Diply
  • Home
  • DIY
    Dad carrying child on his shoulders (Unsplash | Kelly Sikkema)

    Simple Cardboard Vase Activity Encourages Kids To Explore The Great Outdoors

    Grandma crocheting

    Forget Flowers And Gift The DIYer In Your Life A Yarn Bouquet Instead

    Remodelaholic | https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:30_Hudson_Yards_(92900).jpg

    You Can Make Your Own Backyard Oasis With A Fire Pit Just In Time For Summer

    Pool noodle DIY monsters

    28 Amazing DIYs That Are Seriously Made From Pool Noodles

    Unsplash | Kenrick Mills

    Stunning ‘Sea Glass’ Quilts Are A Beautiful Way To Use Up Fabric Scraps

    Unsplash

    Artist Creates Adorable Creatures Inspired By Tea

  • Home & Garden
    Pink flowers bush

    Garden Expert Shares Simple Hack For Keeping Your Flowers Vibrant For Longer

    joes-garden-on-tiktok-for-gardening-tips

    You’re Probably Watering Your Plants Wrong—Expert Explains The ONE Reason Your Plants Die Fast

    Home Depot | www.homedepot.com

    People Are Writing Hilarious Reviews For Home Depot’s $1500 Crab Sculpture

    Unsplash | Robin Wersich

    Woman Shares Hack To Help Keep Our Gardens Green All Summer

    Unsplash | Sandie Clarke

    18 Gardening Tips And Tricks Perfect For Beginners

    Unsplash | Annie Gray

    People Who Have Been On Home Makeover Shows Share How It’s Going Now

    Unsplash | Emiliano Bar

    TikToker Shows How Little $4,000 Rent Gets Apartment Hunters In NYC

    Red and Blue folded towels

    ‘What Is The Purpose Of This Part Of A Towel?’ – Online User Sparks Debate Over Confusing Detail In The Home Item

    Pexels  | Pexels

    We’ve Been Carving Pumpkins Wrong For Years, But One Woman Set Us All Straight

  • Food & Drink
    Haribo Happy Cola Original packet

    Haribo Recalls Gummies After Product Batch Was Found to Contain Cannabis

    Unsplash | Aubrey Odom-Mabey

    Woman Sets Out To Try All The Recipes Left On Grave Markers

    Reader's Digest | Paramount

    Cooking Mistakes We’re Probably All Making

    youtube | Warner Home Video

    Firefighters Rescue Two People Who Fell Into A Chocolate Tank At A Mars Factory

    Unsplash | Towfiqu barbhuiya

    Here Is The Perfect Peanut Butter And Pickle Sandwich Recipe

    Unsplash | Quin Engle

    A Man’s ‘Demonic’ Way To Cut Pizza Has Divided The Internet

    TikTok | @thewirelady

    Here’s The Perfect Hack For You To Make Chocolate Croissants With An Air Fryer

    Unsplash | Katie Smith

    People Are Dishing Out Their Favorite Lazy Cooking Cheats, So We’re Taking Notes

    Canva

    Disney’s Olaf Hot Chocolate Bombs Are Like A Warm Hug In Every Mug

  • Cooking & Recipes
    Unsplash | Aubrey Odom-Mabey

    Woman Sets Out To Try All The Recipes Left On Grave Markers

    Reader's Digest | Paramount

    Cooking Mistakes We’re Probably All Making

    Unsplash | Towfiqu barbhuiya

    Here Is The Perfect Peanut Butter And Pickle Sandwich Recipe

    TikTok | @thewirelady

    Here’s The Perfect Hack For You To Make Chocolate Croissants With An Air Fryer

    Unsplash | Katie Smith

    People Are Dishing Out Their Favorite Lazy Cooking Cheats, So We’re Taking Notes

    Unsplash | CA Creative

    People Are Sharing The Worst Homemade Meals They’ve Ever Had

    NBC | NBC

    Random (But Useful) Kitchen Hacks Everyone Should Know

    Unsplash | Conscious Design

    Hilarious Cooking Mistakes That Took A Bad Turn

    Unsplash | Louis Hansel

    Chefs Share The Ingredients People Often Overlook

  • Bed & Bath
    Unsplash | Grant Beirute

    Costco Has A 10-Foot Blanket That Has Cozy Family Time Written All Over It

    Unsplash | Jude Infantini

    Expert Says Not Washing Pillows Often Enough Can Make People Sick

    Pexels  | Pexels

    18 People Who Took Bathroom Decor To The Extreme

    Unsplash | Jeremy Sallee

    Chances Are Most Of Us Have Been Washing Our Duvets Wrong

    Unsplash | LeeAnn Cline

    Wife Sparks Debate After She Says There’s No Need To Iron Bedsheets

    Unsplash | Nathan Powers

    Apparently, Vodka Is The Secret Ingredient To A Spotless Bathroom

  • Pets & Animals
    Croc attack

    Horrific Footage Of Tourist Mauled By 15ft Crocodile After Jumping Into Enclosure

    Vanilla the chimp sees the open sky

    Stunning Footage Shows Chimp Experiencing Sunlight For First Time After Almost Three Decades in A Cage

    Genetically created 'dire wolf' (Colossal Biosciences)

    Scientists Claim to Have Brought Back Wolf Species From 10,000 Years of Extinction –  But Other Experts Dispute It

    Unsplash | Hans-Jurgen Mager

    15 Animals With Vaguely Threatening Auras

    TikTok | @cat_the_vet

    Veterinarian Explains Why Norway Banned Breeding Bulldogs And Cavalier Spaniels

    Unsplash | Colin + Meg

    Incredible Footage of Moose Shedding Antlers – See It for Yourself

    Unsplash | Sergey Semin

    Cat With No Eyes Has A New Life Now As An Online Sensation

    Cats can contract bird flu and people should be aware

    Protecting Your Cats from Bird Flu: Essential Tips to Keep Them Safe

    Facebook | David Tan

    Retired Military Pilot Has Flown Over 360 Rescue Dogs Closer To Their New Homes

No Result
View All Result
Diply
  • Home
  • DIY
    Dad carrying child on his shoulders (Unsplash | Kelly Sikkema)

    Simple Cardboard Vase Activity Encourages Kids To Explore The Great Outdoors

    Grandma crocheting

    Forget Flowers And Gift The DIYer In Your Life A Yarn Bouquet Instead

    Remodelaholic | https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:30_Hudson_Yards_(92900).jpg

    You Can Make Your Own Backyard Oasis With A Fire Pit Just In Time For Summer

    Pool noodle DIY monsters

    28 Amazing DIYs That Are Seriously Made From Pool Noodles

    Unsplash | Kenrick Mills

    Stunning ‘Sea Glass’ Quilts Are A Beautiful Way To Use Up Fabric Scraps

    Unsplash

    Artist Creates Adorable Creatures Inspired By Tea

  • Home & Garden
    Pink flowers bush

    Garden Expert Shares Simple Hack For Keeping Your Flowers Vibrant For Longer

    joes-garden-on-tiktok-for-gardening-tips

    You’re Probably Watering Your Plants Wrong—Expert Explains The ONE Reason Your Plants Die Fast

    Home Depot | www.homedepot.com

    People Are Writing Hilarious Reviews For Home Depot’s $1500 Crab Sculpture

    Unsplash | Robin Wersich

    Woman Shares Hack To Help Keep Our Gardens Green All Summer

    Unsplash | Sandie Clarke

    18 Gardening Tips And Tricks Perfect For Beginners

    Unsplash | Annie Gray

    People Who Have Been On Home Makeover Shows Share How It’s Going Now

    Unsplash | Emiliano Bar

    TikToker Shows How Little $4,000 Rent Gets Apartment Hunters In NYC

    Red and Blue folded towels

    ‘What Is The Purpose Of This Part Of A Towel?’ – Online User Sparks Debate Over Confusing Detail In The Home Item

    Pexels  | Pexels

    We’ve Been Carving Pumpkins Wrong For Years, But One Woman Set Us All Straight

  • Food & Drink
    Haribo Happy Cola Original packet

    Haribo Recalls Gummies After Product Batch Was Found to Contain Cannabis

    Unsplash | Aubrey Odom-Mabey

    Woman Sets Out To Try All The Recipes Left On Grave Markers

    Reader's Digest | Paramount

    Cooking Mistakes We’re Probably All Making

    youtube | Warner Home Video

    Firefighters Rescue Two People Who Fell Into A Chocolate Tank At A Mars Factory

    Unsplash | Towfiqu barbhuiya

    Here Is The Perfect Peanut Butter And Pickle Sandwich Recipe

    Unsplash | Quin Engle

    A Man’s ‘Demonic’ Way To Cut Pizza Has Divided The Internet

    TikTok | @thewirelady

    Here’s The Perfect Hack For You To Make Chocolate Croissants With An Air Fryer

    Unsplash | Katie Smith

    People Are Dishing Out Their Favorite Lazy Cooking Cheats, So We’re Taking Notes

    Canva

    Disney’s Olaf Hot Chocolate Bombs Are Like A Warm Hug In Every Mug

  • Cooking & Recipes
    Unsplash | Aubrey Odom-Mabey

    Woman Sets Out To Try All The Recipes Left On Grave Markers

    Reader's Digest | Paramount

    Cooking Mistakes We’re Probably All Making

    Unsplash | Towfiqu barbhuiya

    Here Is The Perfect Peanut Butter And Pickle Sandwich Recipe

    TikTok | @thewirelady

    Here’s The Perfect Hack For You To Make Chocolate Croissants With An Air Fryer

    Unsplash | Katie Smith

    People Are Dishing Out Their Favorite Lazy Cooking Cheats, So We’re Taking Notes

    Unsplash | CA Creative

    People Are Sharing The Worst Homemade Meals They’ve Ever Had

    NBC | NBC

    Random (But Useful) Kitchen Hacks Everyone Should Know

    Unsplash | Conscious Design

    Hilarious Cooking Mistakes That Took A Bad Turn

    Unsplash | Louis Hansel

    Chefs Share The Ingredients People Often Overlook

  • Bed & Bath
    Unsplash | Grant Beirute

    Costco Has A 10-Foot Blanket That Has Cozy Family Time Written All Over It

    Unsplash | Jude Infantini

    Expert Says Not Washing Pillows Often Enough Can Make People Sick

    Pexels  | Pexels

    18 People Who Took Bathroom Decor To The Extreme

    Unsplash | Jeremy Sallee

    Chances Are Most Of Us Have Been Washing Our Duvets Wrong

    Unsplash | LeeAnn Cline

    Wife Sparks Debate After She Says There’s No Need To Iron Bedsheets

    Unsplash | Nathan Powers

    Apparently, Vodka Is The Secret Ingredient To A Spotless Bathroom

  • Pets & Animals
    Croc attack

    Horrific Footage Of Tourist Mauled By 15ft Crocodile After Jumping Into Enclosure

    Vanilla the chimp sees the open sky

    Stunning Footage Shows Chimp Experiencing Sunlight For First Time After Almost Three Decades in A Cage

    Genetically created 'dire wolf' (Colossal Biosciences)

    Scientists Claim to Have Brought Back Wolf Species From 10,000 Years of Extinction –  But Other Experts Dispute It

    Unsplash | Hans-Jurgen Mager

    15 Animals With Vaguely Threatening Auras

    TikTok | @cat_the_vet

    Veterinarian Explains Why Norway Banned Breeding Bulldogs And Cavalier Spaniels

    Unsplash | Colin + Meg

    Incredible Footage of Moose Shedding Antlers – See It for Yourself

    Unsplash | Sergey Semin

    Cat With No Eyes Has A New Life Now As An Online Sensation

    Cats can contract bird flu and people should be aware

    Protecting Your Cats from Bird Flu: Essential Tips to Keep Them Safe

    Facebook | David Tan

    Retired Military Pilot Has Flown Over 360 Rescue Dogs Closer To Their New Homes

No Result
View All Result
Diply
No Result
View All Result

16+ Hilarious Tweets From Women To Read Between Afternoon Naps

by Caitlyn Clancey
5 years ago
in Humor
Reading Time: 4 mins read
A A
Twitter | @mommajessiec

Twitter | @mommajessiec

Share on FacebookShare on TwitterPin This Post

I don’t know about the rest of you, but my daily routine has quickly slipped into an inexplicable number of naps, broken up by periods of wandering to the kitchen to make a plate of nachos which I will then qualify as a “snack.”

So in other words, quarantine is going great .

RELATED STORIES

herd of gray elephants

Today, the Internet Learned Something About Elephants They Wish They Could Forget

TikTok | @knucklebumpfarms

Mischievous Emu Named Emmanuel Becomes Viral Star On TikTok

Dogs wearing crocs

Crocs For Dogs Exist And They’re The Cutest Little Shoes We Ever Did See

instagram | @fitfamelpaso

‘I Didn’t Do Anything Wrong’ Says Woman Who Jumped Into Monkey Enclosure

I feel like I’ve really found my rhythm now, so to speak. I’ve made a schedule for myself and even though it’s deeply pathetic, I’m sticking to it. And you can bet I always find time in my super busy day to enjoy some hilarious tweets from women.

Here are some of my favorites that I found this week.

“I remember when I used to hang out with my friends in a New York City coffee shop.”

I also keep having these weird moments where I feel like I need to warn people on television about what’s coming for them in 2020 because they have no clue.

“Look, I know you guys are happy and hugging right now because Rachel got the promotion, but you won’t even want to take the city bus in a few years. Just sayin’.”

Can’t un-see it now. Thanks.

I think it’s the eye brows.

And also the eyes.

And the general expression of concern mixed with confusion. Classic Gyllenhaal.

There’s a reason I didn’t click “buy now”.

$70 is outrageous for a sports bra but watch me order a $30 meal from Uber Eats for the fifth time this week and not even think twice about it.

I understand completely.

Honestly, if I ever just don’t show up to work without offering any sort of an explanation whatsoever, please assume I’m lost in the city somewhere following this exact person and this exact dog.

*Shark Tank* won’t know what hit them.

The other day I gave my boyfriend some baby carrots and he asked if they’re supposed to be that wet and I said yes, and then it occurred to me that maybe we’d all be better off if we didn’t have to deal with inexplicably sopping wet baby carrots right out of the bag.

It’s 2020, let’s get on this.

True colors.

My cousin had a baby and while I won’t say what his name is, I will say it has an unnecessary number of “Y”‘s in it.

So basically I’m no longer speaking to my cousin.

Bacon packaging is a problem we never talk about.

While we’re at it, I would also like someone to come up with cereal packaging that can be re-sealed so my Honey Nut Cheerios stop going stale on me before I have the chance to eat the entire box.

Thank you.

“Husband material” has taken on a whole different meaning now.

Look, I love my boyfriend. Really, I do.

But a few weeks ago he cut my hair for me and I still haven’t fully recovered from that mess so perhaps it’s time we all start getting a bit pickier when it comes to finding life partners.

You keep doing you, Charleston.

If anyone complains about this beautiful angel making any sort of noise, I will straight up end you .

He deserves everything in the world, including the freedom to howl to his little heart’s desire.

Pretty much.

It’s sort of like a process where you start by ditching the bra one day, and then a few days later you find yourself elbow-deep in a bag of Hot Cheetos with both of the girls totally out of the shirt and enjoying this beautiful Wednesday afternoon.

Why don’t we ever talk about this?

I’m not about to start a whole thing here but I definitely think we should bring up this very strange Reese Witherspoon-related occurrence more often.

I just sang this aloud while making a grilled cheese sandwich.

Honestly, it’s about time that song got an update and I’m sufficiently satisfied that bread took center stage in the reboot.

Why bring it up then, Elton?

I’m just saying, no one asked. Like, you’re literally the one who mentioned it and then bailed on that thought entirely.

Could have just left it out, you know?

Not today, mom.

Oh, you thought you were going to shut your eyes for a few minutes? Think again. I just finished that apple juice you gave me and I’m ready to frickin’ go .

We see you and we love you because we were you.

I can distinctly remembering plastering my room from wall to wall and floor to ceiling with a disgusting amount of Zac Efron posters, and glossy pictures of a reluctant Robert Pattinson following through on his contractually-obligated Twilight photo shoots.

It was my masterpiece.

This is how I keep myself entertained nowadays.

There’s a squirrel that’s been wandering up onto my apartment balcony every morning for the last month or so and I’ve decided it’s an especially smart squirrel named Pepper, a Ratatouille type, if you will, who comes to my back door because he wants to watch me expertly prepare my gourmet scrambled eggs and bagel.

He’s just trying to learn .

High School reunion? Oh, no thank you.

The girl who stole my locker in sophomore year has two kids and sells scented wax melts on Facebook full time now, so I think I know just about all I need to know about her. No reunion necessary.

It’s incredibly presumptuous of you, Netflix.

Like, I don’t even know if i want to invest in this yet and you’re already playing it like you just made the decision for me.

This is not what I’m paying you for.

Make your choice.

Personally I’m leaning more towards vampire but only because I think my life is better suited for the late hours and I’m not sure I have the right “body guard” mentality to throw myself in front of a bullet for someone, you know?

10’s across the board.

I know the Olympics are cancelled but now’s the time for us to make our own. Like, putting on jeans, or stopping yourself from eating an entire pan of lasagna at 10 a.m., or stepping foot outside your front door more than once a week.

I’d watch that.

Tags: Humor

What's Popular

Facebook | We Love Skulls and Skeletons
DIY Projects

Give Cheesy Lawn Flamingos A Gothic Tough By Adding Skeletons To Them

Unsplash
Hacks

23 Random Lifehacks That Are Kind Of Genius

Grandma crocheting
DIY Projects

Forget Flowers And Gift The DIYer In Your Life A Yarn Bouquet Instead

Red and Blue folded towels
Home & Garden

‘What Is The Purpose Of This Part Of A Towel?’ – Online User Sparks Debate Over Confusing Detail In The Home Item

  • About Us
  • Editorial Guidelines
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Service
  • DMCA

Discover creativity and comfort with Diply—your go-to lifestyle hub for DIYs, beauty tips, recipes, home inspiration and more! © 2024 Diply

No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • DIY
  • Home & Garden
  • Food & Drink
  • Cooking & Recipes
  • Bed & Bath
  • Pets & Animals

Discover creativity and comfort with Diply—your go-to lifestyle hub for DIYs, beauty tips, recipes, home inspiration and more! © 2024 Diply