I don’t know about all of you, but I’ve had a bit of a bad week that’s felt more like a year , and I’m in need of a really good laugh to help remind me that things aren’t nearly as awful as they seem.
When I need a good laugh, I like to spend a few hours scrolling through Twitter to find the funniest tweets possible. But luckily for you, I’ve put all those hilarious tweets into one helpful little list — no hours of scrolling required.
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You’re welcome.
Skype was before her time.
Before Zoom there was Skype, and sure she had her problems, but she did the job. I’m not sure where she went or if she’ll ever come back, but all I know is that she left way too early because she could have really made a killing off all this quarantine stuff.
“Where do I even start?”
Honestly, if I’m going to try to tell anyone about the year 2020, they better be ready to sit for as long as those kids on How I Met Your Mother did because this story is nine seasons long.
Uber drivers are moving therapists — change my mind.
Sometimes I don’t like to say anything to my driver. And sometimes, if I’ve had a few alcoholic beverages, Donald becomes my new best friend because I know I can confide in him and tell him anything and he won’t judge me at all.
5 stars.
It do be like that, though.
I laughed at this tweet, and then I cried at this tweet, and then I moved on with my life because the most you can do is just accept your poor, destined to rent-forever fate.
Someone tell me?
I’ve never been a “cute ponytail” girl. I’ve also never been someone who could put my hair in a messy bun without it looking like a half-baked croissant.
How do we just *all* know the lyrics?
I don’t remember learning the words, and I don’t remember ever realizing I knew the words. All I know is that whenever it comes on the radio, I sing that song from start to finish without missing a single line.
He always looks pretty carefree.
I support your desire to be the no-nonsense bartender. Just don’t be the piano player because he’s somehow always the first guy to get shot and he never does anything wrong.
I never thought of it that way before.
Babies who were just born yesterday are obviously way more stupid than the ones who were born the day before, too.
It’s just one big baby-shaming hierarchy.
Not again.
I’m always forgetting that. I should really start keeping it by the door or someting.
My children will *not* be the worst kind of people.
They also better not say “I guess it’s free!” when something doesn’t ring through at a cash register or I’m just going to have to disown them.
Please.
Let me tell you about myself. Who knows me better than I do, right? No need to call people who don’t even really remember me.
Keep going, Elton.
Look, you were the one who brought it up and then you just bailed on that whole story line which I think is super unfair to your loyal fans.
What if you were a sculptor??
We see you and we love you because we *were* you.
When I was in high school, I went through a transitional phase I think all teen girls have to go through at one point in their lives where I took down every single poster of Zac Efron, Robert Pattinson, and Nick Jonas from my wall because it was time to grow up .
“Wow, I forgot these walls were actually pink!”
That’s quarantine for you.
There’s nothing like the thrill of tracking a package for several days, finally receiving it, and having that feeling of bliss slowly slip away again.
That is, until you order something else!
I didn’t know I was supposed to level-up!
I’ve always been a Coke drinker and have never once ever tried to transition to Diet Coke or Coke Zero. I’m sorry, but you can all enjoy your bland cans while I sit over here and rot my teeth with the good stuff.
Nice try, but no.
I’m not sure when it happened, but I’ve somehow become this person who is obsessed with the throw pillows on my bed and all my couches looking the exact same every single day.
The best improvement.
Honestly, I don’t care if you think a new counter top and back splash matter more than a furry four-legged friend joining the family — that’s my kind of upgrade.
Explain yourself!
Was Fairy Godmother too busy dealing with other princesses to realize she had one that was literally being used as a slave for her step family, or did she just forget that was going on for 18 years?
Terrible.
Why is this so relatable?
My mom loves to rip into us kids as soon as we have company over, and all we can do is sit there and smile politely while we tell ourselves we are never helping her work the wireless printer ever again.
It’s always in the back of my mind now.
“Running away” seemed like it was going to be a much bigger issue when I was a kid, but I didn’t know one single person my age who actually ran away.
Now, though, I know several adults who have just straight up disappeared to avoid their responsibilities.
