The internet allows so many of us the opportunity to find out more about the world we live in, and to ask other people around the world for help with very serious situations we may have found ourselves in!
However, there will be absolutely none of that seriousness here, as I show you 17+ people who asked wildly ridiculous questions on Yahoo Answers!
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Can I tell by the smell of my husband’s gas if he has been cheating?
This question to Yahoo Answers started amazingly with “I know this sounds crazy… BUT” and then went on as such:
“Hubs usually has his own smell. The family always knows when he has passed gas even if he tries to be funny and blame it on the dog. Lately, he’s had to work late a few times and each time he’s come home and his gas has smelled unlike anything I’ve ever smelled from him. Kinda like maybe he had Thai food or something? He says he has only been at work and not anywhere else… but something is definitely different. Do you think he’s cheating?”
Hmm, this does seem very suspicious! Do you think that this is a clear indicator that something is up… or do you just think this person is absolutely insane?
Is it illegal to kill an ant?
Now, I feel like I should warn you that this one is not as straightforward as it seems! As this person went on to tell Yahoo Answers, “today I was walking down the street and there was an ant on a puppy so I stepped on the ant and killed it. A police officer gave me a very dirty look and so did a lot of people so I was wondering if it is illegal to kill an ant? I am super serious!!! This isn’t a joke!”
So…. yeah. I think that a lot of people may surprisingly have had a problem with them stepping on a puppy, as the top answer simply read:
“YOU
STEPPED
ON
A DOG”.
“Is it rude to fart when someone is crying during a family dinner?”
They went on to explain their forlorn tale as so: “My family was having a reunion and we had a big dinner and I was sitting next to an Aunt that I’ve only talked to like once in my whole life and she was talking about how she had an abortion and she started crying about it and it was really boring and I had to fart so I let one out and it was nasty and smelt horrible and I made someone laugh and my Aunt went hysterical and my mom sent me to bed without dinner. Why would this be considered rude I don’t understand?”
This question had perhaps the widest array of answers, there were a lot of people condemning the person for farting, but also people who said it sounded hilarious! I can’t say it sounded funny myself if I’m honest…
Why can’t I see myself on google earth?
The poor person who asked this question explained, “Ok I enter my address in and I can see my house perfectly and I know its the right house for sure but the thing is I can’t see myself when I go outside? I can see the cars on google earth but not myself?? I go out with my laptop and try to reflect something shiny to the sky so that it can read my location off.”
Can you imagine how weird it would be if Google Earth was a live feed? That would be pretty damn unsettling.
I just ate 17 bagel bites will I die in my sleep?
On its own, “I just ate 17 bagel bites will I die in my sleep?” would be a legitimate question; however, this person added to their Yahoo Answers query: “I know bagel bites only come like 10 in a pack but I stole an extra seven from Walgreens when I bought the main pack. anyways I just ate 17 of them (15 three cheese flavor and 2 pep pepperoni) but ok so am I going to subconsciously die in my sleep tonight? I’m kinda tired but know I should stay up just in case I have a chance to fight the bites.”
They also expressed concern as to when the bagel bites would get to their arteries. And, while a few people told them not to worry, one wise person also warned, “You should not eat more Bagel Bites than your age!”
“Can a spider legally own a gun?”
Yup, Ziq quite simply asked, “can a spider legally own a gun?”
And, there was a lot of debate in the comments, and my favorite answer to this question came in the form of, “There’s no law about that. That said, good luck finding a spider with the sentience required to use a gun without the use of LSD.”
What is the phobia of chainsaws called?
Vanessa felt alarmed enough by chainsaws to simply ask the internet, “What is the phobia of chainsaws called?”
Thankfully, one person called “Frank” was there to answer her, by simply answering, “Common sense”. And, he’s not wrong!
Am I older than my older brother?
Poor David asked, “Am I older than my ‘older’ brother? My brother was born in 1999, and I was born in 2005. Aren’t I technically older than him because my birth year is a higher number than his? He won’t listen to me when I tell him I’m older than him!” in a thread on Yahoo .
You know what, why not say yes? Go on, just let him have it, I mean what’s the worst that could happen… aside from him failing every math test from then on!
The truth about Christian Bale!
“Is Christian Bale a Christian since his name is Christian?” was the question that one person had for Yahoo . Clarifying their position by saying, “His parents must have named him Christian for some reason?”
However, the best response came in the form of, “Is Mitt Romney a baseball glove?”
“How do I poop in the litterbox without getting in trouble?”
“How do I poop in the litterbox without getting in trouble? I want to poop in the litterbox, and preferably leave it there for the other cats to observe in shock and awe. Without my mom knowing,” was the question asked by one strange, strange person.
There were a lot of people simply condemning this person for being weird, but one helpful person offered the answer, “First you poop on the carpet a few times and get in trouble. Then when you finally poop in the litterbox, it’ll be perceived as an improvement, and you won’t get in trouble.”
Did I Turn My Boyfriend Into A Vampire?
One very concerned person took to Yahoo Answers to ask, “Did I turn my boyfriend into a vampire?” Then went on, quite unsettlingly to add: “Ok so i have a new boyfriend yay and we have been seeing each other for about a month now.
“I’ve been experimenting with eating my own blood ever since the twilight books first came out- I consider myself to be a vampire now- I usually just save the blood I lose naturally each month (usually just keep the tampons in the freezer etc.) and suck on them or eat them later.
“I decided that I would try and ‘turn’ my new boyfriend. So I’ve been cooking my blood into his food when he comes over- I tried making blood pudding as well, but that only works if I’ve had a heavy flow (you need ALOT of blood)- so I usually just add a little bit of blood into the marinade or pasta sauce etc. He has absolutely no idea.”
No… I can tell you with certainty that you haven’t turned him into a vampire, and dear God stop doing what you’re doing.
How do babies come out of a vagina?
The majesty and wonder of childbirth was questioned by this one person who wrote on Yahoo Answers, “How do babies come out of a vagina? I mean… the tubes are too small inside the vagina for a baby to come out of – and the vagina itself is too small to release a baby out of it – how does it come out?”
Now, fortunately, there was one biologist in the comments who was able to help this person out by explaining, “You eat a lot of butter and the baby slips out.”
“If I got bitten by a 6 year old, will I turn into a 6 year old?”
Their Yahoo Answers query expanded on their problem as such, writing: “A 6 year old bit me, will I turn into a 6-year-old? And also, should I get medical help?”
I suppose it depends on the 6-year-old that bit you really, doesn’t it? The top answer to this worrying situation as a resounding yes: “Yes you will. You need to go to the emergency room ASAP for an antidote! If you don’t you will become a 6yo forever.” So, that’s good to know!
If you pump a haunted cellar full of concrete, does it get rid of the ghost?
“Like if you totally obliterate the ghost’s environment by filling the whole cellar full of liquid concrete, right up to the ceiling, does it effectively exorcise it? Or would the ghost just move upstairs and haunt the rest of the house?” they asked Yahoo Answers. Also, they went on to say, “Stupid ignorant people who don’t believe in ghosts should not respond to this question.”
And, sadly, a lot of people said that this would not work. In fact, not only would it not work, but it would incur the wrath of the spirit who you had tried to evict! So, don’t try this at home folks!
The computer mirror conundrum!
This one is particularly interesting, as one person asked Yahoo Answers: “How to turn a computer monitor into a mirror? Does anyone know if it’s possible to use a background that would essentially turn my computer monitor into a mirror? Scanning a mirror doesn’t work. And neither does taking a picture of a mirror and putting it on as the background. please don’t recommend google images.”
Obviously, people suggested using a webcam, however, where is the fun in that? One person also suggested that they just set their background as a nice picture of their face, and then they will always look at their best!
How do I take care of my pet potato?
The full question posed to Yahoo Answers was, “How do I take care of my pet potato? I just got a pet potato but I don’t know how to take care of it.”
And, while there were plenty of suggestions such as “play games with it”. and “take it for plenty of long walks”, the top answer was, “Eat it”.
What’s that song that goes… dun dun… dun dun… dun dun dun dun dun dun… then it repeats?
Yep, this person asked Yahoo Answers, “What’s that song that goes… dun dun…. dun dun…. dun dun dun dun dun dun… then it repeats?”
In fairness, I have had this conversation with my friends many times about many different songs. However, the key to those conversations was that we could hear the notes! The only person to offer any real feedback was someone who wrote back, “Yeah, I like that one. dun dun….dun dun….dun dun dun dun dun dun”.
The weirdest way to get rid of bats imaginable…
A somewhat distressed human being took to Yahoo Answers to ask, “To get rid of all [the] bats in my attic should I buy 100 snakes and put them in my attic?”
While the answer may seem to be a hard no, one person offered the better answer of, “You should buy one snake and swing it around like a whip”. And, I genuinely cannot think of a way to make Peta hate you faster.
Is there a spell to become a mermaid that actually works?
They elaborated on their question, writing on the website , “I would like to know if there is a spell available to become a mermaid, one that works. I am asking people that believe in mermaids. Don’t say things like ‘mermaids don’t exist’ because I take it very seriously and I find it offensive. PLEASE HELP ME FIND A SPELL!!! BTW. I am also a witch”.
Now, all joking aside, people actually got incredibly angry with this person and really roasted her for believing in mermaids, which doesn’t seem very fair because… look, there’s a good reason I just can’t think of one now except for just don’t be mean to people!
Is it okay to boil headphones?
“I let my younger brother use my headphones, and he used them for evil. He listened to the absolute WORST music on the planet, and I am so ashamed. He stole my headphones’ innocence. Can I boil them, in an attempt to drive the evil out? If not, how can I get rid of the evil in them?” they asked Yahoo answers.
While a lot of people advised this person to get a “better grip on reality”, the top answer actually provided a lot of good advice ⏤ as they wrote, “Don’t just boil them. You have to drive these demons, back to the pits of fiery hell they once came from, go out, buy a flamethrower (which are apparently 100% legal in America) and BURN IT WITH FIRE!” Sound advice from a clearly very calm individual there.
(…please don’t actually set fire to your headphones with a flamethrower!)
