Every now and then the world will throw you a curve ball that will make you reconsider what is real. Well, it does for me, as I’m constantly hoping that I will wake up from the nightmare that is 2020 back in bed at the end of 2019.
Anyway! Please enjoy these 17+ moments that convinced us we’re in an alternate universe!
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“New job openings!”
I always wanted to be a swan when I grew up. Oh, wait, or should I say, “Honk Honk, Honk-Honk!!!”
*Screams In Airplane…*
This is really unsettling. I don’t know what’s worse: the human face with grate teeth, or the plane face with human teeth?!
“Birds Aren’t Real.”
Pfft, I’ve been saying this for years! Wake up, people! The birds are spying on you…when they’re not stealing your food.
“My son feeding his fake dog goldfish while his real dog sits outside, pissed.”
“Look at that damn toy getting all of those treats, just because it doesn’t have a functioning nervous system! Damn kiss ass.”
“Oh, the well-known Why Not chain of restaurants.”
“Dave, when I said get us a sign for the shop…”
“Yeah? What, do you not like it?”
“I never said I don’t like it, but I’ve got to ask, did you steal it?”
“…No.”
“A local car dealership. How they haven’t been sued is far beyond me.”
Somewhat unsurprisingly, one person who knows this place added, “The owner even calls himself ‘Shrek’ and the local commercials make me cringe. And if I am not mistaken, he got arrested last year for theft.”
“Did I wake up in a parallel universe?”
That dog knows that it is higher up the hierarchy in this family than the child! Just look at that smug face!
“A delicious part of an alternatively balanced diet.”
I’d actually probably rather have a real carrot than Cheetos. And yes, I know that’s weird, but I just don’t like Cheetos!
“Local church keeping it real.”
There is a lot to unpack here, and I’m just gonna go right ahead and leave it well alone and leave you to draw your own conclusions.
“They also got branded hard hats, but they still needed real protection.”
Ah yes, engineering students are well known for getting laid after all, ha!
(He says, having once been an incredibly socially anxious English student…)
“The 80s ⏤ when being drunk in the bathroom was a real challenge.”
I think that, even if I weren’t drunk, I would still likely be sick if I went into this bathroom! Why would you do this to yourself?
“Even seagulls are social distancing.”
What bizarro world are we living in where seagulls are no longer asshole food-snatchers?!
“A Rubik’s cube that can never be wrong.”
Every Rubik’s cube can be as easy as this one if you just peel all the stickers off them!
“Back in my day the struggle was real.”
Wow, I got a huge nostalgia trip just looking at this picture. Christ, Spotify is so much easier.
“The critically acclaimed sequel!”
This alternate universe that we’re living in is starting to look a lot more radical than the previous one! And yes, I just said radical.
Until What…?
I don’t know why, but I can’t help but find this sign oddly threatening? Is that just me or does anyone else feel like that?
“I’ve been lied to my whole life. HE IS REAL.”
I mean, on the one hand, it’s great that Thomas is real, but on the other hand, it isn’t great that someone appears to be kidnapping him!
“Didn’t know the ‘ancient ways’ were so extreme.”
Nothing is better for transporting open containers full of gold and coal than a train doing loop-de-loops!
“This toy is too real…”
Ah yes, this is truly incredibly funny and not in any way truly depressing. Yes, how we laughed.
“Boy Deformation was the best part of my childhood.”
Ah yes, as it clearly says, “Ronots in disguise!” If only I had a penny for any time I’d heard that common slogan!
“The soles of these shoes confuses the tracking of the walker.”
Sure, you may be able to deceive your various enemies, but at what stylistic cost?!
“This restaurant is only allowed to sell beer if someone buys food.”
I know that this is just a loophole and a bit of a joke, but seriously, who is buying a deep-fried pickle? Dear lord, that sounds horrendous!
“They put the hip in worship!”
Oh, and this is the special singalong edition! I hated having to watch the normal version of Sunday School Musical in absolute silence!
“While driving through Philly, I saw a scene from Always Sunny playing out in real life.”
He just needs to be cooking some sausages on a bonfire made from a wicker chair and then the image is complete!
“The universe is speaking to me.”
The kind of world where vending machines can outwardly mock humans more blatantly than by just refusing to relinquish products is not a world that I want to live in.
“Seen on the side of my university’s library. Can confirm it didn’t work.”
I wish that this worked! I’d have made a pilgrimage to this very wall immediately. Why tease people like this?
“I’m in an alternate universe.”
Since when have ketchups been horizontal? This is an outrage! And yes, I know there are much more serious issues to be up in arms about, but this is ridiculous!
“A mate found this at his University…”
Even though it is just a joke, I really want them to have put a little tiny room behind there, like something from Being John Malkovich !
“My 39-week pregnant wife went to the store to ‘get stuff for dinner’. This is what she came home with.”
The only problem I see is, who has the patience to actually put ice cream in a cone at home? In this house we eat right out of the tub.
“Who uses red paint for a base color for a wood chipper?”
At least you hope it’s a base color. For all you know, that company is down one employee.
“Looks like someone got their paycheck.”
Even with his riches, it’s clear he’s still…missing something. Looking out onto the ocean wondering what it is he wants that money can’t buy him.
“My mom issues addresses for a Parish in Louisiana. One of [the] requirements to issue an address is that the building’s front door needs to be in place. This is what she rolled up to this morning.”
While I’m sure the context is right and good, I can’t shake the creepy vibe I get. Just don’t go through that door, okay?
“I think Ariel might have had a stroke.”
I bet she’s still in shock from losing her arm and having her tail descaled.
“I’m curious what happened to World War 3-10.”
Everyone’s busy laughing but no one is realizing that this is the evidence of time travelers that we’ve been waiting for!
“Couldn’t even get Spam at the store today.”
Have you ever wanted off off-meat? Well, now you Kam!
‘Heard someone talking loudly outside my window.”
Well if there’s one thing we know for sure, it’s no baloney, and it ain’t no phoney.
“Bass Lightyear.”
While I’m sure the Buzz Lightyear POP is in high demand, I don’t think you’ll be fooling anyone with this.
“2020 is so messed up, even the rainbows can’t get it right.”
Seriously though, what kind of weather is in this picture? The houses make it look like it is an idyllic sunny day but there are horrific looking clouds everywhere?!
“Microsoft’s evil big brother.”
Who wants to be micro? That means small. We will be mega , which means big. That means we’ll be better… Right?
“Skerple!”
The good people over at the Skerples factory aren’t even trying to hide the fact that they are just copying off Sharpies! How have they not been sued?!
