One thing that often comes up in stories of interpersonal conflict is that people who try to embarrass their partners in front of family always seem to act like they’re the victim when it backfires on them.
Whether their problem exists within the couple or concerns another family member , they always accuse the people they’ve wronged of humiliating them in front of their families. And either they apparently don’t realize that they were right in the middle of trying to do it themselves or they wanted to keep a long-standing issue under wraps so they don’t actually have to address it.
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And as we’ll see in a particularly strange case of this phenomenon, it often doesn’t take outside observers long to see right through them and worry about how toxic a relationship with that person must be.
After the new mom we’re about to hear from had her daughter, she described the experience as traumatic.
As she explained in a Reddit post , this was not only because she was in pain for many hours, but also because she was embarrassed at the fact that she pooped herself during birth.
Although most commenters quickly told her this is very common and nothing to be embarrassed about, it didn’t take long to figure out why it remained so embarrassing for her after the fact.
Namely, that her husband won’t stop making jokes about it at her expense.
And despite the fact that her family didn’t find the situation any funnier than she did, he kept making a habit of joknig about getting her diapers for her “oopsies.”
As she said, “It got really tiring and chipped away from my self-esteem and confidence.” It also didn’t stop despite repeated attempts to talk to him about it.
And when he made another one after she got up to go to the bathroom while they were celebrating New Year’s Eve with his family, the woman reached her limit.
So she called him a cruel, insensitive jerk for continuing to humiliate her about the painful experience of birthing their child, which left him and his family stunned into silence.
That is, until the couple left and he started an argument, saying that she shouldn’t have talked to him like that in front of his family.
And when she told him that she couldn’t hold her tongue anymore after his pattern of making these jokes, he said they were just jokes and that she overreacted to them.
He also said that she should have waited until they got home, where she could yell at him about it all she wanted.
In the woman’s words, “He even said I should’ve laughed along, not fly off the handle like that.”
And as far as the commenters who reassured her that her experience wasn’t anything to be ashamed of were concerned, this came off as a clear manipulation tactic on his part.
And as some pointed out, he also seemed to imply that he was the only one who isn’t allowed to be publicly humiliated.
As one user said , “His idea of ‘not embarrassing him’ is pretending your feelings don’t exist even when he deliberately embarrassed you, just so he doesn’t have to lose face by being held accountable for his crappy treatment of you.”
In the words of another person, “If you had addressed this in private he would’ve said the same thing: you’re emotional and overreacting. He did it in front of his parents and family to corner you.”
h/t: Reddit | No-Care3049
