Life can be tough, but that means that sometimes you need to be tough with life! Whether you’re bad at saving, or eating instant noodles alone in your flat at 30-years-old, now is the time to get your life back on track!
I mean, if you really want that is, or you can just join me in enjoying, and largely relating to these 12+ tweets for people who really need to get their act together!
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The Best Way To Spend A Life
You can never have enough mozzarella sticks! Although, it couldn’t hurt to maybe have a salad once in a while maybe?
People Who With Their Fragile Masculinity
Yeah Kyle! Get a grip man, why not swallow your pride and have a drink that actually tastes nice for once!
Talking To Animals
There is a quiet desperation in this that i can absolutely resonate with. Especially considering I have perhaps the most spoilt dog on the planet… and no one to blame but myself.
“Yeah Deborah, wtf?”
I never got the whole “good plates” thing. You eat off them… they’re literally just covered in food, the food is the important bit!
The Bank-Teller’s Curse
“It says here that you spent £68 on tequila shots last night?”
“So, is that a yes to the drink or not?”
Ratted Out By Your Car
This is a comedy of errors! I hope that he tracked that car down and exacted revenge on it for ratting him out when he finally got released!
*Shrieking*
Look, sometimes a guy just needs to know if there are Cheetos in the house, and that takes precedence over everything else at that exact moment.
The Joys Of Instant Noodles
Look, instant noodles get a lot of grief, but without them I would have starved to death years ago! And, quite frankly, so would a lot more people than you would care to imagine!
The Perfect Evening
I mean, if you really want to have fun, you can set up a catapult at one end of the room, fill the condoms with wine, and soak yourself in red wine. Now that is entertainment!
Ambitious Dinner Plans
That’s why you always need to have an emergency Pot Noodle in the cupboard, for when you eventually give up on actually cooking.
Flossing Is Overrated
Now, I’m no dentist, but I’m sure that one floss every 3-4 months is an appropriate frequency! Go you!
Living The Dream…
Okay, so I’m not saying that this isn’t a satisfying feeling, but there have to be things in life that are more important to tweet about surely?
Fix It Quickly!
Never before have truer words been spoken. And to think that kids really believe that adults know what they’re doing!
Pizza Ordering Nightmare
Encounters with service employees can be incredibly stressful sometimes. I mean, everyone has surely said, “You too!” to a waiter when they’ve said “Enjoy your meal!” haven’t they?
New Dieting Techniques
You know what, I’m actually impressed that you lasted 3 days. I can’t even go 24 hours without having at least 17 unhealthy snacks!
Nevermore
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I swiped, weak and weary, over many a quaint and curious Tinder profiles who’ve forgotten they’ve left my message on saw …
This Just In
I do kind of miss the days when literally everything could be blamed on Marilyn Manson, they were simpler times, and some belter tunes.
Investigative Genius
I hate it when my watch stops, as it takes me days to get round to setting the right time again, even though it would only take a minute.
When Things Were Simpler
That is one hell of a specific problem, but still a valid problem nonetheless! Never let anyone tell you that your struggles aren’t important!
Less Money, Mo Problems!
Throw in a couple of books, videogames, and far too much Guinness and you’ve hit the nail on the head! But, you know what, life is for living!
