Let me get one thing out of the way: I know literally nothing about fashion. Right now, I’m wearing two different socks and I barely managed to find a clean shirt this morning.
So am I the best person to describe the majesty that is Ezra Miller’s looks?
Nope. But that’s what’s happening, so hold on!
1. So, I know that Ezra Miller is notorious for some pretty iconic looks.
Is he bringing back that old-school necktie thing? How long after Ezra Miller wears something can I wear it? Is there any chance I’m gonna be able to pull off anything this dude wears in this list?
2. OK. Slight hope. This is a pretty simple look, but I love it.
I’m wondering how much of this is fashion and how much is Ezra Miller posing. I think a good chunk of the charm here might be from the dude himself.
OK, so I think I’m getting it. Ezra Miller is a fashion genius?
I know, I know. At this level of fame, you have people who dress you.
Not like actually put your clothes on (ugh please can I have someone dress me every day?), but someone to plan your outfits. But you gotta be willing to work those looks.
3. Wow. This is a LOOK.
I think it’s the lipstick that does it for me. Is this modern Dracula chic or what?
Also, any hopes I had of ever pulling off one of these looks is quickly draining away.
4. Ooh! Never mind! Toad is a look for everyone!
But for real, when you can convince two other people to show up as Mario characters with you and nobody picked Waluigi…I dunno man. Priorities .
I guess having a lineup of happy Toads is worth losing a Waluigi. MAYBE.
I’ll forgive him if he does a trio of Waluigis the next time.
5. I didn’t even try to put these in some kind of order, but you can tell this is for a Harry Potter event.
How can you tell? Well, if you pay close attention to this feathered majesty…
Yes, that’s right. The killing curse, over and over again. Which fits, because Ezra is KILLING IT here.
I think the biggest challenge wasn’t the outfit, but how to keep the ink off those white feathers.
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6. Does wearing a Batman shirt and a Flash hat count as a faux pas?
You know, like wearing horizontal and vertical stripes at the same time, or anything I cobble together out of my closet?
Who am I kidding? The dude doesn’t know HOW to make a faux pas when it comes to fashion.
I’m convinced that he could turn a sweatshirt and a dog stuffy into something worthy of a red carpet.
7. For example, turning a sleeping bag into a fashion sensation.
Again, it might be the lipstick that ties this whole thing together. I might try this look just because it looks super warm and, you know, Canada .
8. This one is…probably not a fashion look. Maybe a Halloween costume?
I’m not sure what he’s supposed to be, but I do know that whatever it is, he’s owning it.
Seriously, is there ANY look this guy does that isn’t a bullseye?
OK, busted. I admit that joke was just an excuse to use this image.
9. I needed one of the other writers to tell me what this costume was supposed to be.
But can we talk about how great it is that he shows up to Comicon stuff and he’s actually cosplaying ?
10. Oh, sure. When he does it, it’s fashion. But when my pants rip, it’s all “go home, that’s inappropriate for the workplace.”
I guess it doesn’t count when it’s not on purpose, so maybe that’s fair.
If this were a list of “Looks Ezra Miller Can Pull Off But I Can’t,” this article would never end.
So maybe it’s better that I can’t wear ripped pants to work after all.
11. OK first of all, I am loving the red stripe matching the boots. Ugh, I’m more jealous by the second.
Second, is this dude just the nicest guy on the planet, or is literally everyone in these pictures faking their joy?
12. He even does Johnny Depp’s look better than Johnny Depp.
Maybe it’s not 100% Johnny Depp, but add a few more bracelets, necklaces, and at least two pairs of tinted glasses and it’s there.
To be fair, I can’t tell when Johnny Depp is just wearing his normal clothes or wardrobe for a movie.
But maybe that’s just what happens when you spend a couple decades as Tim Burton’s muse.
13. OK, I was a little worried there for a second, but I guess he’s mortal after all.
If someone can look that good and Will Smith still gives him that kinda cut eye, then maybe Ezra Miller is human.
14. That’s a pretty intense outfit and equally intense face for “vitamin water selection.”
I love this look, but if he’s selecting the water based on whether it matches the outfit…
15. Nope. Never mind. Perfect.
I picture his closet like an all-you-can-eat buffet of costumes that he cartwheels through every morning. “Do I wanna be a wizard today?” Answer: Yes.
16. Even trying to look creepy, Ezra Miller rocks it.
“Bet you I can look cute doing an impression of a sewer rat.” “No way.” “Hold my matching vitamin water, bruh.”
And there we have it. Ezra Miller, an elemental force of fashion.
I gotta say, I started this article confused, and I’m leaving it seething with jealousy.
That’s show biz, I guess.
