick who their kids are.
As she put it, “Is there a chance that they’re completely not like us and don’t ever want to talk to us again? I hope not but it’s possible.”
Before you decide on whether you agree with Lisa P or not, it may help to watch the full video here.
