Sex is a powerful thing. It defines our romantic relationships, occupies our minds, and quite literally helps to shape the world around us. Sex is our reality and our reality is sex.
But what exactly does that mean? Below is a collection of couples who each decided to spill their own unique sex-life secrets. So as Salt-N-Pepa once famously said: let’s talk about sex , baby.
Absence makes the heart grow hornier.
“We currently live 1,000 miles apart. Going on two years long distance. We call and talk often and support each other through bad days with loving texts. We make up for the lack of regular sex when we visit each other.” – Reddit u/Turpsalot
“We’re both asexual, so there are really no issues. Been together for almost two years now!” – Reddit u/dishsoap04
So long as it works for the two of you and you’re happy! Sex doesn’t always have to be the defining factor in a relationship.
Something to think about…
“Wife and I both grew up with pretty unhealthy relationships with sex. I think rather than let our walls down to others, we built them up by focusing on the physical aspects of intimacy and ignoring the nurturing of the actual relationship.” – Reddit u/PiIICIinton
There’s no such thing as a taboo subject among lovers.
Redditor Queasy-Quantity-8273 says that they’re incredibly open about sex and sexuality with their partner. They freely discuss what porn they enjoy, as well as what elements they’d like to introduce into the bedroom.
Togetherness is what really counts.
“We both have low libidos for different reasons, but it works out to make us compatible. We find more value in the amount of time we spend together versus what we’re specifically doing.” – Reddit u/ValuableLemon
“We’re best friends with low sex drives who prefer to cuddle instead of getting all sweaty.” – Reddit u/tubemode4
I mean, there are worse things to get all sweaty for but I can empathize from a position of cleanliness… I suppose. Whatever floats your boat.
Sometimes an open relationship can work.
“My partner and I have been in a long-distance relationship over the last six years. We decided to keep our relationship open so that we can satisfy our needs as we need.” – Reddit u/bearyconfessional
“He’s recovering from being in a religious cult that hammered into his brain that sex was wrong/only to be used for conception.” – Reddit u/njj258
I can’t even begin to imagine the kind of trauma this person must have been made to endure. All I can say is that I wish you the best and genuinely hope you have fun breaking the habit.
Uninterested but not selfish.
“My husband has a high libido and mine is low, likely because of trauma and abuse. Luckily, that doesn’t really mess with my mouth, so we get creative. He also doesn’t take more than 10 minutes.” – Reddit u/Ahzelton
Just because you share a diminished sex drive, doesn’t mean that you don’t love each other.
Reddit user 13lueChicken said that they have sex maybe once a month with their partner, if at all. They explained how they’re both content with the level of physicality, and that each sexual act renews their love and dedication to one another.
If you want something done right…
“The sex is amazing when we have it every couple of weeks, and better than it’s ever been after 20 years. It’s not frequent enough for me, but my spouse knows I watch porn and take care of myself, and doesn’t care.” – Reddit u/Wotia7
How do you know when enough is enough?
According to Redditor kd3906, both they and their partner have had enough sex to last multiple lifetimes. Their relationship is at a comfortable and secure enough spot where it isn’t contingent upon sex.
The reality of the situation is that sex doesn’t always last forever.
“Health issues, for both, have dramatically changed our sex life to the point where it is almost nonexistent. And you know what? I am actually okay with that. TBH, I didn’t marry him for sex. I married him because he was my best friend.” – Reddit u/Tbjkbe
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“The sex was never great anyway. I’d rather have no sex than bad sex.” – Reddit u/throw_it_away_alan
I’m going to have to wholeheartedly disagree with this user. Sex is like pizza: there is no bad. Rather, there are just varying degrees of good. Plus, maybe with a little work, things can get better in time?
An open dialogue is key.
“My wife is asexual. I’m hypersexual. So we opened our relationship. We get all the love and companionship at home, and I go to a swingers club for the sex.” – Reddit u/Conchobar8
