There are few things in life we know to be true. Death. Taxes. Carb bloat, and an amazing new season of some Housewives franchise coming down the pipe. With so many cities on year round rotation, there’s always enough drama to go around, which is why I’m taking a moment to break down the 14 most OMG moments in franchise history.
1. Kelly Bensimon, her jelly beans and “Scary Island” (Real Housewives Of New York Season 3, Episode 12)
Who can forget on the season three cast trip to the Virgin Island when Kelly Bensimon fully lost her mind and told all the ladies she’d had a dream of fellow cast member Bethany Frankel stabbing her in the night, causing Bethany to scream her now iconic line, “GO TO SLEEP. GO TO SLEEP!”
2. When Vicki Gunvalsun asked her good friend Tamera Judge “how do you know what’s good for me?” and Tamera replied “THAT’S MY OPINION” (Real Housewives Of Orange County Season 9, Episode 19)
And in that moment, a vine was born.
3. When Shereè Whitfield asked her party planner “who gon’ check me, boo?” (Real Housewives Of Atlanta Season 2, Episode 1)
You can now buy the immortalized quote on a t-shirt from Nordstrom.
4. When Aviva Drescher threw her prosthetic leg while declaring “the only thing that is artificial, or fake about me… is THIS” (Real Housewives of New York City Season 6, Episode 20)
The best part is everyone being completely unbothered by the leg, lol.
BYE AVIVA.
5. The reunion from hell turned physical brawl between Porscha Williams and Kenya Moore (Real Housewives Of Atlanta Season 6, Episode 23)
Kenya and Porsha’s season long feud hit a breaking point after Kanya used a megaphone to cut off Porsha. Things got physical and the infamous hair pull led to Moore pressing charges against Williams.
6. Allison Dubois, her electronic cigarette and the dinner party from hell (Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Season 1, Episode 9)
Medium and professional sh*t disturber Allison Dubois was invited to Camille Grammer’s dinner party where she now infamously told Kyle Richards “Your husband will never emotionally fulfill you, so know that .”
7. When “The Countess” Luann de Lesseps asked Heather Thomson to “don’t be all.. like uncool” about the strange naked men she’d invited over the night before (Real Housewives Of New York Season 7, Episode 15)
“WE WERE HAVING A GOOD TIME!”
8. When LeeAnne Locken revealed — in a medically drugged state behind closed doors — that cast member Cary Dueber’s husband gets his d*ick sucked at the ‘Round-Up’ and that she knows the boys who did it (Real Housewives Of Dallas Season 2, Episode 7)
“I didn’t grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth. I grew up with a lot of things in my hands and they’re not knives. They’re just hands. But they work quite well.”
9. When Ramona Singer walked the NYFW catwalk like “an alien took over her body” (Real Housewives Of New York Season 2, Episode 7)
The Hadid sisters are quaking . Kendall Jenner has left the chat.
10. The most Jersey/Italian baby christening of all time that ended with the most heartbreaking family brawl (Real Housewives Of New Jersey Season 3, Episode 1)
Still hands down the best premiere episode in franchise history.
11. When Dorinda decorated, cooked and MADE IT NICE (Real Housewives Of New York Season 8, Episode 9)
Who doesn’t love Dorina and the Berzerkshires?
12. When Teresa Guidice fully flung daddy Andy Cohen in a blind-Danielle-Staub-rage (Real Housewives Of New Jersey Season 2, Episode 17)
Season 1, 2 and 3 of New Jersey are television gold and deserve an OSCAR .
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13. When Vicki Gunvalsun screamed at Grechen Rossi “YOU’RE NOT A MOTHER YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE” at an 80’s themed Bonco Party (Real Housewives Of Orange County Season 7, Episode 6)
Cat fights in themed outfits are a Real Housewives staple and I gag for them every time.
14. Last but not least, the MOST memorable table flip in television history, because who can ever forget when Teresa called Danielle Staub “A PROSTITUTION WHORE” (Real Housewives Of New Jersey Season 1, Episode 7)
“You were f cking engaged 19 times? YOU F CKIN STUPID B*TCH!”
