13+ People Who Are Making It Up As They Go Along

As the saying goes, “Fail to prepare, prepare to call your mother to try and help sort out the mess you’ve gotten yourself into because you’re still a child at heart.” I’ve lived my life by this adage, and it’s never let me down.

Preparation is so often overrated, as it never produces any funny outcomes, and that’s all that the internet really cares about after all. So, in order to appease the hoards of you sat bored in isolation looking for some form of humorous distraction, here are 13+ people who are making it up as they go along.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have outsourced my homeschooling…”

Other classes include, a belly rubbing masterclass, fetching 101, and a workshop on vomiting on your owner’s nice new bedsheets ’cause you can.

“My US history teacher told us to go outside and build a historical figure in the snow. I present to you, Marie Antoinette.”

“Quarantine! I have done it for years; think you I shall cease it at the moment when my sufferings are to end?”

“It should take 20 seconds.”

Yep, that made me wince. If this is what’s on the line, I think I could afford to wash for a little longer than the recommended timeframe.

“This guy who was drunk as f*ck tried to Shazam in the silent disco.”

Right, for a kickoff, that bar is way too bright. I hate this new trend of brightly lit bars, bars should be dingy, dark, and reflective of the bottomless abyss inside of the people in them.

“I made Quarantine Bingo.”

How many of these things have you found yourself doing on a daily basis that you’re prepared to admit to? Let me know below!

“My ‘Kiss me I’m Irish’ cookie didn’t turn out as well as I would have liked.”

In fairness, this is a much more accurate cookie for how people are feeling as we push deeper in to self-isolation.

5th Day In Quarantine

When it comes to reverting to drawing on your fingers like you’re in high-school again, then you know you’re nearing the end of your rope.

“What should I do now?”

Ah gravity, you always know what I want! Until I drink too much wine and you keep slapping my in the face with concrete.

“My Mom kinda lost her mind in self quarantine.”

The fact that she put headphones onto the toilet seat is making my skin burn. Those things go on your head! Get them away from the toilet you filthy animals!

Fail To Prepare…

Although, if you don’t do it right the first time, you can always print another one off… we do live in the future after all.

“The new and improved weather forecasting system.”

The only weather report I need at the moment is how high I will be turning up the heating today in self-isolation. What I would give for the feeling of rain. Jesus this is bleak.

“What the hell happened here!”

Jesus Christ, whoever came up with these rules had a seriously bad experience with a pigeon that’s for sure!

“Randomly encountered this dog outside my local library: I now fear I am an NPC and he is destined for greater quests than I will ever achieve.”

Just start following him round and telling tales of his victories and spreading his legend across the land.

“As a single man who has eaten out every day since I was 19, this whole ‘fend for yourself’ plan is utter bullsh*t. This is instant oatmeal and I f**ked it up.”

It is actually quite impressive to mess up instant oatmeal. It is also making me feel a little queasy looking at it, it just looks so much like vomit.

They Last Forever You Know?

Aside from the fact that this was a terrible idea in the first place, they’ve also gotten it a little early haven’t they? Imagine if they succumbed to the disease now!

“Toilet paper earrings…”

Get yours now! Earrings that really bring new meaning to the phrase anal beads!

“Day 10 of quarantine. I think my kid is up to something.”

That is a remarkably neat pentagram for a child that small to have made! Unless, they were possessed by the devil — in which case, well done satan, that’s a really neat drawing, well done you!

“Now you can play with the Coronavirus.”

Also, for those wondering, con brillitos means “with glitter”. So now you can have an extra sparkly pandemic!

Tolerance Over Time

I can’t wait until I get out of this quarantine and it costs me an absolute fortune to get drunk in the pub thanks to my newly developed incredible alcohol tolerance!

“Self isolation boredom is kicking in.”

One observant person also pointed out that the most amazing thing about this photo is that he has left his front door open. The next delivery guy is in for one hell of a tip.

“This is my senior graduation picture.”

I mean, it beats the hell out of my graduation picture! Mine doesn’t have a pool or a lilo, but I was drunk as hell so that’s something.

“I don’t want to live in this kind of world anymore.”

But… why? I mean, it’s technically the right call, but that doesn’t mean they should do it! Let them eat hash browns!

“Today was supposed to be my wedding day.”

Now that sucks! Some suggestions of what they could do with them came in the forms of:

“Those can still be relevant. Just pretend that they stand for: ‘Lonely & Sad – 25/03/2020’.”

And, “If those are Tiffany’s, you can melt down the pure silver for bullets in the new world order.”

“Spotted in Montana. Farmers got jokes.”

That’s gonna burn like hell when it comes to using that, I can tell you that for nothing.

“My township has some funny business owners.”

Yep, just an ordinary film about scientists looking for aliens on their own and not finding any, all while practicing proper social distancing. Boring, but one hell of a soundtrack.

“You all better be corn teening.”

These murals will be analyzed by future generations and used as cultural landmarks to pinpoint the moment that humanity fell. They’ll also be part of a collectibles quest in the future’s video-game-esque landscape.

“Bridge piercing for your lenses.”

Someone pointed out that magnets would be more hygienic and efficient. Imagine, going through the ordeal of getting this done for someone to instantly show you a more clean, painless, and effective way of doing it.

Meanwhile In The Czech Republic

How would you resist pulling at those handles? I mean, it’d be horrifically cruel, but it is just begging for it.

“Making the best of quarantine.”

Look, it’s pointless try to teach a cat about this. They’re such massive assholes anyway that they’d probably just shoot you out of spite.

Kids Give Mother Employee Of The Month.

If they’re giving her employee of the month, can they also give her monthly reviews for when she doesn’t quite make the cut?

“Mother did not provide us with enough sweets this month, this should be improved upon before the next review session.”