Raising children and a family can be a trying and stressful time in any parent’s life. When you have several children and have to make sure everyone is happy and taken care of, there can be some trials along the way. Some parents try, no matter what, but still can’t make everyone happy.
Parenting is sometimes a complicated task that there aren’t concrete answers for.
One mom wrote into Reddit seeking some advice about her daughter.
The mom said that she has three children , ages 15, 12, and 9. Her 15-year-old daughter had recently decided that she wanted to become a vegan.
This puts a big wedge between her two sons, herself, her husband, and her daughter, as she explains her family members are basically “omnivores.”
The mom said that her daughter’s decision is also financially hurting their family.
“My partner works full time, and I work part time and am pursuing a 2nd bachelor’s at adult age. Combined with 3 kids, we’re BUSY. As I’ve also cut work hours to be able to study again, our income has also somewhat declined,” she said.
She also explained that buying all-natural and organic food is costly, and hurting their family budget.
The mom also said it takes a lot of time she currently does not have.
“Neither in terms of time management nor money, do I feel like essentially cooking two meals daily is a not a reasonable thing to ask.
Adding to that, vegan cuisine just requires a different approach to cooking (different ingredients) etc. Frankly, with all the things going on right now, it’s not high on my priority list to re-learn how to cook. If I would just buy extra vagan food for her, it would certainly dent the budget,” she explained.
So, the mom said she would compromise with her daughter.
“I offered that we would make a meat/fish and vegetarian (not vegan) version of each dish. That way she would not have to eat meat, at least, but we could just keep cooking many of the dishes we already do without much added effort.
Additionally, I said I’d be willing to have one “vegan day” where she can experiment with making vegan dishes for all of us,” she said.
The mom said once she’s 18 with her own money and job, she can do as she pleases.
“Then, if she’s 18 and has her own budget, and still feels that way, she can buy the food with her own budget and cook for herself,” she added to the post.
She asked Reddit users if she was wrong for “not cooking vegan” every single day for her now-vegan daughter.
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Many said this mom was “not wrong” because she really was offering reasonable compromises for her daughter.
“You’ve offered more than reasonable accommodations to your daughter. While I totally respect your daughter’s desire to take part in that lifestyle for moral reasons, it’s just not feasible for you and your partner to bear all the responsibility for fostering it with all you have going on,” one person said.
Others said the daughter is “old enough” to cook for herself.
“She’s 15 and should be well able to cook for her self and also if she wants to make adult choices then she should have to consider adult issues such as budgets.
If she can get a job and purchase her own food to suit her choices then thats fine but it is unreasonable of her to insist that she is accommodated when it will impact others in the house hold,” one person commented.
However, others said that the mom was totally wrong for her stance.
“If you let her make her own food and she still relied on you to cook then it would be a different story. Eating vegan can be very cheap and there are so many alternatives that are as cheap as dairy products (butter being one of them).
Being vegetarian and being vegan are two completely different things and forcing her to be vegetarian and having one “vegan” day is an issue,” another added to the thread.
Another added that the mom is hurting her daughter.
“If you can’t offer some vegan option she will not have healthy meals (she will eat bread or something like that, I know what I’m talking about).
Also she will resent you. You should encourage her for making ethical choices. It’s your responsibility as a parent to feed her, it’s not more expensive, you could cook veggies and beans separately at least,” someone else chimed in.
Who do you think is in the wrong here?
