Single life is often lauded as being the best time of your life, where you can just do what you want and have casual sex without any real commitment left, right, and center! However, the tragic reality of being single is a far cry from the glamorous depiction of single life that popular TV sitcoms portray.
Anyone who has spent a long period of time being single will doubtless find something crushingly relatable in the following list of 12+ people who are single and probably not ready to mingle!
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Single And… Oh, Wait…
When you are single, you imagine that you will be suddenly confident as George Clooney in Oceans Eleven. However, in reality, you’re more like Paul Dano in… well, anything that Paul Dano is in, he never exactly plays a catch!
K Bye
I think this was actually the working lyric for this song. If only we could update all of the classic Christmas songs to fit in more with contemporary society.
Run Away!
Sure, in your head you’re single and ready to move forward, but as soon as that opportunity to be happy comes barrelling towards you, you’ll jump over it like Mario.
Hello Darkness My Old Friend
I particularly like how it looks like the little guy is peeking round to the couple next to him and asking, “Hey, can I get a hug please?”
And yes, I said “him” because I relate a little too much to this guy!
The Long Winter
I always just assumed that single people nested underground over the Christmas months, like Asian hornets.
“Who’s gonna die alone now Grandma?”
She looks far too elated with that sign. I wonder if there is anyone out there who actually met their partner on a rollercoaster, let me know if that happened to you or someone you know, I’m genuinely curious!
*Hiccups*
New Years is a terrible holiday, there’s too much pressure to have fun. So, if you want to spend it getting better acquainted with the floor then be my guest!
It Feels “Real”
Ah, yes, just like a real hand. Well, except for the rubbery flesh and the fact that its face is in the centre. I also think it was sad enough without the smiley face on it, you really didn’t need to add that particular detail.
Anyone Got An Eraser?
When I shout “I’m gonna write my wedding vows in pencil,” you shout, “Commitment issues!”
Creatures Of Mystery
In fairness I think that there is a fair amount of men that also do this, we just don’t happen to have a renaissance meme about it.
Smile Through The Pain
I reckon that volcano will be listening to the Smiths later. Even when you’re heart is erupting with rage and misery, you just need to put on a happy face!
Trust Me On This!
It really is remarkable how some people who are single will constantly give out relationship advice without any tint of irony.
The Struggles Of Life
It’s almost as though life isn’t designed to be easy. Oh, wait, it’s not, it is a constant slog of taxes and heartbreak. Merry Christmas!
Home Invasion
I don’t think the thing that home invaders are there to steal is your heart. Your laptop maybe, but not your heart. It’s much harder to sell a heart for one thing.
How Are You Spending The Holidays?
Oh, you know, just the usual holiday season! Making cripplingly depressing and weird holiday cards for everyone I know.
What A Snack!
As cute as this is, if this is you’re thinking of trying this as a real pulling technique, I can tell you that it will get you in more trouble than it’s worth from personal experience.
Catch Me!
There’s nothing wrong with having the self-belief to know that you would make an amazing partner for yourself!
Twitter Vs Reality
You really need to start changing gears when you get into work man. Also, if you’re struggling to tell the difference between reality and Twitter, you may have to see a therapist!
The Vicious Cycle
And then, when the pair of you are dead, your children will continue the strange tradition, unsure of why they are doing it, but never ending the cycle.
Don’t let any of this get you down though, just get out there and be yourself! Unless you can be a better version of yourself, then be that person I guess.
Plenty Of Fish In The Sea!
On a scale from 1 to 14 which fish on this picture do you think that you are? I like to think that I’m a 6, look at the grin on that fella!
