Have you ever had a day that went so badly , you can’t help but want to crawl back into bed before it’s even over? Yeah, I think we’ve all been there a few times.
These people, though. They should probably give up on today and try again tomorrow. Their luck is so incredibly bad, I don’t think they have a hope of turning things around.
“Someone parked behind my driveway last night. I’m blocked in and can’t make it in to work now.”
Yeah, this is definitely a good excuse to call in sick and then just crawl back into bed. The owner of the car will move it eventually.
“Dropped my phone while it was charging. Now I’m stuck on < 20% battery until I can get another."
See, this is also a good excuse to not show up to work. “Oh, sorry, I can’t leave the house. My phone charger broke so I have to get a new one.” They totally won’t write you up for that.
“Beautiful front row view of my sister’s wedding.”
Question: is the wedding still legally binding if none of the witnesses can actually see it happening? Do they have to do it again, this time so their audience can actually see what’s going on?
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“That time of year again when I get to rake my neighbors leaves.”
Ah, yes. Neighbors with big trees that lean right onto your property. Why is it that they’re always the type to never rake their yards, either? I guess they have more important things to do than take care of their trees.
“How… how did it fall so perfectly. How do I pick it up? What.”
To answer that question, you don’t. That can is stuck there forever. Or at least until someone else comes by and kicks it over by accident, making the mess that’ll follow their fault. Just act like it doesn’t exist for now.
“Just found out I’ve been drinking someone else’s water that I put in my gym bag.”
Yeah… even in the best of times, this is still gross. Best case scenario, nothing happens. Worst case scenario, they’ll end up with a bad case of mono or the flu or something.
“Got my new Gameboy mug last week, dropped it accidentally 5 minutes ago.”
This is kind of tragic. But on the plus side, these kinds of novelty mugs shouldn’t be too hard to get ahold of, so replacing it shouldn’t be that bad.
Still, it’s the principle of the matter!
“The shelf in my closet fell down.”
See, this is why you shouldn’t bother using silly things like shelves as storage. Just leave your things all over your bedroom floor, and you’ll be able to get to it nice and easy!
“Had a flat tire, so I went to the gas station to air it up. Paid the non-refundable $2 only to find out someone cut the end off of the hose, making it unusable.”
To recap: this person is out $2 and still has a flat tire. Pretty tragic, if you ask me.
“I just wanted some soup. There is no can opener in the apartment.”
There are some things that we should all have in our homes and apartments. Can openers is one of those things. You never know when the tab on your can is going to snap off, leaving you sad and soup-less.
“My shower decided to spontaneously explode at 5am…”
This person’s day was ruined before it even started. I’d probably just leave a message on the work answering machine. “Hey, sorry I can’t come into work, my shower broke and I’ve given up on today.”
“Cut open a lemon to juice it.”
This is the saddest lemon I’ve ever seen. It’s all rind and no flesh. All weird white stuff and no juice. It almost feels like the lemon gods played a prank on this person. No lemon juice for you!
“First Halloween in my new neighborhood and didn’t get a single Trick or Treater.”
I feel like, since there’s still a bit of a pandemic going on, a lot of places in the world that celebrate Halloween probably didn’t have a lot of trick-or-treat action happening. I guess we’ll try again next year…
“How many years bad luck for breaking my bosses hundred year old mirror… in a haunted pub… on Halloween..?”
I think the person who broke this mirror should just stay locked up in their own home for a good decade or so. That way, the bad luck will wear off and they can live a normal life again. Even if they are 10 years older.
“See that red note? Someone thought that was a good place to put the out of order sign. The best part? My new clothes are locked in there until tomorrow when a mechanic can break the thing open.”
I, in fact, did not see the note at first (that’s kind of the point). On the plus side, though, at least this person won’t have to worry about some laundromat mooch stealing their clothes overnight.
The note, I believe, is the red slip of paper half-covered by the paper towel roll.
“Lost my wallet at Rolling Loud NYC. This was the lost and found.”
That’s, like, a good two dozen bad days right there. But what’s the most baffling is the fact that all these people lost their wallets, but none of them came back to find them. Except for this person. A true visionary.
“Left my iPad on the roof of my car. Found it on the freeway the next day. Still works!”
The fact that they were able to retrieve the iPad after losing it on the freeway is nothing short of a miracle. Though, just because it still works, doesn’t mean you should use it in that state…
“My girlfriend has eaten waffles for the last 2 last days. Today when I was putting the syrup away I noticed that it was full of dozens of dead ants. Should I tell her?”
Okay, but what if she already knew? Maybe she’s just glad for the extra protein (gross, but not the weirdest thing out there).
“Guess it’s toast for breakfast today.”
When cereals advertise prizes inside the box, they definitely didn’t mean this. It is, after all, a whole, living snake. It’s probably best to just chuck that whole bag outside and never look back.
“Just lost my AirPod.”
On the plus side, sewer grates are removable! But, that also means having to open it, stick your hands in, and touch a now-dirty AirPod. Maybe don’t stick it straight in your ear after getting it back out.
