Unfortunately, not every marriage can be a happy marriage.
Now, unhappy marriages don’t necessarily owe their unhappiness to the fact that the couple got married too soon. But this sometimes is a factor, and plenty of people need to get past one bad marriage early in adulthood in order to find happiness later on.
A Reddit thread yielded all kinds of stories of choosing the wrong mate — and often, getting married too soon.
Jealousy is often a big factor.
Unsplash | Rhodi Lopez …even at a funeral!
“I knew it was over when she started a fight at my brother’s funeral because female attendees were giving me hugs as part of condolences.”
Cheating is another factor.
“She goes to visit her sister over the next Labor Day weekend and I can’t attend due to work. Comes back the Tuesday after Labor Day and tells me she’s living a lie and someone else’s dream and she needs a divorce. I had no idea. Divorce finalized in January. She married some dude that her sister was friends with, and she met on that trip I was unable to attend, this September.”
But sometimes it leads to a happy ending!
Unsplash | Nathan Dumlao “When I found out she was sending snapchats to a co-worker. Turns out she was sleeping with him. We got divorced, I met the girl of my dreams, we just had our first kid together two weeks ago.”
Sometimes…sunscreen…is the culprit.
Unsplash | Antonio Gabola “We dated for five years but on the honeymoon we had a big argument over my liberal use of sunscreen. She refused to wear any because of ‘chemicals’ and I liberally use it due to my ginger skin. After a scuba adventure with her she could hardly walk. She then tried to convince me that it was all my fault because I didn’t force her to wear the sunscreen and that the honeymoon was ruined.”
What if a spouse is in the closet?
Unsplash | Tom Pumford “One evening after eating dinner, the husband said he wanted to talk about their relationship. before he could talk about it, he started crying. he cried for a few minutes and then told her he’s gay.”
Cheating once again rears its ugly head.
“She went out for girls’ night and met a new friend named Nicole at a bar. Started texting her a lot, then going to hang out now and then. We had a baby at home and she kept trying to go hang out with this girl from another town over with no last name whom I was not allowed to meet. His real name was Wesley”
Substance abuse can play a role.
Unsplash | Espolòn Tequila “My mother in law got married the first time when she was really young. Left him a month later. Turns out he was a raging alcoholic. She had no idea because her family was super overprotective and they were never really allowed to spend time together alone before they got married.”
Cheating…again.
“Got married in late May, by August or September I found out from my dad that my husband (now ex) and my brother’s wife were sexting. She was also my bridesmaid at our wedding. She felt guilty and told my dad who had to tell me.”
This is a really weird reason.
Unsplash | Damir Spanic “My brother died a week after the wedding and after about two months, he told me that was just too big of a thing to happen in the beginning of a marriage. I tried for six more months and then just gave up.”
Where have I heard this one?
Unsplash | Claudia van Zyl “When I was in Iraq and she posted a picture on Facebook of her and another guy laying in bed together, it was obvious that they had just hooked up. Don’t get married to fix relationships (pro life tip).”
Bossy behavior is bad.
“The day after the wedding when he poked me in the chest and said ‘you’re going to do what I say whether you like it or not .’ Ugh. Big mistake.”
Don’t ignore cold feet.
“Knew before we even got married. Spoke about how I thought it didn’t feel right with my family a couple months before the big day but was told it was just cold feet and we’d be fine after the wedding. Almost a year later I was still miserable so I left.”
Don’t keep secrets.
Unsplash | Damon Hall “Me and my family were at her wedding reception sitting outside on a deck. My cousin comes out to sit with us for a bit and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. Her first words were ‘please dont tell him I smoke.’ They moved to California a few weeks later and divorced within a week of being there.”
This seems like a red flag.
“Day after we got engaged. He changed. Then he uninvited my family to the wedding — said they would take my attention away from him. We lasted three months, and then I ran and hid.”
No dowry, no thanks.
Unsplash | 金 运 “On wedding day. He was angry and his family was abusive to my side for not doing ‘enough’ to entertain them. They were expecting dowry and lots of gifts (I am Indian) n since it wasn’t up to their expectations they made my life a living hell for a month.”
This is just cowardly.
“Less than a year into actively trying to get pregnant he got discouraged, gave up and started staying out until 4:15am with his ‘coworker.’ He posted selfies on her couch on snapchat and even went as far as asking her to marry him once he could get rid of me.”
He wanted a ‘traditional marriage.’
Unsplash | Chloe Skinner “Her husband at the time basically spent a few years prior to marriage being a bit of a salesman to everyone. Once they got behind closed doors his “traditional marriage” roots really came out. They both had fast moving careers, and while he was ok with her making money and having a career, he also expected her to cook, clean, take care of the dogs, etc. and never lifted a finger.”
Buying a home can be stressful.
“When we were looking to buy our first house and he basically wanted to buy the first place that had 4 walls and a roof, while I wanted us to take our time and find the right place. When I put the kibosh on a house that was overpriced and flooded 4 times in the past he pouted and gave me the silent treatment for a week.”
When you know, you know.
“The next morning I woke up and thought ‘…when would be a socially acceptable time to get divorced?’ In hindsight that says miles about why I felt I had to get married.”
Classic misunderstanding.
“She nearly killed me because she thought i was cheating from some texts that went to my mother”
I think that does it. If you’re on good terms with your partner, go ahead and give them a big hug.
Also, let us know what you think in the comments!
