We all make mistakes — it’s human nature. For example, today I slept through three alarms and was 30 minutes late for work. Tomorrow, I will probably do the same thing. Totally not my fault though, that’s just what happens when you’re bein’ human, amirite?
Now, some might say that’s super inconsiderate but personally, I’m a little upset that no one is taking my beauty sleep into consideration. I’ll give you credit since you’ve probably never actually seen what I look like, but…I need a lot of it.
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The good news is that no one was there to take pictures of me as I was making my mistakes. These people below were not nearly as fortunate.
1. If there’s one person you don’t want knowing about your fetishes, it’s probably your mom.
Posting the photo on Twitter and letting the rest of the entire world know what happened is a completely different story though.
2. I’m really not loving this.
I know their slogan used to be “put a smile on,” but I can think of about a thousand other things I’d put a smile on before actual poop. This isn’t an episode of South Park .
3. Some say he’s still in that stall to this day.
If there’s one thing we know about women’s bathrooms, it’s that there’s constantly a lineup and that they’re almost always full. Hopefully he had a big breakfast, because he’s probably going to be in there for a while.
4. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Why even bother registering if you’re just going to enter a fake name? At least when I give people a fake name at the club, it’s because I don’t want to hurt their feelings. I’m pretty sure Chef Boyardee isn’t too upset you’re curving on him.
5. Well, that’s awkward.
It can’t be the first time though, can it? The combination of nitrous gas and a hand shoved down one’s throat has probably led to tons of miscommunications.
6. Somebody’s got a case of the Mondays.
And maybe the Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, and Thursdays, all at the same time. How else do you forget something like this?
7. Uber drivers are just friends you haven’t met.
Prematurely opening up to people is a form of bonding for me. Should I stop doing that? Is this weird?
8. This guy is a god among men.
I would love to be exhausted and satisfied after an entire day of pleasure — that sounds amazing. Isn’t shopping just the best?
9. This is the texting equivalent to chucking deuces as you walk out of a room.
As far as misfired texts go, it could’ve been worse. And I mean, she’s not wrong. That cookie is def lookin’ like a snack.
10. I had a pizza place call to confirm my order because I ordered “too much cheese.”
First of all, not a thing. Secondly, you’d think someone would look at this order and consider confirming these details before sending it out.
11. The contestant didn’t seem to mind.
I do like how the network didn’t cut that part though, ensuring Seacrest would have to relive his indiscretion in front of millions of people. That’s just good television.
12. He’s painted himself into a literal corner.
The metaphorical type tends to be a lot more difficult to get out of, so maybe that’s a good thing. I can’t see his face but judging by that posture, I can only assume it’s plastered with a look of defeat.
13. It’s a trap.
Everybody knows that fast food restaurants will do whatever it takes to keep their customers coming back. Personally, I think this was a tactic by big Chipotle.
14. In the spirit of this photo, let me give you another way to look at this.
Had he taken a normal picture, you probably would’ve left it on your phone and never looked at it again. Instead, he’s given you the gift of this hilarious story to share with friends and fam. You should be thanking him.
15. Poor guy didn’t stand a chance.
There are few things that can overpower a girl’s desire to be t h i c c, and apparently the strongest bone in the human body is no exception.
16. The bad news is that the car is a write-off.
The good news is that I’m sure daddy will have no problem getting his princess another Lexus. I mean, he got her the first one knowing she drove like this, right?
