Organizing a cookout for all of your family and friends can be a lot to prepare for, even when you know everyone’s dietary requirements far in advance.
However, one woman’s backyard cookout turned into something of a nightmare when one vegan teenager turned up unannounced and accused the woman of “forcing” her to eat meat.
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The situation caused the woman in question a lot of distress, so she turned to the internet to see if she was in the wrong.
The conflicted woman took to Reddit last night to ask, “[Am I the asshole] for refusing to apologize to my boyfriend’s vegan daughter for ‘forcing’ her to eat Shawarma?”
She started by explaining: “My boyfriend (42, father of Megan [aged] 16) and I (37, widow with twins [aged] 10) have been together for 2 years now. He’s awesome. We don’t live together but we see each other A LOT. My girls love him and we’ve quickly become one family. [However, Megan] and I have a bit of tension between us but we’re working on it.”
The individual explained that their boyfriend’s daughter is staunchly vegan.
“Last week I’ve arranged a backyard cookout with family and friends. I’ve invited my boyfriend and Megan. He accepted the invitation but Megan was like ‘hmm cookout…not sure, meat and whatnot’ [and] said she wasn’t coming,” the woman wrote.
“I got busy with guests and the main dish was Grilled Chicken Shawarma. To my surprise Megan showed up with my boyfriend and went straight to sit with her phone watching youtube. I asked my boyfriend why he didn’t give me the heads up and he said he called but clearly my phone was inside the entire time.”
When it came time to serve food, the lack of vegan options became something of an issue.
Their boyfriend’s daughter came up with an empty plate, only for the woman hosting to be quite taken aback. She went on to explain:
“I felt confused at first I asked if she was going to have Shawarma like the others and she said ‘Ewww noo’ and proceeded to say she expected me to have something vegan to grill. I was like ‘I’m sorry what’s that?’ She made a face and went on a long, detailed explanation about vegan grill recipes I could’ve made to include her in the gathering.
“I said I didn’t even know she was coming let alone know that she wanted specific vegan grill recipe. I said shawarma was all I had and directed her towards salads/appetizers to choose from.”
The teenager then accused the host of “forcing her to eat shawarma by not preparing a vegan recipe for her.”
Despite the woman explaining that she had no idea that she would need to prepare any vegan food, this did not abate the teen. In fact, the teenage further accused her by saying, “Daddy called you like…a hundred times already and you probably purposely avoided answering since you probably had nothing prepared for me and didn’t even want me to come in the first place”
Following this, the woman recounting the story explained that the teenager sat alone without food as she didn’t want to “watch us ‘eat meat’,” all before leaving without saying goodbye.
This person ended their story by writing, “My boyfriend said it was just miscommunication but I stated I’m not required to cook for her. She wanted me to apologize for the poor experience but I refused.”
The internet deemed the woman in question as “not the asshole” in the situation.
The little people who live inside of the internet were firmly on the woman’s side, and they were quite appalled at the teenager’s attitude. Some of the top rated responses came in the forms of:
“It would be different if she had said she was coming, but since her father wasn’t getting a reply, if it was that important, they could have grabbed her vegan whatever on the way. [She] could eat salad or whatever. She chose not to.”
“[Not the asshole] — welcome to the teenage years. Her father should have handled her attitude.”
A few other people held the father accountable as well, writing the likes of:
“Her father doesn’t strike me as the sharpest knife in the drawer… Ok, so he calls OP a bunch of times to say he’s bringing his daughter, never actually speaks to OP to confirm if his messages were received, and then just… crosses his fingers and shows up empty handed hoping for the best? How difficult would it have been for him to grab some vegan food ‘just in case’?”
Some people did see that there was perhaps a little more at play here.
While the internet folk were resoundingly on the woman’s side, some people did sympathise with the teenager, with one person explaining:
“NTA there were alternatives, salad ect. If I’m being honest here I feel like she feels you don’t like her, that you and her kids are taking her dad away and there is probably a lot jealousy and resentment from that. So I think the issues are a lot bigger than whether you had vegan food for or not.”
How do you think that she should have handled the situation.
It does seem as though there is more going on underneath this story than simply an issue about not having alternatives to meat at a BBQ. Hopefully these two will manage to get passed this issue going forwards.
Also, let us know your thoughts on this story in the comments below!
h/t: Reddit
