You can tell people whatever story you want, but unless you’ve got the photos to back it up, it’s hard to convince people that you’re telling the truth. Even then, they may not believe you, but honestly, that’s probably got more to do with their trust issues than anything to do with you.
So, uh, yeah. Come look at these nifty images.
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1. The server stares at me as she continues to grate the Parmesan cheese. We both know she told me to say when I’ve had enough, but neither one of us is backing down from this.
Actually, that’s just what one person’s arm looks like after an hour of sanding. Much less delicious.
2. My friend is training to be a professional wrestler and she refuses to accept my suggestion that she should use this move in the ring.
I’ll tell you, nobody would see it coming. At least, not the first time. After that, you might just look like a dingus.
3. Just because something sounds like a super lush idea, doesn’t mean you should do it.
Case in point, this velvet car. Yeah, you heard me. A velvet car. There’s no way at all that I’d be able to drive around in that car and not sing “Black Velvet” over and over and over again.
4. Unfortunately, due to budgetary cutbacks, the station could only afford to blur one face at a time.
I’m sure that this is just a coincidence and that it’s a totally different woman who just happens to be wearing the same shirt in the same room.
5. Beep, beep, there goes your Jeep.
I mean it’s not really all that hard to imagine someone forgetting to put their car in park, but there’s something oddly satisfying about seeing it go quite like this.
6. Maybe this is actually what she wanted. Maybe her wish when she blew on the dandelion was to get a whole mouthful of it.
I remember the characters in theRedwallbooks were always drinking dandelion wine. I don’t see any way in which that doesn’t taste like compost.
7. Well, this is certainly a prom to remember.
This one might take a second. Don’t look at the people who are supposed to be in the picture. Look in the background. Yep, sorry about that.
I guess their graduation was around a comic con or something? Even still, what a picture.
8. Most of the time, when someone tells me they’re keeping screencaps as receipts, I get nervous. But this time, it’s just way too wholesome.
And hey, maybe in 15 years they’ll end up together and this’ll be an adorable meet-cute. No? Too weird to say? Well, fine, I guess it’s cool when Twilight does it, but when I say it, it’s a problem.
9. Somebody is seriously overestimating how well their weekend is going to go.
Either that, or I have been seriously underestimating what some people are capable of. I should stop talking, though, before I start revealing anything too personal.
10. Some knights had horses, some had squires, but Rachel realized that she could cut her budget in half by training a horse to do both.
Unfortunately, they had to have a serious talk about boundaries after that.
11. You know when you were a kid and you used to pretend that you were a dinosaur eating trees whenever you ate broccoli? Well, this is that tree.
Also, I’ve only just realized how wrong my scale was when it came to how big dinosaurs were compared to trees.
12. This building saw enough face peel videos on YouTube that it decided to give it a try for itself.
This is also what it looks like when I’m trying to find the right temperature in bed and I put my blanket in all sorts of weird angles.
13. This is pretty much how I go through life — always looking down at everyone around me.
But, like this truck, I fail to realize that my poor attitude means people won’t take me seriously or want to be around me.
14. This may seem hilarious, but there isn’t a single Canadian alive that will tell you to trust a goose.
Most birds are considered a positive thing on the golf course. Birdies and eagles are cool, but never geese.
15. I mean, yeah, I’d believe you if you told me this happened, but this kind of thing only tends to happen right when you look away after looking forward to it for like, half an hour.
16. When Disney finally quits filming live-action remakes of all of their movies, hopefully their next trend will be reenacting them all with shadow puppets.
You’ve already got a good start with Pinocchio since he’s already, y’know, a puppet.
17. Pretty much what my family portraits look like.
I mean the ones of me when I was a kid. My current nuclear family is photogenic as heck, as long as I’m the one taking the photos.
18. You never know when the blues are going to hit you, they just do. And the only way to make them go away is to blow, baby, blow.
*Plays “Baker Street” over and over again, annoying people even more than usual.*
19. When you say you want a hole in one, you’re usually not talking about your club, amirite?
Until this very moment, I’d never thought about the construction of golf clubs. Now it’s all I can think about.
20. Wait a second, isn’t there a movie about this? Hold on, I’m actually gonna do some research on this.
Alright, I’m back. And it didn’t actually take very long until I remembered that it was called Zeus & Roxanne , and it’s about a dog that becomes friends with a dolphin. So pretty much exactly this.
21. As part of her treatment for vertigo, Melissa’s doctors told her to find the most absurdly high heels she could.
Unfortunately, she’s now being treated for two broken ankles along with her vertigo.
22. This man is like the designated driver of education.
Hopefully he takes meticulous notes. If not, it would suck to find out that you’ve been kicked out of the squad for failing all of your classmates. That’s just too much to lose at once.
23. Hey, it’s only awkward if you call it awkward.
Sometimes you’ve just gotta lean into it and take what life offers up for you. Also, I can’t help but notice that there’s a sign in the background that is talking about a “Stink Sack,” and I’ve got some questions.
24. The itsy-bitsy spider went right into my eyeball. Then it crawled inside and started making webs on my brain, which is why all of the words that you’ve just read sound like this.
Sorry, not sorry.
