Relationships can be hard, and you probably don’t need me to tell you that!
However, people can often take to the internet to seek advice about arguments that they have with their partners. One popular place for this is Reddit’s “Am I The Asshole” thread.
So, here are some of the biggest recent quarrels to sink your teeth into today!
Am I an asshole for asking my grieving husband if he has feelings for his best friend?
The person who anonymously posted this question started by writing:
“My (27F) husband (A) (29M) is kind, funny and handsome so he’s always been quite popular – we usually hang out with the same 10-15 people he’s close with. But 6 years ago, he met a guy his age (B) at a work conference with various companies. Said guy was extremely smart, cute, a bit more reserved but still just as loveable. They immediately hit it off and after a year, even started calling themselves soulmates.”
Sadly, though, her husband’s friend died in a car accident.
Apparently, her husband’s friend was killed by a drunk driver, and her husband was devastated by the news. She explained that she gave her husband space, however, it has been three years now since the death and her husband is still grieving.
Apparently, he won’t do anything with the kids and has been incredibly distant since the death. So, she confronted him on the issue, and he snapped.
She felt that she was right to confront him on the issue!
Her husband apparently said that she was “out of line” and “ridiculous” for asking him about it. However, he ultimately confessed that he did indeed have feelings for his deceased friend.
The internet was largely in agreement that she was right to confront him on the issue. This person did also eventually post an update to this saying that they have since agreed to go to counseling and are doing a little better.
Am I wrong for not telling my ex that I got pregnant?
This one is something of a rollercoaster of emotions, so strap in! This person’s story started as such:
“I (28 F) was with my ex-husband for about 6 years. [We] were trying for a baby but had no success. About 4 years into our marriage, my ex slept with his coworker. He confessed to me rather quickly and a week later, they sat me down and told me they were expecting a child.”
“I was an idiot back then and so I felt like I should forgive him because I truly believed he loved me and I thought I had no one [else].”
So, she helped to raise the coworker’s baby.
Apparently, her husband’s family loved the baby, and the coworker he had slept with became an unavoidably massive feature in their lives. Ultimately, this person said that she felt like the “other woman” in the relationship. Eventually, she filed for divorce and left.
A few years later she married another man and they had a daughter. She explained, “I thought that it was strange that this could happen since my previous failed attempts with ex and had thought that I was the infertile one. It crossed my mind then that maybe he was the infertile one and he only believed mistress was pregnant with his child because they were having an affair.”
It ultimately turned out that her ex wasn’t the father of his coworker’s baby!
Yep, her ex discovered about her new baby through Facebook and decided to take a paternity test, which revealed that he wasn’t the father of his coworker’s baby!
Now, she writes, “my ex blames me for not telling him that I was pregnant way before and him having to father this girl. He’s doing pretty bad now and I can’t help but feel guilty like I should’ve told him.”
However, I don’t think that she is the asshole here, do you?
One person asked, “[Am I the asshole] for ‘babying my wife at the expense of my children’?”
The person who posted this story began by explaining, “The wording in the title is exactly how my 14-year-old daughter, Madison, phrased it, not necessarily my opinion. I’ve been married to Lacey for 18 years […]
“I absolutely love my wife, but she is ridiculous and vain, and still my favorite person in the world. Lacey cares excessively about appearance and dresses very feminine. She has a hard time with the fact Madison is developing her own style, and [Lacey] can get controlling.”
Apparently, the wife and daughter had a particularly bad argument regarding a home-brew haircut!
This person said that their daughter “gave herself [messed-up] bangs” and a red streak. And, I mean, who hasn’t done something like this in their life? However, apparently the wife started crying about it which prompted Madison to call her mother a “vapid, trophy wife, Barbie” which got her grounded.
This person went on to say that their wife is upset that their children don’t respect her, and that their daughter blames him or the situation due to the fact that he “coddles” his wife.
So, this person wanted to know if they were the asshole.
They ended their story by asking, “am I an asshole for trying to be a good husband?” and, boy, did the internet have some opinions.
Mostly, people responded by saying that everyone in the house is an asshole in this story, with the top response being, “This whole family – including you – needs to get some perspective.”
But…how do you land on this chaotic family’s story?
Another person posed the question, “[Am I the asshole] for bringing up that my wife treats [our] daughter differently than our sons?”
Yep, this one is pretty intense, so strap in! The person who posted this kicked it off by writing, “I’ve been noticing things for years now, and after beating around the bush for such a long time, I decided to bring it up to my wife.
“For maybe around three years now, she’s been treating my daughter way differently than our sons, whether it be about fairly innocuous things like serving her first at mealtimes or by hugging her goodnight but not our sons. On birthdays and Christmas, my wife gets our daughter enough presents to nearly send us into bankruptcy, but refuses to allow me to do the same with the boys.”
Apparently, their sons have grown to think that their mother doesn’t love them anymore.
This person also went on to say that their wife won’t talk to their sons as much either, and will sometimes just straight-up ignore them when they’re talking to her. Ultimately, they wrote:
“Two days ago, my oldest son came up to me and asked why ‘mommy didn’t love us anymore’ and that was the last straw. After they went to bed, I asked my wife to come and sit down with me and said […] that she barely pays any attention to our sons and that it was putting a strain on the family.
“She said that I was being ridiculous and nitpicking, that there was no such thing going on, and after accusing me, once again, of favoritism, she made me sleep on the couch.”
They went on to ask if they were being unreasonable, and if they should have left the issue alone?
Most people were on the side of the father here, saying that if it ever got to a point where a kid asks if a parent still loves them, then something needs to be addressed. I cannot imagine how awful that must be, not only for this person to see it happen but for the kids themselves!
They also ended their post by saying, “[I’m] wondering if I’m at fault for any of this and if I went about it the wrong way. Any input is welcome.”
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One distressed person asked, “[Am I the Asshole] for not wanting to have kids even if my husband is the ‘main bloodline’?
Now, you may have some questions about that whole “main bloodline” thing, which is only natural as we don’t live in feudal England! But, we’ll get to that.
This person started off by explaining, “September last year when my (27F) husband (29M) proposed to me. During that time I reminded him that I do not want any kids, and he’s been aware of this ever since we started dating. He has always assured me that he supports my decision, but when we announced the engagement to his family, my MIL got excited for her soon-to-be grandchildren.”
While she was unsettled by the mother-in-law’s statements, she said that her husband told her he would explain the situation to his mother.
However…he didn’t!
The couple got married in February of this year, and the recently went to see his parents, when something quite surprising happened. She wrote, “surprisingly my MIL asked how is my medication on my PCOS going. My husband immediately answered that it was going well, but I was confused.”
Apparently, her husband had told his parents that she had PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) as an explanation “because he thought I might change my mind in the future.” Which is just ridiculous on many levels.
So later, this person called her mother-in-law to explain that she never wanted kids, and apparently the mother-in-law got incredibly angry!
Her mother-in-law said that she was being selfish as her husband is the family’s “main bloodline” due to him being the eldest.
And yes, that is as insane as it sounds! This person ended her post by asking, “My husband still thinks I’d change my mind someday, but I won’t. Sorry if the story is a little fuzzy, but AITA for refusing to have kids?”
Of course they’re not the asshole here! Some people just don’t want kids and that is their decision! Also, who thinks in terms of “main bloodlines” in today’s society? That just sounds like the ramblings of a psychopath…or is that just me?
