There’s no question that the restaurant game is a tough business. You need the right talent, the right food, the right connection, and — perhaps most importantly — you need a way to stand out.
Sometimes, though, it seems like standing out is where people start, and that the restaurant game is just a race to see who can come up with the most pretentious idea possible.
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1. I don’t feel okay with this at all.
Like, mentally, I understand that this would have been a brand new urinal and that it wouldn’t have been used for its original purposes before, but really? Like, really really? I wouldn’t ever be able to get the thought out of my head.
2. I’ve heard about putting shrimp on a barbie, but never prosciutto on a Barbie.
Like, is this supposed to be a tantalizing sort of thing where you’re undressing her? Or did I just make this even weirder than it was in the first place?
3. Well, at least this one has a plate.
Maybe that’s the real trick to portion control. You’ve got to flip the plate over and eat out of the little divot at the bottom. What is that called anyway? A stand? No, that doesn’t sound right.
4. Okay, so honestly, I’m trying to be sarcastic about these, but this one is way too cool do that to.
That, my friends, is a meringue, served on a floating pillow. A. Floating . Pillow — apparently it floats by way of magnets, which, as we know, are basically magic.
5. Um. What?
Like, I get the connection between the rat and the cheese. So, fine. But what kind of spooky theme does your restaurant have that you think skeletons are a reasonable part of your place setting?
6. Pretty much everyone eating broccoli growing up pretended they were dinosaurs eating trees. Now you can eat broccoli off of one.
It’s almost like a childhood dream come true. Except hipstery and weird.
7. Sometimes, it’s hard to tell if the restaurant is being pretentious or if they just ran out of plates.
I’m having a hard time believing that somebody paid for this quality of food, skillet or not.
8. If I ever order anything and it only comes with six chips, you’d better believe I’m going to lose my mind.
And that’s way too much sauce for how little chip surface area there is! This is all madness.
9. Who needs a butter dish when you’ve got…a rock?
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve spent a lot of time fantasizing about eating butter off The Rock before, but this is a totally different thing.
10. This is basically what my iPad looks like when my kids are done playing with it.
Except, y’know, it’s less meticulously placed food arrangements and more smeared with peanut butter and boogers.
11. I’m hoping this is on purpose and someone wasn’t just looking for a place to park their snowboard.
Not gonna lie, though, that pizza looks delicious. 10/10 would eat, even if it’s kind of waxy from the board.
12. Apparently this ravioli place took some lessons from the nacho restaurant from back in #8.
This is going to ruin clotheslines for me forever. They’re always going to have stupid clothes on them instead of delicious ravioli.
13. You can save a ton of money on plates by just serving people cheese onto their own hand!
I really appreciate that this person is still stunting super hard with their Fossil watch.
14. I can’t tell if this is a meal or a Saw-esque trap that I need to survive.
Seriously, you could market this as a board game or an escape room and you’d do gangbusters.
15. Sure, serving food like a hipster is easy, but drinks are a whole new challenge.
In case it isn’t abundantly clear (because why would it be?), that’s a bloody mary served in a bag, delivered in a fry basket. Because why not?
16. And what meal is complete without your bill being presented to you on a typewriter?
As one Redditor pointed out, “That is some grade A hipster try-hard s***.” Hard to disagree with that.
