The world is full of liars, and I know that’s not a very positive way to kick off what is meant to be a funny list, but there you go! I’m coming at you hard with the truth nuggets!
However, the liars on this list tell such bad and downright weird lies, that you can’t help but laugh!
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“When you lie on your job application…”
All of my years of playing video games are telling me that there is a secret room behind this absolute monstrosity!
“I’ve been lied to my whole life. HE IS REAL.”
I always had faith that he was real, although it looks like he might have been in a bit of an accident… Where is his damn face?!
But It’s Right There In The Name!
I like that when they say, “This is the last time we will contact you,” it makes it sound like Mr. Jones has sent them countless desperate messages before they have sent this back.
“This upside down truck.”
I don’t know why you would want a truck like that when it was right side up, so God knows why you would want one upside down?!
“Blatant Lies…”
They should make a bill slot where you can only insert your note if you fold it into a specific shape, or into a crane! That would certainly stop people from buying things from vending machines…for whatever reason.
Somehow I doubt that…
Someone also pointed out that there are always more than five guys in Five Guys as well. Brands are just built on lies nowadays!
“Expectation vs Reality.”
Someone suggested that the Band-Aid may only actually work if it is on your skin, so someone should probably get on that experiment!
(Please don’t actually hammer a nail into your finger…)
The Service Here Is Terrible!
I can’t believe that some establishments still expect people to wash their own hands nowadays. We’re not living in the Dark Ages for Christ’s sake!
“One of these is lying…”
Pfft, they’re both clearly lying! The greatest gift to life is Guinness, shortly followed by bacon sandwiches.
“Someone at my stepdad’s work put dry ice in the toilet by mistake.”
Nope, not a chance this was by accident or just an innocent mistake. You can only do this by pouring dry ice into the damn toilet! No one’s poop is gonna do this!
Wait… What?
But, their name isn’t “Gold retriever,” it’s “Golden retriever”! Stop having unrealistic expectations of your pets, okay?! He’s doing his best!
“I stopped and waited at this sign for like 20 minutes an zero people did motocross tricks over a rainbow…”
Life is already full of enough disappointments! One thing we don’t need is to be falsely promised sick motorbike tricks over rainbows!
False Advertising!
I hate it when you buy a new fridge and take it home only for thousands of bats to come flying out of it. Serves me right for buying one at Dracula’s garage sale though I guess.
“Never leave your lunch lying around when you work at a pharmacy.”
I think that my favorite has to be, “Your prescription has been flavored by flavor.” That’s how I feel when I eat Mr. Noodles.
Lying About Rope
When it comes to stuff like this, you need to be incredibly clear that this is not for climbing, especially when you put a picture of a man climbing on the front of the damn packet!
“This duct taped car.”
This is some truly incredible precision to make this look so normal! However, once you see it, you can never unsee it!
“Target’s unrealistic body expectations!”
Expecting men to look like that is a bit of a stretch, don’t you think?! (See what I did there… “stretch”?!)
“My GF got a bit of a shock when I dropped to one knee only to tie up my shoelace… (Props to the stranger for the photo).”
They also said, “Was not expecting the verbal onslaught that occurred afterward.” But…how would you not expect her to be angry?!
You Fell For One Of The Classic Blunders!
That’s what you get for buying something with a damn panda on it. Christ, I hate those animals. They just suck at being animals in every way!
“I’ve been lied to before, Fanta.”
I think that this is just actually meant to mess with people who are colorblind! Very cruel, Fanta, very cruel indeed.
“My meow is a lie…”
“Ssshhhhh, sweet human, don’t listen to the lying tag. Look deep into my eyes and provide me with more sustenance…”
“My chef just told me there was a massive leak in the kitchen ceiling.”
I hope that this chef was appropriately reprimanded by management for making such an absolutely horrendous joke!
“I made up a fake event for my local library.”
This kind of false advertising makes me sick. For anyone wanting to go to the We Hate Keith Club, the meetings are actually every second Thursday. And next time, we will actually be discussing his footwear choices.
“We live in a world of lies.”
“Can I have a pretzel?”
“We’re out of pretzels.”
“But there are some—”
“I said. We. Are. Out. Of. Pretzels.”
“She’s not fooling anyone with that steering wheel.”
Something also tells me that the car next to her might not be real as well. I don’t know what it is that tipped me off, I’m just a bit psychic sometimes.
“Ordered a blueberry muffin. Got 1 blueberry. I didn’t expect the description to be so accurate.”
Hmmm, we have no way of knowing that they didn’t eat some blueberries on the way to the center… We need proof! The only way is for them to vomit it back up so we can have a good look!
“Untrackable shoes!”
Now you can lie with your footprints as well! I always hated how honest my footprints were, but not anymore!
Are You A Cat Or A Dog Person?
I like how it looks like the dog is staring straight at the driver and saying, “No matter how much you want, I will never be a cat. Why won’t you just love me for who I am?!”
“The bathroom door says ‘men’ from the outside but from the inside says ‘women’ spelled backwards so you think you were in the wrong bathroom.”
My personal bias leads me to hate this since I already have a massive dislike for public bathrooms. I think if this ever happened to me I’d just never use one ever again.
“I’m sure we’ve all been there Dylan.”
Listen, Dylan, if you murdered someone, it’s best to be honest! You’ll get in less trouble that way. Maybe.
“I bought my parents a TV for Christmas, but they’re going to think it’s something else at first.”
This is a dangerous game. You think it’s a funny haha prank but then they’re actually really excited by their swing gift, and you just learned a lot about your parents that you didn’t want to know.
“Saw this hot rod this morning.”
This is that “dress for the job you want, not the job you have” advice but way sadder.
“When panorama shots go wrong.”
Instagram girls have nothing on this guy. No angles, no editing, all-natural.
“Saw this at my local pharmacy.”
I want to see a trail of more signs clarifying that statement: “Well, there are drugs, but we’re not taking them.” “Well, sometimes we’ll take them if we’re sick, but mostly they’re for you.” “ONLY if you have a prescription.”
“Saw this guy in class today, and yes that is cheese.”
I don’t know this man, I don’t know his life, but I am scared of him. Terrified, actually.
“Sat across from this girl at a coffee shop. Something seemed off.”
It’s legally mandated for coffee shops to kick you out if you’re not using a Mac, so she had to get creative.
“Not sure the wife understands what freezer bags are for.”
If your wife takes everything this literally, I can only imagine what an organizational nightmare your house is.
Maybe They Should Rethink The Name…
This is clearly too much wind for the Wind Seeker! I guess you really should be careful what you wish for!
“One way to make sure parents keep their children with them.”
And you know kids never forget lofty promises, so I’d keep an eye and hand on them at all times here.
The Cruelest Cookie Of Them All
The little smiling faces really add to the passive aggressive tone. I wouldn’t let a fortune diss me like that! Eat that fortune and show it who is boss!
