I think it might do us some good to let ourselves really laugh, perhaps even for the first time all year. So here are some particularly funny tweets that I think will definitely make you chuckle. Enjoy!
Oh, so that’s how that happens.
Tell me you’ve never washed a duvet cover and had this happen to you, and I’ll call you a liar because I’m positive there is no way to get one of those things clean without it becoming the new home for everything else that was in there.
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I mean…what else are you going to do?
While you’re at it, why don’t you also try playing that super fun game called “I never realized how loud you chew before we got stuck together in the same place 24/7 and now it’s all I can hear at every meal.”
It feels like all I do is go back and forth these days.
Sometimes I like to shake things up and head to the kitchen but that walk of shame isn’t any better than this one.
Remember when we actually used to do stuff? Same.
Someone please explain this to be.
If it’s a super scientific answer, then I’m not interested.
But if it has more to do with the fact that plants have no interest being uprooted and stuck inside a pot to spend the rest of their miserable lives on a coffee table in our apartments then I am very interested.
Happens all the time.
As soon as I stop moving, even if just for a second, it’s game over. You might as well just start dinner without me because I guarantee I’m going to be at least twenty minutes late now.
Rightttttt.
The optimism of this notebook is just so depressing now that we know exactly what the “best year ever” actually had in store for us.
Because we’re weak as heck.
The other day I hit my funny bone on the counter and actually crumpled into a ball on the floor, convinced this was how I was going to die and also feeling pretty sad that it was going to happen while I was wearing Spider-Man pajama pants.
Well there you have it.
She certainly sounds like the expert on the matter to me, so if she said that’s the rule, I’m just going to go ahead and listen to this, and also everything else she has to say, too.
Yes, yes I do.
It’s usually either the kitchen table or the hallway table that I’ve repeatedly told him is not for his wallet, hat, and pocket change, yet every night that’s exactly where I find this stuff.
Curious.
I miss sunshine.
Seriously. Do you guys remember when it was 9 o’clock and you could sit outside on the patio in July, enjoying an alcoholic beverage and anticipating a really good, sun-filled summer?
Same. Now it’s winter and everything is dark and terrible.
Just a skinny legend over here.
I also skipped the ranch dipping sauce so if anyone else needs any diet tips, I’d be happy to offer up my expertise.
