Parents often want the best for their children, thus acting in “intrusive” ways that end up causing friction between them. It’s never easy for a parent to see their child suffer; when that happens, they typically find ways to ease the pain.
One of the hardest parts of growing up for involved parents is dealing with growing up, and maturity as their children discover themselves. This Reddit user faced a dilemma when discovering her daughter was a bullying victim in freshman class.
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It didn’t help that the bullies highlighted a non-issue and turned her daughter into a shell of herself.
Read Am I The A-Hole for more information.
Learning About The Painful Experience
All The Things She Did Wrong
The mother discovered her youngest daughter didn’t want to go to school to avoid bullies who fat-shamed her. She learned the news from her older daughter, Eliza, a sophomore. Unfortunately, she broke Eliza’s trust when she called Paige (the bullied daughter) fat in a roundabout way.
Yelling that she shouldn’t turn to food due to stress indirectly reinforced her child’s belief that the bullies were right. Although that much was obvious, she still asked Reddit users to judge the matter because she needed confirmation.
She submitted two points where she felt like a jerk – when she yelled at Paige for wanting Oreos and when Eliza called her out for her hypocrisy.
Other Redditors shared their thoughts and told her she was a bad mother for not knowing Paige was bullied (the signs were there) and confirming Paige’s fears.
OP Reinforced The Negative Thoughts
OP Broke Her Older Daughter’s Trust
Being Chubby Is A Natural Part Of Development
It’s Time To See A Therapist
The first and topmost comment detailed reasons for calling the original poster (OP) a jerk. They also reminded her that dieting takes months and sometimes years to show results, so it’s out of the question, or at the very least, not the primary concern.
Her primary concern should be going to the school to address the principal about the bullies. Ask to see their parents and make it a big deal because accommodating bullying is never okay.
Rather than lash out at her daughter, the OP could’ve bought the Oreos and used it as an excuse to chat with Paige. Ask her if she’s willing to talk rather than demand a conversation from the young girl.
Now that things are beyond that point, the next best thing is seeing a therapist who might encourage Paige to open up.
