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    Dad carrying child on his shoulders (Unsplash | Kelly Sikkema)

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15 Kids Who Roasted Their Parents So Well

by Jordan Claes
3 years ago
in Kids & Teens, People & Society
Reading Time: 4 mins read
A A
Unsplash | Helena Lopes

Unsplash | Helena Lopes

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They say that out of the mouths of babes comes divine wisdom . But any parent will tell you, more often than not, their sharp-tongued offspring have the ability to bring you to your knees.

Sometimes, kids have the capability to even surprise their parents with what they might say. So have a look below and check out these 15 kids who roasted their parents perfectly .

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I don’t recall asking for your opinion?

Umm, first of all — who in the hell asked you? Don’t forget that I have entire photo albums of embarrassing photos of you and I’m not afraid to use them when the time comes.

Holy Spirit, activate.

First and foremost wrinkles are a badge of honor. Secondly, if I do have them (and I’m not saying that I do) it’s because I’ve spent the last 18 years of my life taking care of you!

If you need me, I’ll be crying into my pillow for the next couple of hours.

Image credit: Giphy | Rachael Kay Albers
Giphy | Rachael Kay Albers

“And on my next podcast episode of why I stopped having kids after this one: I had my hair in a ponytail and my son walked in the room and said, ‘Ewww Mommy take your hair down , it makes your face look like the moon.’”

What am I, chopped liver?

That’s so ironic because I used to have adult friends — until I had you. So why don’t you and your newfound friends go do something productive for a change; like playing in traffic, for example?

Thanks, I hadn’t noticed.

Don’t you just love how kids have this sixth sense for being able to identify your greatest insecurity, and then throw it in your face when you’re least expecting it? Yeah, kids sure are great.

Telling it like it is.

I’m not sure if you’re trying to be a smart alec or you’re just plain dumb, but either way, I won’t tolerate that kind of behavior! Now go to your room so I can cry into my pillow in peace.

That’s quite the creative insult.

Of course, it’s not OK to let a child get away with insulting anyone. But when they do it with all the wit and witticism of your favorite stand-up comedian, you can’t help but be proud.

That’s so unnecessarily specific.

It would’ve been bad enough to say that I look like ET. Why did you have to go and twist the knife you just stuck into my back; for sport? Is that the kind of person I’ve raised you to be?!

Should I say thank you?

Oddly enough, that’s not the most insulting comparison I’ve ever heard about my snoring. You’re mother usually likes to say that I sound like a dump truck driving full speed through a nitro-glycerine plant.

Don’t expect a tip, young lady.

Image credit: Giphy | Red Table Talk
Giphy | Red Table Talk

“5 asked me to come to her hairdressing salon, put some accessories in my hair then looked at me and said ‘well your hair looks good now but I don’t know what we can do with your face .’ Worst hairdresser I’ve been to, do not recommend.” – Twitter @MumInBits

You couldn’t have chosen a worse adjective.

I beg your pardon, but what part of me do you think is “saggy”? For the record, before you came along, my body was as pristine as a Russian ballerina, so if you see anything you don’t like — it’s all because of you.

Why be mad when you can get even?

Image credit: Giphy
Giphy

“My son just said he’s going to call me ‘Squishy’ to match my stomach and now I need to have another kid just so I can have a favorite.” – Twitter @KateWouldHaveIt

Just so you know, you’re grounded for life.

What the heck did I ever do to you? I’ll remember that unprovoked attack the next time I have to drop you off at school, young man. I swear, I’m going to embarrass you so badly, you’ll be in therapy until you’re 40.

A child’s imagination knows no bounds.

Just when you thought that your kids had exhausted all avenues of insults, they go and pull this one out of the hat. I’m so curious what it was about the signature that was so distasteful?

It stings, even more, when it’s not your kid.

Image credit: Giphy | ThreeUK
Giphy | ThreeUK

“i[sic] remember once i was having a bad acne outbreak and my 5 year old[sic] neighbor came over as she always did and her first words to me were ‘ what’s wrong with your face ?'” – Twitter @f00dventuresRD

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