Wisdom is bred from experience . The simple fact of the matter is that none of us can be expected to know that which we do not know.
Thankfully, when it comes to those looking to get married, we’ve got plenty of people to learn from. Have a look as married couples share the things they want unmarried couples to know.
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“Live together for at least a year before getting married.” – Reddit u/Trading_2Go
I say this as someone who has been in a loving committed relationship for nearly 8 years. If you’ve never heard your partner fart or have never walked into the bathroom after they’ve eaten tacos — then you really don’t know them at all.
Keep your families out of your personal business.
There are some things that are unavoidable when it comes to filling in the rest of the family. But as far as personal fights and squabbles, it’s best to keep that dirty laundry contained to your own household.
The truth shall set you free.
“Be honest always! Once you break trust, you never really get it back. Even if that honesty might cause some momentary discomfort, in the long run, you’re better off because your spouse will trust you.” – Reddit u/Obiwan_ca_blowme
Make sure to talk about kids before you decide whether or not you actually want to have them.
The worst time to realize that your spouse or partner has no interest in having children is three years into your relationship. These conversations can be difficult but they’re crucial if your relationship is to survive.
You will feel lonely at times.
A lot of people are under the misconception that marriage or partnership is the be-all and end-all to emotional problems and issues. You need to understand that your partner isn’t the key to solving your own issues surrounding mental health.
Travelling together can tell you a lot about someone.
“Go on a road trip together. Travel together before marriage,” advises Reddit user healthydoseofsarcasm. “Close quarters and tough situations will give you insights into who that other person is.”
Your partner comes with strings attached.
“You marry a family. Even if your partner has mostly severed ties with their biological family and has set clear boundaries, and even if you think you love your partner’s family and they’re amazing.” – Reddit u/badgirlscout
You shouldn’t be more concerned with your wedding than you are about your marriage.
Try and keep it in perspective that your wedding is one day of your life, while your marriage, on the other hand, is meant to last forever. Don’t go overboard and always stick to a budget.
Dark days will come for the both of you.
“Know that whatever the darkest part of your life you’ve previously experienced was, you’re probably going to go through something equally dark, but with your partner. Having someone who will support you rather than leave you in that moment is pivotal.” – Reddit u/IslandsOnTheCoast
Love isn’t a feeling — it’s a choice.
Romantic love is fleeting, beauty fades, and youth is wasted on the young. Being in love means making the conscious choice to rededicate yourself and all that you are to a single person each and every day.
Money should never be managed solely by one partner.
“Finances are something you manage together. It isn’t something you cede to one spouse for whatever reason. I say this as someone who had to teach my dad how to use an ATM and the online banking site after my mom died.” – Reddit u/ConnieLingus24
Just because you’ve been in a relationship long-term doesn’t make you an expert on long-term relationships.
What it does make you an expert in is your own relationship; nothing else. And to be quite honest, calling yourself an expert at that might still be pushing it.
“Decide whether a fight is worth having. If it doesn’t matter tomorrow, does it really matter today?” – Reddit u/rhnireland
I try to look at it this way: if something is still bothering you 24 hrs after it’s taken place — then speak up within 48 hrs. Otherwise, all your doing is spinning your wheels.
Running the house is a two-person job.
Gender roles are an antiquated notion that have no place in our modern-day society. Both partners need to show up and pull their fair share of their weight, as well as to help carry the mental load.
Relationships based on friendship, as opposed to sex, tend to last longer and are more fulfilling.
“Have things you enjoy doing with your spouse that don’t involve sex. The most stable marriages are ones where you and your spouse could be friends if you weren’t married. Goes for dating, too, IMO.” – Reddit u/Beezertheturnip
h/t: Reddit
