If you’ve ever wanted the support of a bra without all the prudish opacity of cotton, then SheIn’s clear brassiere would — in theory — be the perfect addition to your lingerie drawer.
Of course, I say “in theory” because the reviews for this trendy plastic undergarment have been extremely transparent about just how awful the contraption really is.
Behold: The “Adjustable Straps Clear Bra” from SheIn.
Based on this image alone, the bra definitely looks like something my inner millennial would be interested in. In a world of clear plastic jeans, this bra fits right in.
I don’t blame anyone who chose to buy it, but most who did ended up regretting it.
It makes what kind of noise?!
According to one buyer, this bra either makes some sort of ticking noise or wearing it is like walking around with a bunch of Tic Tac containers stuffed in your bra.
Either way, it sounds BAD.
Basically, it’s like if Aquafina and Victoria’s Secret did a collab.
In other words, you could probably save yourself the five bucks (that’s right, it’s only five dollars — red flag! Red flag!) and make your own with a couple of one-liter Aquafina bottles.
Two-liter bottles if you’re a C-cup or larger.
Now, can we please discuss the issue of boob sweat?
This thing looks like it traps perspiration better than a Stillsuit in Dune . Heck, it’d be like wearing two fish tanks on your chest!
The whole water bottle correlation is just making more and more sense.
Prepare yourself, because these reviews only get stranger and stranger.
For the sake of impartiality, let’s take a look at some positive reviews.
There are actually a few five-star comments. Of course, they all happen to be from someone with the same username and body measurements — but for three different sizes.
“Nothing fishy going on here,” says my emoji snowman.
According to one person, this is a multipurpose bra.
Hmmm, I don’t know. I can think of several instances where a clear plastic bra wouldn’t be appropriate. For example, wearing it with a mildly see-through top.
Which, if you shop at Forever 21, is most tops.
“Very small only for kids i guess,” wrote one reviewer.
Excuuuuuuuse me?!This isn’t a training bra, you sicko! No person who falls under the classification of “kid” should be wearing a see-through bra.I. AM. DISTURBED.
Note to self: Hugs are off-limits when wearing this bra.
You’re telling me I’d have to explain to my 85-year-old grandmother — who, by the way, thinks ripped jeans are “skimpy” — that the crunching sound when we hug is a transparent bra manufactured for the sole purpose of putting my tatas on display?
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I’d like my grandmother to make it to 86, thank you very much.
Sorry, D-cups, this is just one more bra that wasn’t made for you.
While I can sympathize with your struggle to find novelty bras that suit your needs (I’m rockin’ a couple of A’s myself — or an A-minus, as I call the left one), I don’t think you guys are missing out on much here.
Now HERE’s the attitude everyone should have about this bra.
After all, it was only five dollars.
I’d spend more on a tall drink at Starbucks, and that would last me even less time.
But for most people, it was outta the box, straight into the trash can.
Through, threw, thru — does it really matter at this point?
One way or another, this bra looks like it’s going to meet the garbage.
Actually, you should probably recycle it.
At least that way it can be melted down to make new plastic water bottles.
Or, ironically, more $5 plastic bras.
