We all know they weren’t technically worth anything, but let’s not start acting like it didn’t feel really good when the teacher gave us a gold star. And how I know it felt good was that I used to have an editor who did exactly that when I did something that impressed her.
And even though I was 26 at the time, I still felt as proud as I did when I got a gold star and a dinosaur sticker as a kid. That’s right, I was a baller.
But I also want to spread that wonderful feeling, so let’s hand out some gold stars to these fine folks.
1. Haha, is this supposed to discourage getting too lit? Because I’d just see this as letting my friend’s talents flourish.
I can already see the exchange now.
“Yo, maybe you should chill on that. You’ve had a lot.”
“But I’m bringing joy to the world! With Phrotoshhhop!”
2. Aww, this kid’s definitely made it to the big leagues now that he has his own special parking spot.
I just wonder what job title you need before you get a perk like this. VP of Playground Enjoyment? Director of Cootie Control?
3. It’s a good thing this is actually clever because it’s hard to find a pun that’s worth the discomfort when this guy tries to sit down.
If not for the part where Batman has a bunch of extra weapons, I’d be sure the Joker’s behind this.
4. Haha, I guess most of us turned Clippy off too quickly to find out that he liked to walk on the wild side.
He just needed the support of this lady to come out of his shell and lampoon the costume industry all at once.
How heartwarming.
5. I’d have to work pretty hard to make sure the next words I said here weren’t “marry me.”
I’m sure a lot of y’all could understand the temptation, but moving that fast is kind of a red flag, and scaring this girl away would be tragic .
6. Haha, based on our “Simba’s” facial expression, I think he’s probably happy enough to wait a little to be king.
Note that they said this is what they had to do. There’s obviously a pretty heavy or scary burden involved, depending on which one you are.
7. Yeah, anybody who tailgates a truck like this just tripped and fell on the wrong side of the line between bravery and foolishness.
Trust me, you don’t want a piece of the Hamburglar’s new racket no matter how happy he looks about it.
8. Only a long and perilous journey can make someone feel this satisfied about scootin’ along.
So the next time your kid thinks their birthday present is lame, just send them to Mount Doom with the dreaded ring in hand.
Also, don’t take parenting advice from me. Thanks.
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9. I’m pretty impressed that somebody got this extra about their keyboard, but I’m also glad I’m not the one using it.
Looking away from the screen is supposed to alleviate your eyestrain, not contribute to it! And I’d probably never get used to the labels.
10. Ooh, woe betide any double-parker cocky enough to pull their bullcrap in this parking lot.
For the shopping cart brigade is only the first phase in the parking avenger’s attack! Nobody is ever prepared for how disappointed his eyes can look.
11. I wouldn’t have thought that doggy tracksuits were that high on the pupper’s wish list, but that big ol’ smile has definitely proven me wrong.
I feel like any squirrel this dog comes across is giving up. Good luck outrunning somebody who dressed for the occasion.
12. Man, I wish it was always this easy to figure out whether a party was worth going to or not.
Because if somebody shows up with a disco ball on their head, the chances of me awkwardly standing in the corner just plummeted.
