It takes a remarkable amount of cunning to live your life skating by on technicalities . So on the one hand, I kind of really respect people who do so. On the other hand, I’m sure it’s incredibly frustrating to constantly deal with someone who’ll put a ton of work into doing things the wrong — but still technically right — way.
1. Sometimes you don’t really need to look for what you want because the universe just gives it to you.
That does sound like me, though. I do really want to eat four tamales smothered in chili and cheese. It’s like they’re speaking right to me.
2. Goodness knows I love it when Reddit asks people questions, but sometimes the sarcastic answers are the very best ones.
By the sounds of things, if you have any butterfly-breeding plans, then that second person is the one to ask. They’ve got confidence that they can get those caterpillars to their final stage every time.
3. Yeah, that’d show ’em…I guess?
Apparently, something like this actually happened in a soccer game where one team, protesting a referee’s decision, scored 149 goals against themselves . If that’s not my kind of pettiness, I really don’t know what is.
4. I mean that is literally thing you would do, right?
How would you even realize that you could do it in the first place? It’s not like people regularly go around walking into walls, right? Seriously, back me up here.
5. A good technicality doesn’t even have to be intentional. Sometimes the universe just has your back.
If nothing else, it’s a sign that you should always follow a career path based on your name, just in case your marquee burns out.
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6. This is why we don’t often check in with Netflix for breaking sports coverage.
That being said, if you asked me to write a tweet about basketball, this is about as much as I could accomplish too. What I’m saying is that I should probably work for Netflix.
7. I imagine it’s very frustrating trying to deal with somebody who’s more concerned with a punchline than with being helpful.
I say this knowing full well that this is something I do. So consider this my apology to anyone who has to deal with me.
8. Well, they’re not wrong.
Which, I guess is pretty much the catchphrase for this whole article. That being said, I bet that this correct answer probably led to a conversation in the principal’s office.
9. They say the best way to avoid being disappointed is to just not have any expectations.
I respect that this person is playing The Price Is Right rules with a general Tumblr comment. There are no stakes, but they’re still lowballing — just in case.
10. Based on the same logic as the Earth person from the last one, this is also absolutely true.
Once again, all those days I spent watching The Price Is Right when I was pretending to be sick to avoid school have paid off.
11. It’s not about whether you win or lose, it’s the sore loser attitude that counts.
I’d probably be way more accepting of this dude’s logic if he didn’t look so obnoxiously smug while he said it.
12. Presumably, thousands of dollars went into this security set-up, and it’s all worth it for this joke.
Or maybe some industrious robber turned the camera toward the sign, leaving the hapless security guard to feel like everything was fine as they read that sign on their security monitor.
13. I don’t think that word means what you think it means.
That being said, I can respect anyone who’s willing to risk a ticket on this kind of technicality.
I imagine the driver arguing, “Show me where it says ‘environmentally friendly,'” to the applause of the jury. Yes, I’m imagining this infraction went before a jury. Shut up about it.
14. Every once in awhile, an artist will come down off their pedestal and explain how they do what they do.
Bless you, Jim Davis, for letting us in on your trade secrets.
15. At least once a day, this sign is probably accurate.
It’s also very possible that I don’t understand how the moon or orbits or anything like that works. Y’know what? It’s not just possible, it’s certain.
16. Get it?! Get it?!
It’s a chainsaw! I’m sure you did actually get it, because you’re a clever person. But you understand that it’s my job for people to laugh, so I need to make sure the other guy got it. You understand.
