Breastfeeding can be a special opportunity for new mothers to bond with their babies while helping them grow.
However, it is often assumed that only young birth mothers desire to participate in breastfeeding, experiencing the bond that many say one feels while nursing a child.
After some previous difficulty with her own children, one grandma wants to see if it’s possible to bond with her grandbabies through breastfeeding.
Unfortunately, not everyone in her life is supportive of her wishes.
Breastfeeding can be a beautiful process.
From the nutritional benefits to the emotional bonding, for many people, breastfeeding is a celebration of the special connection between a parent and child.
However, there can be a harsh stigma at play against mothers who are unable to breastfeed, for one reason or another. Unfortunately, some people out there view them as someone who has failed as a mother. They are told, “breast is best,” but whether it’s for health, latching issues, or simply choosing not to, some people just don’t breastfeed.
There are some trying to change the way we think about breastfeeding.
Young women are often stereotyped as “fruitful” and perfect for “childbearing” while, by contrast, older women are perceived as being “biologically done.”
Yet these assumptions fail to tell bigger stories about the variations between cultures, biological makeup, choice, and identity that impact the way anyone feels about their bodies and breastfeeding.
One mom took to Reddit with a very specific qualm.
As the woman expressed in her post , she believes her baby’s grandmother is “gross” for wanting to try breastfeeding her newborn grandchildren.
The woman has explained that her mother-in-law “read that [grandmas] help breastfeed babies in some cultures and [she] wants to give it a go,” and she personally is not happy with that idea.
This grandma is asking her family members for help making her nursing dreams come true.
As the woman explained, her sister-in-law (presumably the grandmother’s daughter) is due to give birth in just a few weeks, and the grandmother has already voiced her interest in breastfeeding the newborn.
But she’s not about to breastfeed one of her grandchildren and neglect the other.
The woman explained that her mother-in-law isn’t just interested in personally nursing the family’s latest arrival. In fact, she also wants to breastfeed the Reddit poster’s two-month-old baby at the same time so as to not bond with one grandchild and not the other.
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As it turns out, this mother-in-law didn’t have much luck when she tried to breastfeed her own babies as a young mom.
While the Reddit post doesn’t get too specific, it does explain that the grandma wasn’t able to breastfeed, and sorely regrets not being able to experience that special bond with her own children.
But with those children now having babies of their own, she’s spied some opportunity to finally experience breastfeeding once and for all.
This mother-in-law is being shamed for her request.
Not only has her daughter-in-law rejected her wishes, she’s also taken to Reddit in an attempt to publicly shame her baby’s grandma, as well as all older women who want to experience breastfeeding.
She described her MIL’s request to breastfeed as “weird” and “delusional.”
While it’s unclear whether this was her actual response to the request, the woman also wrote, “Uh absolutely not. Gross. So inappropriate for you to ask.”
So, it’s safe to assume she likely wasn’t very kind in shooting her MIL down in real life, either.
The people of Reddit have spoken.
The Reddit tribunal has overwhelmingly backed this mother’s decision to refuse her mother-in-law’s request to breastfeed her baby, with many agreeing it was a pretty bizarre and frankly unsettling ask in the first place.
After all, if you’re able to breastfeed your baby yourself and aren’t in need of someone such as a wet nurse (a practice now known as “cross-nursing”), you probably don’t see much reason in letting someone else have a go at it.
However, while the woman does have Reddit’s support in her refusal, they think she should have ditched the inherent ageism she exhibited while making her case.
As this person wrote,
“OP is completely justified in being weirded out by the request. It’s inappropriate and massively crosses the line. I could even understand it being reason enough to take a break from the relationship, considering her reaction to being declined.
“But that should be the case, no matter MIL’s age. Having someone, anyone demand to breastfeed your child and get upset when you say no would be absolutely mortifying, regardless of whether it was someone on in their 90s or a fresh-faced 20-year-old.”
There were also some people taking the grandmother’s side on this situation.
One person called out the flaws in the discussion, writing, “A wet nurse is a real thing. This has been done throughout human history… Also, this is the United States, and we are generally weird about breasts.”
Let us know what you think of this situation and if you think this mother-in-law deserves a chance to try breastfeeding without judgment.
h/t: Reddit
