Our funny friends really help spice up our lives. On top of their standard jokes, they come up with the most creative, sometimes outlandish ideas that wind up being fun and hilarious for all involved.
This list shows those very situations our local comedians came up with. If you’re the funny friend of the group, feel free to take some inspiration from here, too.
“I told my sister if she graduated with honors I would wear a matching dress to her graduation.”
The uploader went on to say that his sister cited this promise as her motivation when she was wanting to quit, meaning he made a real difference! She also chose an absolutely lovely dress for the both of them, they look fabulous.
“Kid has his first burger at a [Coney].”
Talk about being lost in the sauce, he’s an absolute goner. An introduction at this age means you’ve sparked a life-long problem. He’ll be begging you to take him back until he can start taking himself, you’ve given him both a gift and a curse.
“Pretending to be a sophisticated, tea-drinking adult while in a zoom meeting, when really…”
Using mini M&M’s over regular-sized ones was the perfect call here. Less chewing, they feel smoother, and overall they’re just better.
Not to mention people will be too distracted by your pretty cup to even begin pondering what’s in it! Surely it must be the fanciest of teas!
“Honesty.”
You can’t fail to meet expectations if you make sure your guests don’t have any! No advertisements about good food, or good atmosphere, or good anything. Don’t even call yourself average.
Better yet, don’t advertise at all. Let the name of your establishment come to people in their dreams instead.
“2022 Nissan Tree.”
My mind is telling me there’s no way this is safe or secure in any fashion, but my heart is telling me it’s the most beautiful creation I’ve ever seen. Can you imagine booking an Uber and this rolls up to your location? Immediate 5-star rating.
RELATED STORIES
“Student handed this in today.”
Hilarious situation, very smart of Parker’s mom to do this, but when she wrote ‘the one time we tried’, what does that mean? Tried homework? Has Parker simply never done his homework until now, and the one time he does, the dog eats it?
“Is the big guy in the sky mad at me?”
Don’t take it personally, if you can’t think of anything you’ve done wrong, it’s probably someone else in your city. After all, he can’t just change how the clouds look to you and you alone, there’s a whole audience being flipped the bird!
“I am the only one in the building today. Someone pranked me and scared me to death.”
Thank goodness you were the only one there, otherwise, the whole building would have heard your high-pitched scream of terror and come running, only to laugh when they see you got spooked! In that sense, it’s almost considerate. Way to go, office prankster!
“I went over to my coworkers apartment for the first time, he said he had a pretty solid view from his balcony.”
It’s definitely solid, there’s no way this view is getting knocked over by a stiff breeze.
This does give a ‘casinos have no windows so you can’t tell the passage of time’ feel, though. You’d hardly be able to tell the seasons if this was all you had to go by!
“My wife chose some really exciting paint colors!
I really admire people who get bold when decorating their home, and your wife is really out there! A few of these are pretty standard, sure, like the ones on the far left, but that selection in the bottom right corner? That’s some thrilling stuff!
“Pizza shop asked me ‘who’s name do you want the order under?’ I replied ‘my wife Michelle’. [This] is how they announced her name when she picked up the food.”
Whoever was working behind the counter that day was just waiting for someone to give an answer like yours. They’d been planning this joke in their head for days now, just knowing it’d be pure gold, and they were right!
“Just don’t.”
Driving always feels this vague and frightening. It’s about doing, but also about don’t’ing, you just want to make sure that you’re doing all the things you should do and not doing the things you shouldn’t.
“My wife knitted a hat for our bull terrier, but i think it works better on the whippet.”
Your bull terrier looks like he’s really hurt by your comment, because he really liked the hat, actually, and liked that your wife made something for him, but is holding his tongue because he doesn’t want to make you or the whippet sad.
“They tracked my husband down at the Renaissance Faire. Impressive.”
There’s no escaping those reaching out about your car’s extended warranty. No matter where you travel, be it across the globe or through centuries, they’ll still be reaching out. The only way to truly be free is to never have a car, and even then you might not be safe!
“The artist and the art…”
“Yeah, I call this one Torment . It’s a physical expression of the torment I feel when my owner doesn’t allow me to sit in this very chair. He always tries to tell me that he’s busy working so he can’t get up and give it to me, but I know he’s just trying to keep me down.”
“I told the apartment manager that the new motorcycle parking spot was missing an ‘e’…guess I should have been more specific.”
If I were presented with this same scenario, I don’t think I’d be strong enough to resist the urge to do the same. Please, if you ever find yourself here, do the right thing. Spare the world the agony of having to look at ‘motore’ because you thought it’d be funny.
“My friend got drunk and insisted on being slapped. This was the result.”
Wow. Was this the result of one slap, or many stacked on top of one another? If the former, who slapped him, and how many pent-up feelings of rage do they contain? It must be a lot, and a lot of scary ones at that.
“So I got my son’s kindergarten photos back…”
If you’re feeling any initial anger, withhold it. In a few years, funny school pictures will be so much more invaluable than normal ones, because you’ll be able to use them to embarrass him, which is way more important than ‘cherished memories’ or whatever.
“Someone at a festival offered me a little bag of coke.”
As someone in the comments pointed out, if the person handing them out had a lot of these, they probably paid a decent amount of money just to make this joke all day, which I respect!
What would have made it better is if they then filled each bottle with Pepsi.
“Sat next to these ladies who insisted our dog FaceTime with theirs.”
Is this what life is like if you don’t have kids, or your kids are past play-date age? You miss watching them make friends, so you start setting up your pets and organizing hangouts for them instead? That sounds really fun actually.
