32 Times People Had To Throw The Whole House Away

No matter how perfect a new place seems, there’s always some catch you only discover once you move in.

Maybe it’s a problem with the plumbing. Maybe your neighbors are surprisingly fond of 3 a.m. arguments set to a moving death metal soundtrack. Maybe bugs and snakes pick your new home for their monthly banquet.

If this sounds familiar, at least the folks on this list are right there with you.

1. If this is supposed to entice people to come over, I’d hate to see what they do when they don’t like you.

I have a feeling they’re only at this house because the “666” address on this street was already taken.

2. Oh, what a delight, this house has snakes that have figured out how to scale walls.

That means it’s probably not out of the question for them to drop out of the ceiling while people are trying to sleep.

Yeah, that’s great.

3. If you think it would suck to live in Gotham, I think we’ve found a place that makes it look perfectly serene.

The Joker might poison you with smiling chemicals, but at least Batman has a code against keeping a “murder kit.”

I don’t wanna know.

4. I thought it was cold where I lived, but at least I can do a little cleaning without freezing my squeegee to my bucket.

If anything, I’m impressed that this guy dared to do this without three parkas and a dogsled team.

5. I understand this person’s frustration, but I feel like this approach could only escalate things.

Do I even want to know what they’ll do if their neighbor borrows something and forgets to bring it back?

Is it just fire time then? I don’t like fire time.

6. Massive icicles are dangerous enough without looking like some terrible omen.

There’s something about a house beckoning me to an icy underworld that makes me a little reluctant to sign the deed.

I’m not hanging around for the part where it screams, “GET OUT!”

7. And of course, when you’ve actually found the perfect house, neighbors, and surrounding area, this happens.

Bonus points if you’re not even the one who was supposed to receive the package. I think they’re taking our criticisms about not knocking loud enough personally.

8. Let’s not forget that the annoying neighbor problems can easily come from inside the house.

I feel like TJ here would be one of the only people happy to hear that I’m kind of a picky eater who doesn’t really like wings.

9. Well, at least this would give someone a good excuse to put off their backyard chores.

The first one who complains about the height of the lawn or the number of weeds can be the one who gets eaten by the burger clown.

10. Don’t worry, just because the house didn’t start with any terrifying infestations, that doesn’t mean they can’t find a way in.

Obviously, the solution here is to never eat healthy again. You don’t get black widows in your pizza, right?

11. I can’t believe I’m asking for the bugs and snakes to come back, but a visit from a mountain lion will do that to you.

This is especially true when it looks about as unhappy to see me as this one does.

12. When your neighborhood has so many rats that they get their own crossing, you’re pretty much doomed to an infestation.

It’s too bad we can’t find a way to start charging them rent. It would certainly keep the mousetrap costs down.

13. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against spider bro here doing his thing, but he’s really freaking out the pizza guys.

And I feel like the cost of having to lure them back over with a 40% tip is gonna ad up really quickly.

14. Oh dear, I don’t think these poor folks know what kind of devil they’re dancing with.

Before long, chaos will ensue, and they’ll wish they could return to the days when they didn’t know how to spell “juggalo.”

The clown makeup apocalypse has begun.

15. Huh, you’d think there would be enough distance between them so as not to cause any problems, but apparently not.

I’m not sure I’ve ever had a neighbor bad enough that I was willing to put in this kind of dedication to diss them.

16. Hmm, maybe let’s just go out for lunch…

17. I wouldn’t want to live in here

Apparently, you can get your fortune told in this mobile murder cabin. If I learned anything from teen slasher films from the ’90s it’s to steer clear of situations like this.

18. Life-sized Barbie-head wall art? No thanks…

At $800, it’s a great bargain.

19. Maybe it’s time to move…for both tenants

Well, at least now literally everyone knows.

20. Not drinking out of this water glass

You’ve tried to trap a house spider in a cup before, but if you need a vase to catch it I’d recommend calling animal services and quarantining it.

21. I feel like any postal worker who has to deal with this would immediately regret complaining about dogs chasing their truck.

And anybody who pays their bills online is probably feeling really smug right about now. Computer bugs definitely beat this kind any day.

22. Not what you want to see walking out of your house

You dropped your fruit smoothie all over yourself before leaving your house and you thought your morning couldn’t get any worse. Well, it got worse.

23. Sounds like you have some interesting neighbors

Exerting their rights in this way because they have no control over their life.

24. Anyone for a bath with the Basilisk?

If my dad taught me anything, it’s to always keep your snake clean…

25. Imagine helping dad trim the hedges and you find this.

After watching Macaulay Culkin at the end of My Girl I know better than to bother a nest of bees this massive. Knowledge is power, people.

26. This is one cruel prank…

I’m hoping their eyesight was just really bad, but that little smiley face at the end makes me think they did this on purpose.

27. Looks like big brother’s literally watching you

With so many cameras, I wonder if they’ve got a control room set up with a security guard constantly watching the monitors.

28. Oh boy, I think this is gonna show up in my nightmares because my house has these and I hate them.

No, not toothbrushes, I’m reasonably OK with oral hygiene. But these creepy little (and sometimes not so little) centipedes are just the worst.

29. Someone needs to have a talk with this guy

Look, I know your minds are probably going to dirty places, but some people like to dip their cucumbers in peanut butter…trust me…

30. This little dude just wants you to stop peeing on his house

Bathroom time is a private time! And your booty is sacred! What’s going on here?!

31. When that cupboard looks a little wobbly, you should definitely get on that ASAP, or else… BAM!

32. White paint goes with everything, right?