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Grandma’s Surgery Dilemma: Putting Herself First or Helping Her Daughter?

by Diply Social Team
1 year ago
in Family
Reading Time: 15 mins read
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Imagine being a supermom and Nana, always there for your daughter and grandkids, only to face a dilemma that could leave your daughter in a financial and work-related bind. Our 50-year-old protagonist is in this exact situation, as she needs surgery on her foot, which will leave her unable to help her daughter for three weeks. With her daughter being a single mom and the sole provider, she can’t afford to take time off from work. Friends and family are advising her to put her needs first for once, but the guilt is eating her alive. Will she go through with the surgery and leave her daughter to figure things out? Let’s dive into this emotional rollercoaster!

Super Mom & Nana to the Rescue! ‍ ‍

Image credit: HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine
HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine

Close-Knit Family Living ️

Image credit: HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine
HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine

Nana’s Duties

Image credit: HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine
HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine

Foot Surgery Dilemma

Image credit: HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine
HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine

Achilles Tendon Troubles

Image credit: HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine
HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine

Post-Surgery Limitations

Image credit: HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine
HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine

Daughter’s Work Dilemma ⏰

Image credit: HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine
HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine

Financial Struggles

Image credit: HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine
HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine

Friends & Husband’s Advice ️

Image credit: HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine
HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine

Feeling Guilty

Image credit: HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine
HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine

Surgery Date Approaching

Image credit: HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine
HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine

Perfect Timing for Me ⏳

Image credit: HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine
HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine

The Big Question ❓

Image credit: HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine
HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine

Relieved by Opinions

Image credit: HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine
HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine

Surgery & Recovery Tips

Image credit: HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine
HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine

Not Setting Myself on Fire

Image credit: HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine
HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine

Thankful for Support

Image credit: HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine
HeyBudddyThatsMine | HeyBudddyThatsMine

Super Nana’s Surgery Showdown!

Our 50-year-old supermom and Nana is facing a tough decision: go through with her much-needed foot surgery and leave her single-mom daughter without childcare for three weeks, or postpone her surgery and continue to help her daughter. With her daughter unable to afford taking time off from work, the pressure is on. Friends and family are telling her to put her needs first, but the guilt is overwhelming. Will she choose her own well-being or continue to prioritize her daughter’s needs? Let’s see what the internet thinks of this heart-wrenching situation…

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Prioritize your health. Your daughter can find childcare alternatives.

Image credit: Far-Juggernaut8880 | Far-Juggernaut8880
Far-Juggernaut8880 | Far-Juggernaut8880

Sassy commenter shuts down grandma’s surgery dilemma with humor

Image credit: Scary-Common499 | Scary-Common499
Scary-Common499 | Scary-Common499

User advises grandma to put herself first and not feel guilty. NTA

Image credit: DJ4116 | DJ4116
DJ4116 | DJ4116

Supportive commenter offers surgery tips and advice for recovery.

Image credit: No-Yesterday-5822 | No-Yesterday-5822
No-Yesterday-5822 | No-Yesterday-5822

Orthopedic nurse advises grandma to prioritize Achilles surgery. NTA.

Image credit: Crafty_Cha0s_ | Crafty_Cha0s_
Crafty_Cha0s_ | Crafty_Cha0s_

Prioritizing grandma’s surgery over daughter’s reliance: tough love

Image credit: No_Astronaut2795 | No_Astronaut2795
No_Astronaut2795 | No_Astronaut2795

NTA: Taking care of yourself is not selfish

Image credit: SaltyDangerHands | SaltyDangerHands
SaltyDangerHands | SaltyDangerHands

Put yourself first, grandma! You’re NTA for not babysitting.

Image credit: EKGEMS | EKGEMS
EKGEMS | EKGEMS

Neighbor’s experience shows importance of getting surgery ASAP. NTA.

Image credit: Smarterthntheavgbear | Smarterthntheavgbear
Smarterthntheavgbear | Smarterthntheavgbear

Resourceful advice for a breakfast solution

Image credit: DataAdvanced | DataAdvanced
DataAdvanced | DataAdvanced

Prioritizing self-care over guilt is healthy and necessary

Image credit: galaxy_defender_4 | galaxy_defender_4
galaxy_defender_4 | galaxy_defender_4

Putting yourself first is not selfish. You’re NTA for prioritizing.

Image credit: ProbablyNotADuck | ProbablyNotADuck
ProbablyNotADuck | ProbablyNotADuck

User suggests finding friends to help with childcare.

Image credit: Upper-Substance3868 | Upper-Substance3868
Upper-Substance3868 | Upper-Substance3868

Putting her daughter first or being able to walk? NTA

Image credit: Rizoulo | Rizoulo
Rizoulo | Rizoulo

NTA. Have your surgery. Your daughter needs to figure out how to handle this.

Image credit: Shot_Construction455 | Shot_Construction455
Shot_Construction455 | Shot_Construction455

Put your oxygen mask on first. YNTA for prioritizing yourself.

Image credit: Ridiculina | Ridiculina
Ridiculina | Ridiculina

Sensible advice on being a NTA grandma post-surgery

Image credit: Adorable-Reaction887 | Adorable-Reaction887
Adorable-Reaction887 | Adorable-Reaction887

Prioritizing family over oneself can have serious consequences.

Image credit: msBuddiez101 | msBuddiez101
msBuddiez101 | msBuddiez101

Don’t let anyone guilt-trip you for prioritizing your health!

Image credit: Kitchen_Victory_7964 | Kitchen_Victory_7964
Kitchen_Victory_7964 | Kitchen_Victory_7964

Put yourself first! Don’t feel guilty, NTAH.

Image credit: Professional_Sir2825 | Professional_Sir2825
Professional_Sir2825 | Professional_Sir2825

Don’t feel bad for putting yourself first. NTA!

Image credit: tired-and-cranky | tired-and-cranky
tired-and-cranky | tired-and-cranky

Prioritize surgery now, NTA for taking care of yourself first.

Image credit: SkyBlueTomato | SkyBlueTomato
SkyBlueTomato | SkyBlueTomato

Recovering from surgery should be your ONLY focus. NTA

Image credit: GiantDwarf01 | GiantDwarf01
GiantDwarf01 | GiantDwarf01

Putting yourself first is important. You’re a blessed grandmother

Image credit: draynaccarato | draynaccarato
draynaccarato | draynaccarato

Don’t let your daughter make you feel guilty about surgery

Image credit: No-Pen-3152 | No-Pen-3152
No-Pen-3152 | No-Pen-3152

Heartwarming reply encouraging self-care and family support. ❤

Image credit: Far_Nefariousness773 | Far_Nefariousness773
Far_Nefariousness773 | Far_Nefariousness773

Put yourself first, grandma! NTA, the grandkids are not yours

Image credit: aurora4000 | aurora4000
aurora4000 | aurora4000

Don’t delay the surgery, prioritize your own health first

Image credit: InterestingExit6696 | InterestingExit6696
InterestingExit6696 | InterestingExit6696

Put yourself first, NTA. Daughter needs alternative measures.

Image credit: Expensive-Air-2146 | Expensive-Air-2146
Expensive-Air-2146 | Expensive-Air-2146

Putting your health at risk for others is not okay

Image credit: Rare-Progress5009 | Rare-Progress5009
Rare-Progress5009 | Rare-Progress5009

Put yourself first. Your health is a priority

Image credit: noonecaresat805 | noonecaresat805
noonecaresat805 | noonecaresat805

Surgery first, daughter later. You’re NTA, let it go.

Image credit: Murderbunny13 | Murderbunny13
Murderbunny13 | Murderbunny13

Surgery dilemma prompts helpful suggestions for childcare arrangements.

Image credit: Lovely_FISH_34 | Lovely_FISH_34
Lovely_FISH_34 | Lovely_FISH_34

Daughter needs to grow up and find a backup plan

Image credit: Alibeee64 | Alibeee64
Alibeee64 | Alibeee64

Prioritizing your health is crucial. NTA, take care first!

Image credit: Just_Me1973 | Just_Me1973
Just_Me1973 | Just_Me1973

Mother prioritizes work over dropping off her child at school

Image credit: RokRD | RokRD
RokRD | RokRD

Put your health first! Your daughter’s being selfish.

Image credit: Fallout4Addict | Fallout4Addict
Fallout4Addict | Fallout4Addict

Putting yourself first is not being an a**hole, it’s necessary

Image credit: casciomystery | casciomystery
casciomystery | casciomystery

Put your health first, mama! NTA

Image credit: Loose-Bookkeeper-939 | Loose-Bookkeeper-939
Loose-Bookkeeper-939 | Loose-Bookkeeper-939

Put yourself first for the sake of your health, grandma!

Image credit: unlovelyladybartleby | unlovelyladybartleby
unlovelyladybartleby | unlovelyladybartleby

Friends and family stepping in to help during surgery recovery.

Image credit: Far-Ka | Far-Ka
Far-Ka | Far-Ka

Prioritize yourself first, not an emotionally manipulative daughter.

Image credit: Pinkhairdobtcare | Pinkhairdobtcare
Pinkhairdobtcare | Pinkhairdobtcare

Daughter selfish for not considering grandma’s surgery recovery needs

Image credit: Certainly-StonedOne | Certainly-StonedOne
Certainly-StonedOne | Certainly-StonedOne

Possible solution suggested for mom’s surgery predicament

Image credit: ElectionProper8172 | ElectionProper8172
ElectionProper8172 | ElectionProper8172

Single mother’s creative solution to grandma’s dilemma

Image credit: MzOpinion8d | MzOpinion8d
MzOpinion8d | MzOpinion8d

iWalk 3.0 hands-free crutch for mobility after surgery.

Image credit: hu_gnew | hu_gnew
hu_gnew | hu_gnew

Self-worth matters. Don’t sacrifice your health for others.

Image credit: Rachel-madabstom | Rachel-madabstom
Rachel-madabstom | Rachel-madabstom

Urgent surgery shouldn’t be a dilemma, NTA comment agrees.

Image credit: jjamesr539 | jjamesr539
jjamesr539 | jjamesr539

Prioritizing self-care is important, even for Ya-Yas

Image credit: Intelligent_Emu_9464 | Intelligent_Emu_9464
Intelligent_Emu_9464 | Intelligent_Emu_9464

Put yourself first! Your daughter needs to build her support system.

Image credit: RevolutionaryAd2472 | RevolutionaryAd2472
RevolutionaryAd2472 | RevolutionaryAd2472

Single mom’s tough love advice sparks debate on surgery priorities

Image credit: Ok_Reply_899 | Ok_Reply_899
Ok_Reply_899 | Ok_Reply_899

Put your health first, NTA!

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Single mother suggests school drop off alternatives, supports NTA decision.

Image credit: Moiblah | Moiblah
Moiblah | Moiblah

NTA but the US approach to childcare really sucks

Image credit: WanderingSalesWoman | WanderingSalesWoman
WanderingSalesWoman | WanderingSalesWoman

Repairing a tendon, not getting a facelift. NTA!

Image credit: Lower-Cantaloupe3274 | Lower-Cantaloupe3274
Lower-Cantaloupe3274 | Lower-Cantaloupe3274

Prioritizing health: NTA needs backup plan for grandkids.

Image credit: Keepuptheworkforyou | Keepuptheworkforyou
Keepuptheworkforyou | Keepuptheworkforyou

NTA saves daughter money but wants to prioritize grandma’s surgery.

Image credit: a_vaughaal | a_vaughaal
a_vaughaal | a_vaughaal

Investing in your health is an investment in your family! ❤

Image credit: Temporary_Praline_83 | Temporary_Praline_83
Temporary_Praline_83 | Temporary_Praline_83

Prioritizing self-care is not selfish. NTA.

Image credit: OkConsideration8964 | OkConsideration8964
OkConsideration8964 | OkConsideration8964

Don’t be taken for granted, put yourself first for once

Image credit: Fun_Pomelo_5972 | Fun_Pomelo_5972
Fun_Pomelo_5972 | Fun_Pomelo_5972

Encouraging support for grandma prioritizing her own health

Image credit: BoxFuzzy8222 | BoxFuzzy8222
BoxFuzzy8222 | BoxFuzzy8222

Empathetic commenter defends OP’s right to prioritize her health ❤️

Image credit: Sea_Programmer6661 | Sea_Programmer6661
Sea_Programmer6661 | Sea_Programmer6661

Suggestion for mobility during recovery + affirmation of self-care.

Image credit: Hoopatang | Hoopatang
Hoopatang | Hoopatang

Community suggests solutions for grandma’s daughter’s childcare problem

Image credit: westcoast7654 | westcoast7654
westcoast7654 | westcoast7654

Put yourself first! NTA, you deserve to prioritize your health.

Image credit: Imaginary-Future-627 | Imaginary-Future-627
Imaginary-Future-627 | Imaginary-Future-627

Get the surgery and help your daughter in the long-term!

Image credit: Capable-Limit5249 | Capable-Limit5249
Capable-Limit5249 | Capable-Limit5249

Your surgery, your responsibility. NTA!

Image credit: ladyredcyn | ladyredcyn
ladyredcyn | ladyredcyn

Redditor defends OP and offers practical solutions for her dilemma.

Image credit: don-cheeto | don-cheeto
don-cheeto | don-cheeto

Working parents can help each other with children’s activities. NAH.

Image credit: Jean19812 | Jean19812
Jean19812 | Jean19812

Prioritize yourself first. Your health is important

Image credit: Midlife_Crisis_46 | Midlife_Crisis_46
Midlife_Crisis_46 | Midlife_Crisis_46

Being immobile now means you can heal and help later. ✌

Image credit: MrsNuggs | MrsNuggs
MrsNuggs | MrsNuggs

Prioritizing your own health is not selfish, NTA

Image credit: samusfan21 | samusfan21
samusfan21 | samusfan21

Don’t risk your health. NTA. Your daughter will understand

Image credit: MedicalExamination65 | MedicalExamination65
MedicalExamination65 | MedicalExamination65

Putting yourself first during surgery is not selfish.

Image credit: Dizzy_Eye5257 | Dizzy_Eye5257
Dizzy_Eye5257 | Dizzy_Eye5257

Helpful advice on childcare and transportation for daughter’s kids.

Image credit: Dagger-Darling | Dagger-Darling
Dagger-Darling | Dagger-Darling

Surgery can’t wait. Daughter needs to grow up.

Image credit: inarealdaz | inarealdaz
inarealdaz | inarealdaz

NTA. Practical advice on knee roller for post-surgery mobility.

Image credit: Still-Peanut-6010 | Still-Peanut-6010
Still-Peanut-6010 | Still-Peanut-6010

Support for a grandmother prioritizing her own needs

Image credit: edwadokun | edwadokun
edwadokun | edwadokun

Ankle surgery is necessary, daughter needs to be independent.

Image credit: NewMoose_2023 | NewMoose_2023
NewMoose_2023 | NewMoose_2023

Proper planning can solve surgery dilemma. NTA makes right decision.

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Surgery is necessary for healing. You’re NTA for prioritizing yourself

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