You need to be smart in this world of ours, but not just book smart. You also need to be street smart. Although, that’s rich coming from me as I am probably the least street smart person on the damn planet.
However, I’m not alone in lacking street smarts, as you will discover from the 17+ people on this list!
Life Imitates Art
You can feel the level of self-loathing and annoyance that this driver must have felt when they heard that back end hit the floor. There’s nothing like that feeling where you do something irreversibly stupid and know that you’re in massive trouble.
“I’m not a smart man.”
A few people suggested that the only way to salvage this is to turn it into a triple-decker sandwich, an idea which I can very much get on board with!
“I park on the street. My neighbors mowed yesterday.”
Jesus, that neighbor is not only a git, but they’re absolutely diabolical at mowing their lawn! Just look at the mess they have made of the grass!
Installing Air Conditioning 101
I just don’t understand why they would do this! Surely they could tell that this isn’t right…surely?!
“These shoes look like glade plug ins!”
Every couple of steps they will shoot out a burst of unpleasantly powerful air-freshener, to annoy both you and the people around you!
“This new method of delivering records being utilized by the USPS. Yep, post lady folded it in half and shoved it into my mailbox.”
Surely she must have felt that this was not meant to be bent in half!? How would you not stop when you felt the resistance?
“Sad day on Sesame Street…”
Big Bird should have seen this sort of thing coming. This world isn’t kind to giant cartoon poultry!
Mmmm… Custard Thingies!
If you work in a patisserie, then you would think that you would know what an eclair is to look at it. I like the idea of the chef saying, “I don’t care what they’re called, I just make ’em!”
“There was always that one smart kid…”
You see, this always seemed like the best idea as a kid, however, you knew that the teacher would make you do it again if they caught you doing this.
“Saw this on a smart car at the library.”
Clearly they’re not folding up their clowns effectively enough! But I guess you’d have to be a spectacularly dense clown to buy a Smart car in the first place.
“Who designed this monstrosity.”
This is incredibly infuriating just to look at. I cannot imagine how angry I would be if I actually used this and got my crotch wet.
“Check out they way my lovely wife cuts cheesecake.”
I don’t know if I would be able to go on living with someone who does this. Imagine discovering that someone you had married was like this deep down. Awful…
“There’s a story behind every sign like this.”
I’d love to see just one guy storming out while muttering angrily to himself with sticky hands and reeking of hazelnut.
“Couldn’t figure out why my friend wanted a picture of me so badly.”
Whenever you have a friend who is strangely keen to take a picture of you, you always need to check your surroundings for ways they are trying to embarrass you!
“It’s pretty visible that this candle WAS $7.99 on the portion ripped, but they put the $9.99 sticker on top. Store closing sales are a joke sometimes.”
You know that there will be some people who will still fall for these things as well. Also, who on Earth is spending $7 on a candle in the first place?!
“This Elmo arrived in the mail like someone in the Sesame Street mafia was trying to send a message…”
I’ve been waiting for the Sesame Street and Sopranos crossover for years! They told me it would never happen, but it’s finally coming!
“We ordered two paint pens from Staples…”
“Oh, Dave, there was supposed to be two paint pens in that box!”
“Ah, well, I’ve already sealed this one. Just put that one in another one.”
“Seriously? Can’t you just…”
“La, la, la, I can’t hear you!”
“I put the cable ramp boss!”
What do you reckon they thought those holes in the ramp were for? This takes stupidity to a whole new level.
“This incredible shower drain.”
How do you get into designing bathrooms without a basic understanding of how drains work…or how gravity works for that matter?
“Crappy Clock… Can you tell what time it is?”
Does anyone fancy taking a guess at what time it is? I’ll try and sort out a prize for whoever is closest! (There will be no prize except for pride!)
“When you order an ice-cream with cone…”
Who has ever wanted the cone on the side? If you know anyone who has the cone on the side like an absolute sociopath, then, please, name and shame them in the comments!
The Worst Morning…
At that point, you just go back to bed. There is no way that you are going to have a good day after this start. It’s only going to get worse from there on in.
“If only there was a cheaper, aesthetically pleasing, more natural way to get shade.”
Christ alive. The fact that they left half of the trees there is just like a taunt to Mother Nature.
“We live very close to the pet store and visit regularly. Today when my dog disappeared I knew where to find her. Too bad she can’t read.”
God, what a stupid dog, not being able to read! What are they doing, not teaching their dog to read?! They’re clearly very irresponsible owners.
“Commandments for bad drivers.”
I might have to put some of these up around our neighborhood, as our driveway is always being blocked or partially blocked.
“I bought some shoes today…”
“Here you go, I’ve finished the design for the box.”
“Dave, can you not see anything wrong with this?”
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“Nope.”
“You’re fired.”
“Whoever Designed This Street!”
This is a person lacking street smarts in a more literal way I guess. However they could be the most idiotic of all of the people on this list!
“Ladies and gentlemen, the pinnacle of human stupidity…”
The one thing that I always wanted when I was having a banana was to have to peel it twice… I’m joking, I don’t eat bananas ’cause they taste like garbage.
“My girlfriend was true to her word!”
If there’s one good trait in a partner, it’s honesty. You can trust her to fulfill her promises, no matter what that promise is.
“Never leave the room, not even for a second, when the bathtub is filling with an 11-month-old baby around.”
Sorry about your shoe, but shouldn’t the bigger worry be the baby putting themselves in there?
“My dad likes reading so I got him a Kindle for is birthday. He’s using it as a bookmark.”
“It’s a little clunky, but, boy, does it get the job done. I can’t help but know what page I’m on at all times!”
“My buddy trying to drink a beer on the high seas.”
Nothing gets in the way of a nice cold beer, not speed nor the laws of physics.
“I bought a laundry box then wasn’t home for the weekend, so my girlfriend used it (not).”
Not only is it a laundry hamper, it’s a nice one that’s all divided and fancy. And she still didn’t use it? Ungrateful.
“My new laptop arrived in a box with warnings not to open it with a saw, axe, blowtorch, flail or…a carrot!”
Aw man, my favorite method of opening packages is with my battle ax. This sucks.
“This begs the question: If your goal is to down an entire bottle, why not just cut out the middle man and drink straight from the bottle?”
Because when you’re drinking from a glass, it doesn’t feel quite like your life is hitting rock bottom.
“My cat decided to work on some repairs around her condo.”
Well, this is just silly. She won’t get anything done here without a drill.
“Literacy not required.”
Dive threw, not drive through? So I have to throw it while swimming past your establishment?
“Nobody at the church thought this was a bad idea?”
They really misread the room with this one, didn’t they? I wouldn’t tell them though. Just let them keep it up, encouraging people to actually think!
“I’ve been eating in the middle of the night a lot lately.”
The joke is good but the spacing is what’s really getting me: “I e a tw hen ic a nt sleep i h a v e nsomnomnomn omni a.”
Nice Work, Dave…
A new requirement for people to be able to get in and out of this drain is to have won Ninja Warrior !
